Guys I think I figured out where my anxiety originated from. I believe I took advantage of life when it was good and didn't appreciate the good in life and joyment I felt. Alot of traumatic events happened to me since november of last year. My fiance and I split up. I found out he was cheating for awhile. I then moved out of my house we made a home together and he threw away everything i ever invested in. I made a home there. I then met my amazing boyfriend in January and i had a lot of stress with courts trying to get support for my special needs child and trying to force my son's father to be in his life. All of this I did by myself. I fought everyday to keep my kids happy and not let them see me tearing apart inside. Someone I thought was my best friend and father of my child just threw us out like garbage. It has been 10 months since hes seen his child and I'm running out of excuses to tell my son why his father isnt around. Hes 6! I stopped working because my health declined and boom here comes good old anxiety making my life a miserable wreck. I now understand why I have this. For so many years I took advantage of life. I took advantage of the joys every new day gave to me. I never embraced life. I now sit here and wish I can feel good and take in the day and be adventurous again and be the mother I once was. I just dont know where to begin.
As I sit here and write this I cry because I dont miss the old me because the old me was greedy and didnt enjoy life. I sit here and cry because I know why I have this and i know why this has happened to me. Its to teach me to live as if everyday might be my last day and every morning I should look at that day as a gift from god to start over in life. Its a new beginning. A new chapter of my life beginning. So its our choice wether to embrace that new chance or to throw it away. But dont worry because God is not giving up on us he just wants us to be a little more stronger and embrace the joy of everyday.
We are all in this together so lets fight this and start a new chapter in our books together.
Written by
Lvictoria81
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Wow your thoughts are a lot like mine about this whole anxiety/depression thing. I feel that I didn’t appreciate life when it was good.
We’ve went through so many changes this last year. We lost almost everything that we had accomplished. It’s really hard to think back and remember the things that are gone now. I know we’re not supposed to focus on material things, but they sure do make life easier.
I have always stressed over everything, even when we were doing good. But looking back now, I can see that I should have been happy then, but I wasn’t. I think I was greedy and took advantage of everything as well.
It’s time to pick ourselves up, and fight for this life, and to get back on top.
Yes that's how I am. I think once all the court stuff happened everything ended I'm having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle. Before it was always just Me and my boys because my ex was a truck driver and came home late. Now its me my boys, my boyfriend and his kid. Its alot more stressful and he really doesnt understand it. Its hard for me to put into words how i feel when I talk to him because he doesnt understand. Its just very frustrating.
Yes I agree I felt greedy as well when life was good. I also stressed about things when it was minor and nothing to stress about.
I'm trying to take back my life but every time I get a high of lofe something brings me back down low to the ultimate low.
LVictoria, I am deeply impressed reading your post by your strength, courage and wisdom with which you have handled the traumatic events in your life. Many would not have handled it anywhere near so well as you. Although it has left its mark on you with anxiety you are a tougher person now than you were before though it may not feel that way to you.
God has rewarded you with a new man in your life and you will in time learn to adjust to each other. It is still early days. Maybe you should stop making excuses to your son about where his father is and tell him that his dad has gone away and you don't know when he will see him but stress that it is not your son's fault that his dad went away. Two of my grandsons grew up without their father's present, we told them the truth. They both contacted their fathers when they were 20/26 years old and their father's see them regularly. One has a good relationship with his dad, the other holds it against his father and other grandparents that they were absent when he was growing up. But they travel hundreds of miles to see him regularly. If I had a child somewhere out there I would want to know that it was o.k. and how it was getting on so I understand my older grandson's point of view. But my relationship with them is close because I was there for them and always will be. Who knows how it will be for your son when he grows up, time will tell.
You Victoria must go with the flow and accept your anxiety for the time being as a burden you can cope with. Don't let it stop you doing anything you want or need to do, don't keep testing to see if it's gone away. Surrender to it and don't stress about it and if you starve it of the fear it thrives on then one fine day you will say to yourself: "Hey, what happened to my anxiety, it's gone, praise be to God!"
You have already conquored much in your life and I can tell you will have many victories to come. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Thank you so much I truly appreciate your post. Ive been overcoming many obstacles since last november and to think it's already been a year since I left an abusive, lying,manipulative relationship. I'm getting there little by little. Its a stuggle everyday but I'm hoping I learn from this once I overcome my anxiety and learn to live with it. I will keep everybody informed with my journey on overcoming anxiety. I'm hoping I learn something from the book by Clair weekes.
As I have been learning, slowly but surely over the weeks and month's going by.
Lauren is such a nice girl.
