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[Ericknorth]

So, I stumbled across this site after looking into panic disorder symptoms. I don't know why keep looking at that site. I guess it's to reassure myself that I'm not actually dying. But, in the moment when I lose my control and I feel the panic sweep over me. I immediately revert back to thinking, "this time is different, you're going into cardiac arrest". I've had countless emergency room visits. Every single time is the same. My pulse is elevated, but EKG looks fine, chest x-rays show nothing and blood work is normal. Aside from being low on potassium and vitamin D. I even saw a cardiologist, received more blood work, a 48 hour halter monitor, as well as a on ultrasound of the heart. All looks normal. Except for a few spots on the monitor that showed unusual behavior but nothing life threatening. My pulse jumped to 160 in the middle of the night, at 3 am. So they put me on a beta blocker to keep the heart rate down. At first I felt good! Like it was helping, but then the attacks came back. Not as bad as before, but I was able to keep myself calm knowing the doctors said I'm fine. That was a few months ago. Now I'm getting them almost everyday. Sometimes twice a day. My brain is just a fog, I can't sleep because I keep having vivid dreams of me dying, then I wake up panicking, dizzy, nauseous. I even woke up in so much distress I walked to my car in the middle of the night and drove around for 2 hours. I would get to the hospital, sit in the emergency room parking lot and start to feel okay, so I'd leave, then it would come back and I'd drive back to the ER. It's a vicious cycle. I'm living my life, day to day being tormented by panic attacks so intense I think I'm having a heart attack. And what makes it worse is, I have no idea what triggers them. They're random, I could JUST be sitting at a stop light, feel one coming on and have to pull over and debate with myself if I should call 911. That happened a couple weeks ago, except, I actually did call 911 once they showed up, it went away. They wanted me to go to the ER but I knew it was just going to be the same frustrating crap. Where they tell me I'm fine, and I get back to waiting until the next attack. One small victory though, is I called the suicide and crisis hotline. I was embarrassed at first. I'm not suicidal, but it listed "crisis" and if anyone knows, panic attacks feel like a life threatening crisis. I have an appointment coming up with a psychiatrist who specializes in panic and anxiety. I'm hoping she can help. Otherwise, I'm going to suffer for what feels like forever.

[Agora1]

Hi Ericknorth, a very true and well written story of your journey with anxiety, that could have been written by anyone of us including myself. I lived the nightmare every day and night. I could go into my medical and psychological spiel for a couple paragraphs but in a nutshell it all boils down to severe anxiety disorder. It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. Running to the ER won't do it but seeing a good psychiatrist will. It will be your first true step in going forward and not running in circles. It WILL NOT last forever as you will one day see. Wish you good luck with your upcoming appointment. Know that we are always here to support and understand what you are going through. Welcome Erick, you've just begun a journey that will get you home again

[Ericknorth in reply to Agora1]

Thanks! It's definitely a challenge. As I'm sure everyone on here is facing. Unfortunately my appointment isn't until the 20th so I have a while to wait before I can get in there. But, it felt good to get it out there even if it's just a post on the internet, and it's always nice to know I'm not alone!

[Bb53 in reply to Ericknorth]

Hi erick I joined this site 4 weeks ago and it's been a great support.ive had fabulous advice posative wishes and lots of people from all over the world coming together to talk about anxiety and how debilitating it can be .i felt alone and very sad but know knowing I'm not alone or going mad !! Is comforting.ive had some bad luck with my health and I know have chronic health anxiety and being a nurse surrounded by illness fuels my anxiety 😳.but I've accepted I have it and listening to dr Clare weekes on you tube daily and reading her book it's given me clarity,and a plan to move forward.good luck we are all with you .big hugs 🤗 Bb x

[Agora1 in reply to Ericknorth]

Precisely Ericknorth, it feels good to get out what's bothering us. What better place than this forum of unconditionally caring men and women who also once felt alone. Until the 20th, come on the forum, interact with others. That in itself will help a lot. We are only a message away.

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Welcome Eric. We all share same symptoms. I hope this site does bring you some ease. It has for me. Be Blessed