"When I was younger, I would tell people proudly that one of my strong points was that I would never get mad.
“Have I ever been angry?” I would ask, knowing full well my reputation for being mellow. However, as time went on, I began to lose track of what being nice really meant.
When faced with challenges or confrontations with other people, I would automatically act nice, without actually feeling that way. It was as if I was set to automatic, where by habit, I was agreeable. However, on the inside, I felt depressed and anxious whenever someone did something I did not agree with.
Despite feeling sad, I did not give myself an outlet to communicate my opinions, and this finally came to a climax when I was unable to truly voice my thoughts during my four-year relationship.
For me, being agreeable had transformed into something ugly and submissive, where at times I did not recognize myself. During arguments, I would attempt to be accommodating; however, when alone, I was caught up in self-pity and resentment".
This is an exerpt from the following site.
It goes on to recommend tow books. One is "Born to Win" by Muriel James and Dorothy Jangeward. Another is "don't sweat the small stuff" by Richard Carlson.
I am starting to realise that for myself my problems of anxiety and depression (think it is both with me) lie in the way my personality has developed to be over accomodating to people and overly adaptive. I know I have posted about this before but I am even more certain now and am wondering if there are others out there who may see some of themselves in this. Just thought I would post up (put it on both sites as I am never quite sure which site I fit into, if either) but this is the nearest I can get to explain to myself how I get to feel how I feel. Hope it is helpful to someone.
The books are quite cheap; the one is only £4.50 to download onto Kindle.
Please ignore if its of no relevance but if it can help one person then it is worth me posting. I am a genuine poster by the way. Been on this site for about 4 months but normally post of depression alliance. I think my depression comes about through anxiety in the way that is mentioned in these books which is why I have posted this.