We talk often.
We both have similar type problems with Anxiety at times.
Although truthfully speaking on my own behalf,
I never ever experienced any of these mental health issues or anxiety and panic attacks or any such thing,
Until my own G.P. Doctor put me onn strong sleeping tablets (ZOPICLONE),
Telling me that these tablets are non-addictive and a perfect solution for the temporary insomnia and extra stress that i was going through at that particular time in my life,(around 18 Month's ago)!...
Life was brilliant before this !!
I was running my own Buisness,
I was earning very well,
I was travelling around the world,
Working-out regularly,
Shopping regularly,
Seeing family and friends regularly,
I mean the whole 9 yards,
Was all good !!!!!........
I don't drink or smoke weed or anything like that at all.
I eat well and healthy (75% of the time,LOL).
I mean,
Life was just fine tbh with you.
I had no idea that my Doctor should have stopped my prescription for these Tablets, by 3-4 weeks at the latest.
It was about 9 weeks of being on these when I tried to just immieditly stop,
But....... Was i inn for a shock or what ?!!!!!!!
To cut a long story short,.....Its mind-boggling how something so 'NORMAL' that we all take for granted in life,
Like asking the Doctor for help,
Can turn into something so unexpected and nearly destroy a person's life !!!
You really just don't know what can happen in life,
And when !!!
Anyways,
I'm sorry,
Enough about me.
This is about VICTORIA.
Victoria,
Listen,
When i 1st joined this forum.
Jeff was 1 of the very 1st people to speak to me.
I expressed the Hell and horrible unwanted feelings that i was suffering from.
Jeff messaged back to me.
I've still got the message,
Because I chose to keep it because in those few words,
Were alot of help, truth, experience and wisdom !
I was really suffering all-day,
Every-day,
Total nightmare tbh with you Vicky !........
This is when Jeff spoke to me.
And i SWEAR,
I knew straight away that this gentleman's words obviously come with experience behind them,
But i could also see that this was also an intelligent and kind-natured person who chose to take the time to speak to me when i was really un-well and explain to me, in a way that not even any "SO-CALLED" HEALTH PROFESSIONAL had been able to do yet !!!
Ohh yeah,
The priory clinic,
Was more than happy to charge me nearly £15,000 for a 28 day rehabilitation programme.
Which i 'KINDY DECLINED'!!!.... Since I'm not a drug-addict or pill-popper, or junkie or any of the people who intentionally use these medicines for recreational or illegal or any un-lawfull or un-healthy self-medicating uses or anything like that. (Forgive me, i just want to make clear that i have got ABSOLUTELY NO problem WHATSOEVER with ANYBODY out there who does have a drug-problem. Whether it's using, addiction, selling, stealing or WHATEVER it may be. I RESPECT that you are all victim's of the system of major pharmaceutical industry and companies, who use tbe Doctor'sas their drug-pushers and dealers. Only difference between the public + them is BASICALLY a piece of paper, which grants them a licence to get us inn, get us onn, get us over-using + over-abusing, got us over-buying and eventually and most sadly, they get us over-using and over-dosing until we realise that it's went to far and it's become far too late for some poor innocent people from this disgraceful display of corporate government licenced Drug-dealing + MURDER) !!!!!!
Vicky,
U may have also heard of tbe Priory clinic over in the U.S.. It's basically a rehab for the rich n famous, who can afford to have MASSIVE drugs and substance abuse issues, tben be IMMIEDITLY admitted into the very best of care available by a specialised TEAM of Doctors, physicians, drug councillors, Nurses and other specialists, depending on the subject and his or her particular needs and type of help etc.. Like a 24 hour, round-the-clock , intensive-care type thing, with only the very best if specialists in giving you the 1-on-1 intensive treatment that you need to come off WHATEVER your particular preffered poisons of-choice may have been !!!!......
I ADMIT embarrassinglyASWELL, that i took out £20,000 cash out of my account and had decided to go to them for treatment at the very beginning of when i was really beginning to siffer BADLY each day, and watched this illness getting so-much worse than the day or week before, i simply asked them to book me into tje priory clinic in my city and i was mentally and physically deteriorating each day and i was so so desperate for this NIGHTMARE situation to get cured and out my life for ever.
So when i rang them,
It said on the brochure that the mental health assessment of the patient is FREE FOR THE 1ST ASSESSMENT WITH THE PSYCHOLOGIST !!!.
I thought, that's great !
I will be assessed quickly and be put inn for the correct protocol for the exact type of help i need, in order to make me completely ZOPICLONE FREE and to put a total nightmare of an end to my Anxiety and panic attacks and depression and EVERYTHING else that was needed, in order for me to be brought back to normal again !!!!!
