Hi I'm new to this, any help would be wonderful.....

[misswhiplash]

The last 2 years I have been suffering from Anxiety/panic attacks off and on. This last couple of months they have gone full throttle. I have become obsessed with my heart rate. If it beats faster or I can hear it, or see my chest beating I panic. Dying seems to be the real issue. Especially dying away from home, alone.

I had a panic attack before attending my sons school parents eve ( fairly standard for some!!) As soon as I could leave the school hall and walk the panic subsided.

My tummy starts and then the sickness feeling, heart pounds.Being sick helps. Dizzyness is also horrible. I didn't put the panic and the dizzyness together, but from reading some posts I see they go hand in hand.

I don't think you realise how much it affects you and sits on your shoulder all the time.

I want the old me, I just don't know how to find her.

I'm so glad I found this site. It shows I'm not alone or going crazy xx

[Poppy45]

Hi Misswhiplash, You certainly aren't alone or crazy infact I now feel more normal as I though I was the only one who got physically sick from anxiety...and like you it briefly helps.

The heart rate thing is so common and was an obsession of mine for ages as my mum has palpitations and arythmia. Because she has heart issues I assume that I do too and as you do I panic that I am going to die. For a while I had depression too and felt completely torn as one minute the depression told me I wanted to die and the next minute my anxiety made me afraid of dying. Dizzyness can be due to the increased adrenaline in your system having nowhere to go. Your heart races, adrenaline is going and that makes you feel dizzy, something that I find helped me and it was impossible for me to do for ages as my anxiety often rooted me to the spot was to go for a short walk. It helped to relieve the adrenaline surge and got me breathing fresh cool air and got me out of my bubble.

I've met quite a few people with anxiety issues now and the heart one seems to be a really common one. My husband has such a slow heartbeat so when we compare rates my resting rate is often twice what his is. I have learned to accept my heartrate is naturally faster and when I feel it racing because of anxiety I do the walk thing or I (try to) calmly go and lie down breathe deeply and listen to relaxation music with a nice candle burning. I often to progressive muscle relaxation as it distracts me a little from the racing thoughts but also calms me at the same time.

I also saw my doctor who put me on quetiapine which for me helped to stop my thoughts racing, it's not a diazapam or zopiclone so not addictive. The normal dose for people is 400mg but for anxiety I took 1 tablet at 25mg and whilst initially it made me drowsy it really helped to give me a bit of space from my mind if that makes any sense.

Glad to share the journey will you

xx

[misswhiplash in reply to Poppy45]

Thank you so much Poppy

You feel totally alone, but I feel this forum could really help.

I need to get a grip on this, I wont be beaten!

xxxx

[rouri in reply to misswhiplash]

good on misswhipplash that is the kind of attitude you need when anxiety. this site is amazing and people are so sweet and try to help as much as we can

you will learn a lot, just get yourself familiar with the site, read some blogs which are amazing.

take care of yourself

[misswhiplash in reply to rouri]

Aww thanks Rouri, I will most certainly get looking and reading.

I will win!! So will you.

xx

[Poppy45 in reply to misswhiplash]

No problem, it's funny when I get a bit of a blip as I like to call it (for me calling it a blip makes me feel like it's short and non-permanent and helps me to bring what feels like a massive attack down in size) I come onto these forums, blog, talk to people. I used to have a different username and then switched to this one (same pic tho). I cannot say how helpful everyone is on here. and you're so right - YOU WILL NOT BE BEATEN YOU WILL SUCCEED

xx

[Hidden]

Hi misswhiplash. You may not agree with what I am about to say and if not don't worry about it. We all have different ways of coming out of this nightmare. You say you must get a grip on this (A grip on what?). I won't be beaten.( By what?). What you are talking about is "IT", the THING that we have projected as something to be avoided, to fight, to get a grip on, not to be beaten by. But there is nothing there to fear. Only thoughts and they never hurt anyone. OK, so jonathan2468 has gone round the bend. (I thought that too some years ago!). But with perseverance and ACCEPTANCE I am nearly there. I say nearly because I still have setbacks but I have learned to deal with them the right way. The symptoms do not frighten me as they did. During my anxiety state I thought that hell might be a better place to live in than this condition. Keep up the tablets, they help to get you calmed down so you can think more clearly about your condition. As Poppy says, you are not going crazy, if you were you would not think you were. (A paradox but true).

[misswhiplash in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Jonathon

You are correct of course. How can you beat what technically doesn't exist!!

I guess I need to recognise and deal with it. I know the trigger. My mums death 5 years ago.

I didn't deal with it and it came back to get me a year and a half ago.

I had some help and feel I'm in a better place over it. The panic attacks have been left behind and still attack.

This last couple of weeks have been crazy with constant attacks, today I feel near human again!

I took Citalapram for 8 months and thought I'd give them the heave ho, bit too soon maybe? Stopped them in March/April.

xxxx

[Melgil58]

Hello miss whiplash your fear is your heart you say that muscle in your chest that just gets on with it it doesn't need us to tell it to pump it just gets on with it a heart beats I think I read somewhere on average 108000 time a day a pretty efficient bit of kit but with anxiety you get an adrenalin surge that puts up your heart rate a few beats but we feel it and we get jittery because of the anxiety we're more sensitive to body changes but if we do something to steer our thoughts away from our heart to something else our hearts just go back to normal pumping away normally and we are not alone and we are not going do lally or we'ed all be running round gibbering I hope things will calm down for you which it will iv been through a period where I couldn't shake the imaginary companion off my back but it went and things settled down and I hope it will for you I wish you the best look after yourself Mel

[Hidden]

Hi Melgil58. So glad to hear you are feeling better. "The companion on your back" just about sums it up. Good luck. jonathan.

[kjm1987]

Hi, I've suffered panic attacks/anxiety for just under a year now. I thought it was a heart problem so I went to my GP. I had a test for my heart rate (can't remember the name). It came back normal so I was baffled as to what it was. I thought my heart rate caused me to panic so the GP prescribed me with Propranolol which worked for a while but still didn't help with my anxiety. I was prescribed another drug which is such a long name I couldnt even pronounce it, they worked temporary. I'd asked my GP for something thats going to help me straight away, not something that wont kick in for 2 weeks. Again, these worked for a while but was still not helping my anxiety in the long run. After a holiday in Spain - where I felt my worst, I went back to the doctor and she seen how distressed and worried I was about my feelings and she prescribed me with Citalopram 10mg, after a few weeks the dose was increased to 20mg which I was on for about 2 months. Then recently I felt like I was relapsing again, like as if the tablets had stopped working, so the GP increased them to 30mg which just make me feel really tired constantly. Ive only been on this dose for 5 days so I haven't really give them chance to kick in yet. Like you, I'm petrified of dying. I never believe the doctors when they say its anxiety, I always assume they're just sending me on my way with tablets cuz they can't be bothered. Its really frustrating and I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my GP. I tend to get most my info/advice off this website xx