Derealization Depersonalization Help me please

[hannahxgbryant]

I got derealization from smoking laced weed a while ago and had it for a week thinking it was just being high. After that, i felt completely normal for a long time. Derealization came back when i moved to another state and had bad anxiety and more issues and stress. I learned what i had was not just "feeling like a bad high" it was derealization. I got waves of it at first but it gradually kept taking over more and more of my life making me suicidal and sad and wanting to die. I used to not be able to cope with it and just sleep and hope my life was all just a bad dream that i would wake up from. My life was and still is somewhat of a living hell. i know my brain went through a lot of trauma through a very bad trip on weed(might have been laced?) but i know my brain isn't forever fried. I just feel so alone and hurting. Ive never been suicidal until recently in my life and i'm so young and have so much life to live and i just made one mistake and i've paid the consequence more than i should have already. I pray to God a lot and he helps me but i often question if there is a god, why am i here, and very deep philosophy questions. Derealization makes u question if anything is real. It's the hardest thing i've ever known. I get depersonalization a lot and i don't know who i am and don't feel like i am me ever. Mental illness is hard. I tell people but they don't ever understand. I don't blame them... before i had this i didn't know how it felt anyways...

[hannahxgbryant]

did u have derealization and did u get better?

[Hidden]

I have marijuana-induced derealization. It probably wasn't laced. Weed just does that to some of us. I've had it for 5 years on and off at varying degrees

[Hidden]

Hi Hannah, no need to worry, you didn't fry your brain. This is a very common symptom of anxiety. Please don't ever consider suicide. You have a purpose in this life. God will help you. This is to grow your faith. He would never give you something you couldn't handle. He sees your true potential and while this would break others and it may feel like it's breaking you now, its sink or swim and you can swim. You're so much stronger than your irrational fear or thoughts make you feel. You are worth it and you are strong. Find that strength, you have it.

I understand your feelings of suicide, it's something I battled with very hard. I give thanks every day I'm still here, and for the gift of a new day.

[KrissNique]

I have this . One of the scariest , bizarre, weirdest, feelings that I ever felt in my ENTIRE life. I cry a whole lot. I don't know where mine came from. I did have a panic attack smoking weed a month before it started happening. Mine has gotten better but it still is lingering. I'm scared of my own thoughts. It makes me question a lot . About Life. which when you feel normal you may think about existence here and there but never to this extent. I often get so lost in my thought that I feel alone. Like the whole world doesn't exist and neither do I. It sucks soooo bad and very hard to explain to ppl who have never experienced it.

[Georgiaelizallen]

I know exactly where you are coming from sweet heart. My first time having weed I had my first experience with depersonalization/derealization its an EXTREMELY terrifying feeling. Feeling like you're in a dream and not in control of your own body - Like your souls drifting off. I hardly experience this now but I suffered with it a lot when I was younger. If I think about feeling that way, I instantly do but I'm not afraid of it anymore. Just keep on reminding yourself that you're fine, that it can't harm you. That you're alive and theres NOTHING for you to worry about. Its a weird feeling, I know but you're the one in control, not this, this cant and will not beat you x