A true, if not expensive, but still very grateful blessing i felt was about ready in just a couple of days.
Then suddenly......... THE PSYCHOLOGIST wanted £280 per hour for the very 1st interview ! Tje secretary telling me that he is going to do you a big FAVOUR by bringing it down to £215 per hour, which will take around 3 to 4 hours to get through the 1st interview and assessment with me !!!
She then told me I'll probably need about 3-5 assessment interviews before they can begin any kind of treatment, and only then can they provide the "Immediate intense therapy and detoxification treatment etc etc !!!!!!
For me,
That was it.
ALL OVER RIGHT THERE !!!!!!!
Even though money wasn't the issue. I had already took £20k for the originally Quoted treatment.
No, i am not stingy or have never been like that with money. Especially if it's for such a good cause for my own health and well-being, but this was just taking the utter-'u know what' !!!!!!.....
So,
I thought forget these daylight legal robbers and put the money back into my bank. It was just after thst when i joined this forum and seen it was kinder and better than the previous one's i jad been trying.
It was just after going through this, when jeff had spoken to me.
I listened to every word from his advice.
I went out and ordered the books which jeff had recommend that i should invest into acquiring for my own health and well-being, i did precisely that and i ALSO got a couple of other similar type books with highly recommended authors and specialists who had written these books.
I SWEAR Vicky........ It was the best thing i ever done !
The best advice I had ever taken and acted upon !
Please trust me....... The books were the Gospel on EXACTLY WHAT all the problems with Anxiety and panic and depression and EVERYTHING else that i was suffering from.
They helped me, SO MUCH !!!!! I was so grateful.
Jeff,
If you are reading this post by any chance. I just want to say a 'MASSIVE THANK YOU TO YOU + MUCH RESPECT FOR YOUR HELP + GUIDANCE AND WORDS OF WISDOM', Which was what helped me FINALLY ADMIT what was wrong, how to accept it without trying to rebel or fight against it and learning how to overcome this TERRIBLE disease of the mind, which most DEFINITELY can be + does get fixed out and kicked-out of your life, once you begin to read and learn about the inner-self, the inner-workings of our own minds and understanding EXACTLY what these problems with Anxiety and panic attacks and depression and EVERYTHING else that we suffer from,
Actually are from a medical stand-point and tje CORRECT ways on how to figjt back with relatively easy methods on how to get rid-off and eliminate these SCARY and confusing problems in our minds but they only need to be understood properly, then + ONLY THEN..... Will you SUCCESFULLY get rid-off and eliminate all off these fake and deceptive temporary mental health issues or problems.
Knowledge is power !
Please believe me and take it from SOMEONE WHO HAS JUST experienced this Hell and then found the method on how to finally start beating the crap out off it and getting it out of my life ,
Once and for all !!!!!!!!!!
Jeff, if you are reading this..
I cannot thank you enough.
You helped a sick-man in despair, in knowing how to get his life back.
Amigoman, thank you so much for your kind words which make the time I spend here worthwhile and I am so glad you have made progress. I am going to read your posting again at my leisure and may well respond further. Thank you again.
Amigoman, I can see that you yourself have helped many people on this forum, passing on what you have learnt with your own experience of anxiety disorder.
I congratulate you on how much you have learnt and the fact that you are willing to give of your time now and then to help someone who is bewildered and in need of understanding and direction.
It has been good to make your acquantance and I hope you continue successfully along the road to complete recovery.
I love this post. Thank you for being so transparent about your past & sharing it with us. I agree with you! I am appreciative more now than I was before because this has humbled me in so many ways.
Thank you so much. I read alot of posts on here about abusive relationships or troubles pasts and I just want people to understand that they are not alone and anxiety is there when u don't even notice until all the troubkes pass and ur left with anxiety and depression. I'm not saying im cured because I'm by far cured but I'm trying everyday. I'm still trying to embrace the good days but it's a struggle. But at the end of the day I say ok I will have a better tomorrow and I try to do that the next day.
No thank you !💕 yes that’s why coming on here is great. It lets me and others now I’m not alone . Here and I can complain & vent & either ppl can relate or they want to help calm you down & help you be happy again . It’s a place I come to when folks seem too busy to tlk to me :/ I guess . Thank you for your story ! But same here , embrace the journey to managing the anxiety!
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Weakness and panic feelings
Dizziness, lightheaded and panic..!!
Who else feels like the unimportant friend? 
Not doing as well as i thought i was after all!
