My Parents split up a few years ago and that's always been hard but everything seems to be getting worse. I still laugh and act happy during the day but I come home, go to my room or somewhere where I'm alone and just start crying. I'm also playing soccer and I used to love it but now thinking about it makes me feel sick and during practice it's all I can do to not cry. I go through waves of self hate but they aren't consistent and though I've thought about suicide I wouldn't ever act on it. I just hate the thought of getting up in the morning.