Over share

[Dodo777]

There's putting down your thoughts and there is asking questions or sharing for the group to learn from. I put down my thoughts today without really thinking who will benefit and I think from now on I won't put down my thoughts because we all have them sooner or later.

I noticed many people over think worry needlessly. It's like people have to much time to ponder to dwell on things . Your mind your body wasn't designed to sit around all day and I think alot of people end up getting cabin fever. Keep yourselves busy the brain likes routine exercise go for a walk clean get a hobby like myself I am learnig to play guitar to keep my mind healthy and meditated.

[Agora1]

Hi Dodo777, you are absolutely right. Life is about keeping our minds and bodies active, if not we just go into a vegetated state. Keep up the positive reinforcement for yourself and us.

Thanks

[Dodo777]

I just took this guy home I thought because he was with me he'd be on his own so went into his place and the room had a few people in I got this panic in me I was on edge and it showed. I hate being like this it's making me so isolated. I couldn't wait to leave. Even though I been meditating all week I still feel so uncomfortable around people. I bought heroin 2 bags .I have tried everything years of being on my own not being with people that are criminals and nothing is working. When will it end ? When I'm dead. I'm gonna wait till Subutex is out of my system and I'm going to snort or smoke it. I just want to feel care free . This will not be a regular thing because I came across the dealer by accident I haven't got his number even. I have something to look forward to for first time in years.

[Agora1 in reply to Dodo777]

Agora1

[Hidden in reply to Dodo777]

Best you can do is throw that junk. It will destroy your life

[Dodo777 in reply to Hidden]

If you new my life it's already destroyed. Like I said it's a one off because the dealer lives hundreds of miles away. I need a break I can't drink because of my esophugus is damaged so this is a break . Nothing more. I know what heroin can do. Thanks anyway.

[E--- in reply to Dodo777]

Dodo777

I have total respect for you opening up to us all and hope you will be feeling better about things real soon because I'm not here to judge anyone or condemn actions - I am however - here for you ok . We all have darker days than others at points so don't feel there is no escape - I just hope you will be able to come through it soon xx

Love n hugs

From Elle 🌹

[Dodo777 in reply to E---]

Thanks I been doing good but I think going back to meditation this week it messes with your head but I will stick to it. Thank E----

[Hidden in reply to Dodo777]

Oh .... flush it away .... go to your GP and get some safe aids. It will worsen your anxiety, amongst other things. What about the next time you want to feel Care free ? Will you get more ? ... then more again ! ... downward spiral ! ... FLUSH IT .... I wish you all the luck and happiness. Please look after yourself.

[Dodo777 in reply to Hidden]

Yes I will get rid of it . I don't know what I was thinking. I been missing my boy and thought it would help what a Huge mistake. Thanks Heidi.

[Hidden in reply to Dodo777]

Sounds like you just hit a low point. Glad you got rid. Like that Guitar Setup ... my husband plays guitar ... wonderful hobby to have, we big music fans here. Please look after yourself, your boy needs you. Nothing stays the same, life turns corners all the time when we least expect it. Stay strong for your boy by looking after yourself.

[Dodo777 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks yea it's been tough my son going to prison for driving has got me more than I thought he keeps me busy now I just feel lost I thought mediation would help which it has but I think I was bottling instead of feeling. I get past it thanks Heidi.

[Dodo777]

I am scared of getting worse to feel care free if only for a short while. It's getting to me Agora. I am finding life real hard. I was reading about what isolation can do to you it's killing people. I would still rather be lonely than hang with back stabbed but it's hard not having company day in day out. This heroin I got can't be a regular thing because me and the dealer are like two ships passing in the night. I have a shringe but I ain t going to hit it up just smoke or snort and to be honest I am looking forward to it. It will be late at night I won't drive for 24 hours. The valium lately have been rubbish. They are not as strong as they once was I just need to chill cause I am going crazy . Cabin fever that's what's happening.

[Agora1]

Dodo my friend, I know it's difficult to be alone but heroin is not the answer for your loneliness. It is not just a one time visitor. rockster321 is right, it WILL destroy your life. I think you are trying to convince yourself that you will do it safely late at night and won't drive for 24 hours. That's not the issue. That is not the way to escape. You know that. You are an intelligent man. You are at a crossroad right now, PLEASE choose the right path for your own sake as well as your sons.

You may have just been caught up in the moment when you made the choice to buy, but now you have time to clearly thing about the consequences if you follow through this evening. Reach out for some help Dodo......

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

Ok let me think about it I am realizing stuff.

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

I'm gonna go out for a long drive and meditate for a long while perhaps I was a bit hasty it's just that feelifeeling when I seen people in the room I have no confidence in me I just wanted to go and fast I am lucky nobody talked to me cause I would of been worse.

[Agora1 in reply to Dodo777]

I understand, that fear in the room of people was overwhelming. You may have made a choice out of fear. I think that fact you shared this on the forum means you want help. It's a cry for help. I know you will make the right choice once you

clear your mind and think and mediate over what one decision tonite will do to the rest of your life. Be safe my friend. Stay wise.

[Hidden]

So one day u post telling us what to do with our lives in order to stay anxiety free....to the next day and ur buying 2 bags of heroin...glad your anxiety "cure" which you so egotistically lectured us on is working for you. NOT.

[Dodo777]

I had a big come down your right. I did feel great then nosed dived. But I'll get back up and start again. Sticking to meditation. Drugs I know ain't the answer. I feel foolish.