Started taking lorazepam 0.5 mg (3x a day) and Stillnox to get some sleep. Works like a charm - all the physical symptoms of anxiety I had are gone (such as leg cramps, neck pain, dry mouth, difficulty of breathing, psychosomatic itching etc). Of course the bad thoughts are still here, but with the help from meds at least I am not exhausted anymore and I can actually use some sane human logic for the first time in a long time and perhaps get rid of my unhealthy alcohol addiction (because really, there are healthier ways to deal with this).
Also, I just spent 3 months with severe anxiety + insomnia without any help from the meds so here are a few tips that I found and helped me (or at the very least, eased some of it):
1. sleeping with white noise, so when I woke up in the middle of the night (about 3-4 times EVERY night) my mind wouldn't go straight into 'worried' mode and I concentrated on the sound (a song or rainforest noises from spotify) first.
2. I held something in my hand while sleeping. This is weirdly calming, but when I woke up and felt the weight of something in my hand, I usually didn't go straight into panicking. Sometimes it was my phone, although I was too worried I'd throw it on the floor while sleeping, so mostly it was something softer like a kleenex. It doesn't matter what it is really. I think it's just important to "hold onto something"
3. During my worst panic attacks (and trust me, I had many, mostly during the night) I said out loud something like "I absolutely love my life, I love it, I love it" - don't ask me how or why, I am not a psychology student, but somehow it confused my mind so much that even just for a sec my body got some rest from that constant shaking and sweating and aching. Worth to try.
4. Chamomile tea, long walks, magnesium. I don't know if any of these things actually work, but I do know that if you truly believe, then they really do. At least the placebo effect somehow helped me. Yet. I admit, there were too many nights and days when my anxiety and panic was soo bad that nothing seemed to help and this is when I asked for help. Last night was the first night after 3 months when I slept for 10 hours straight. Thank god.
5. Kundalini Yoga. I think the philosophy itself helped me. In addition to these breathing exercises. For a person who's struggling with severe health anxiety (trust me, to the point where I started learning Chinese palm readings and started my days with checking my tongue.. every day) it's good to know that we are nothing but particles of light in this world just wearing different uniforms. But we're all the same at least that helped me a bit.
6. Doing good. Do good every day. It makes you feel better and for me, I thought that even if I won't live to see another day, at least I did something meaningful while I was here.
7. Avoiding caffeine worked wonders with me. Sadly, I love coffee, but it's not worth the anxiety that follows.
8. Staying warm and comfy. I used to wear high heels every day and constantly forgot to wear a scarf. Now I go around wearing sneakers and jumpers so big I'm drowning in them. It's October and I'm wearing a hat. It's important to feel warm in order to feel safe I guess and also why make your anxiety worse by catching a cold and then suffering and panicking thinking that every flu symptom is "probably something worse". Also - it feels good to be as comfortable as you can be. Really, you have enough to deal with. Allow yourself more during your difficult time. who cares what others may think (and of course I'm not talking about going to a job interview!)
Good luck guys x
You have another day - so you have another opportunity!