Feel like I'd be better dead.

[Louis1994]

Hello fellow sufferers,

I'm sorry to introduce myself to this forum with such an awfully grim title, although unfortunately this is how I'm beginning to feel.

In my head I want to succeed in work, social aspects, and more. I am passionate about what I do and want to do it well. This inner me is conflicting with the physical body I belong in.

I'm a 22 year old male, not particularly active but in a healthy looking condition weight wise etc.

I have had anxiety issues since 15 years old beginning with my breathing, then to monitoring my heart, then a steady decline from there.

Today, I'm more relaxed in terms of accepting my anxiety in comparison to what I used to be like. The only issue is I feel that I can no longer work anymore due to my physical symptoms which are being brushed off as anxiety.

My doctor doesn't take me serious, the only thing I have gotten is a routine blood test and a ECG in the past (even though I've been on numerous occasions explaining my symptoms) I have to wait 3 weeks minimum to get an appointment and when I get one I'm rushed out the door!

I get very bad symptoms which effect my day to day quality of life immensely. I feel drunk for at least an hour at a time multiple times during each day. My vision is blurry and I can't seem to focus on anything. During this I feel like I can't compute conversation or listen properly as well as think of what to say because my brain goes so slow! As well as this I suffer from very bad chest pains which radiate to my shoulders and back. I feel extremely fatigued at all times and wake up struggling to get out of bed. I am always bloated after eating, I'm neasous all the time and also experience floaters in my vision as well as light sensitivity and electrical sensations in my head.

I experience these symptoms everyday which onsets my anxiety because they are so bad!

I can't help but feel I'm going to die at any point. I believe I have something physically wrong with me due to the severity of the symptoms and I'm surprised I haven't blacked out yet.

Trying to get through one day in work is absolute torture, I just feel like I'm stoned and dumb.

I can't help but feel I have a more serious condition and I don't understand how these symptoms aren't enough for my doctors to advise me straight for an MRI and further testing!

I know it's bad to think this way and look for a diagnosis etc, but my symptoms are just beyond a joke and I can't comprehend that it's anxiety because I feel that these problems trigger my anxiety.

I don't take medication and I'm a male. Can anyone help advise me or does anyone experience all these symptoms to?

I've had an eye test recently and everything is good with my eyes!

I'm sick of feeling so down because of my lack of clarity and energy. Everyday is just a task because of this sluggishness I never ever feel good or energetic help me

[Agora1]

Hi Louis1994, That is a grim title for your first post especially for a 22y.o. guy who is in the prime of his life. I know you don't feel like it but know that what you are describing sure sounds like Anxiety. I like the fact that you are an Achiever and want to succeed in the important things in your life. Unfortunately, you have a conflict going with your body and your mind. What happened at 15 that started the breathing and then heart focus issues? Whatever it was apparently made a deep impression on your brain. It probably wasn't addressed and so it continued to grow into what it is today. Totally controlling and taking over your quality of life. I know it seems as if doctors turn a deaf hear to our cries for help but believe me a lot of their diagnosis is made by looking at us and our vitals. Doing a MRI may relieve your worries but I'm sure if your doctor thought you warranted it, he could order it. It's not going to come up with anything to do with anxiety so once you would have that test or others and they keep proving negative, you will still have the doubts that you are truly ill.

The thing about anxiety are the negative thoughts it gives us everyday until finally we start to believe we are sick and it zaps our energy. Once that happens, we sometimes retreat to our bed and the power of the mind takes over making us start to act sickly.

Sometimes a little help to get you over this interruption in your life is needed with some medication for a short time as well as therapy. 7 years of anxiety building up in your life needs to be addressed. The root of when this all started needs to be talked about so that you can let go of the fear, accept that this is anxiety and move forward in your life. The worse mistake you can make right now is not working, not starting on therapy and maybe a little medication because then you will be stuck in this time warp of feeling hopeless and helpless.

Feeling like you would be better off dead is not an option. Anxiety isn't a life sentence or a catastrophic disease. Anxiety and it's symptoms aren't futile. With the right tools you will be able to go forward and heal. First you have to believe that it is anxiety and not keep spending your time searching and searching for something more dire. Once you come to the conclusion that this is an anxiety issue then you can learn to accept it and not fight the symptoms holding you down.

With this new outlook, you will start to ignore and float pass any negative thoughts or sensations that your mind throws your way. Taking small steps will bring you to your goal and that is to be anxiety free and become the man you want to be. Keep using the forum as your support system while working with your doctor and his guidance. We are here for each other. With understanding and caring. Agora1

[Hardluck]

I can definitely sympathize with your pain and suffering. For me anxiety/depression as always manifested itself in the physical sense. I'm 42 and have been in your predicament for about 16 years. Dizziness, lightheadedness, heart palpitations, insomnia, headaches were my initial symptoms 16 years ago. As time progressed unfortunately things have gotten worse, now I can include numbness, tingling, burning sensations in my hands feet and legs, also my lips and my tongue. Visual disturbances especially out of my right eye, trouble concentrating, cognitive problems, difficulty finding the right words, Weight loss weight gain, Extreme fatigue, trembling and shaking.

Frequent urination. No medication has ever been of assistance, amitriptyline noratriptyline, Prozac, Effexor Lyrica, Cymbalta, Lexapro, Celexa ,busbar just to name a few. Only Clonazepam has helped somewhat. I've had a brain MRI cervical spine MRI, also a EMG. All clear. I often do think that something is organically wrong with me. Some sort of neurological disorder or perhaps something autoimmune.