Am I Just Me?

[VaultBoy]

Hello,

I haven't been here in a while... I'm under the impression i'm in the right place.

My symptoms:

- Slow slight feeling of sinking into the floor that lasts a second or two.

- I sometimes sit and do nothing. Other times I feel like I'm sitting 10 feet away watching myself... waiting... while my body waits. It's like astral projection.

- Tiredness and falling asleep.

- A stabbing feeling in my chest only when I'm really feeling down or if I go down the thought pattern of this girl I really like but I'll never be with.

- I sometimes forget things and my housemate tells me I do this often.

- I usually spend my time in the house. However I have tried to break that and go out more often.

- I have the occasional strange feeling that something is really wrong... That someone is hurt, dead or dying.

- Some part of me feels so alone that I feel like a split personality is a good thing... Like I want to talk to someone who sees me eye to eye.

- A new symptom is that I began to notice about a month or so ago is that out the corner of my right eye a black blemish that really had no form was present. When I turn to that direction nothing is there. Only in the past few days has this shadow manifested into something like a human... It doesn't move and has no distinguishing features its just black like the void of space.

Is there anyone out there in a similar way to me?

I've probably missed some stuff but I'll update my post again at some point. It's 1am.

[rosesRred34]

Sounds like anxiety for sure. Have u ever been seen by a doctor for any of your symptoms?

[VaultBoy in reply to rosesRred34]

No. Not yet. It's been happening for some time now. Ill book for next week or week after. Work gets In the way

[Hidden]

Hi it sounds like you are dealing with depression.

And maybe just by your "eye problem" one the dark mass poor diet?? Are you eating regularly I used to get this when I wasn't eating right.

There's another health board Action on Depression.

That has helped me before.

Your chest pain does sound like anxiety.

Hope you get to feeling better

Yaz

[VaultBoy in reply to Hidden]

I just had a though about the eye thing... I'm wondering if I'm seeing me or want to see me... Or is it something entirely different?

I used to be a prolific energy drink, fast food and sweets consumer. I changed that about 5 months ago when I decided to kick that addiction. It was gradual but as I faded off one I faded onto another more healthier diet. Maybe my body and mind is freaking out now that I'm almost totally health food.

[Hidden in reply to VaultBoy]

Hey

It could be you looking at yourself. Or the transition of your body adjusting to the new diet.

It's good to put things in perspective helps your mind get past anxiety

[snow-13]

Dis association - my sister has it. Sounds exactly like her. She went to mindfulness classes and for the first time in years actually learned to see things differently. My sister also was very forgetful. I can't believe how much you sound like the way she was. She is better but needed help. The classes for mindfulness were brilliant for her. Teaches you to stop the pattern of negative thinking. If you can see your GP ask if any in your area. She often thought something wrong or really bad, it is all linked into the disassociation with depression mixed in x x Really try get some help, it is something that can change. I have seen it with my own eyes. My sister was really really bad with it and ended up thinking she was going mad. Get help soon as x Keep in touch x

[VaultBoy in reply to snow-13]

I see how me and your sister have similarities. It's been an irritation for months and I'm starting to get fed up of it which is only going to push me further down.

[snow-13]

I really believe that after watching everything my sister has come through, I was so strong for her and helped her every step of the way. Years of getting over attempted suicide 3 times - i was there and picked her up. Everything from feeding her to cleaning and organising her bills etc. It has been like a bolt of lightening that i have become very anxious with horrible symptoms. I stare out the window all day, i loved the outside, everything about outside was me, now i don't want to face it. I attended all the meetings with my sister, looked after her 2 children and my own, as her relationship broke down i also supported her partner best i could as it was a sad time. Helped my parents with everything from gas bills to teaching them mobile phone language. I had endless energy - now useless!!! Ended up having operation on my leg due to now resting enough and it ruptured so left chronic pain and now the anxiety!! The pain i can understand but whatever goes on in my head - scares me. Makes me very sad today, other days i feel more positive but it is like the anxious man is waiting just right behind or two steps in front. people were everything to me - if i could help I was there 100%, now am sometimes not liking the people i once loved. Scarey. I can't do the things for them now so somehow am no use anymore. My older sister is 46 years old and even today I am expected to call to get her up!! She has made vast improvements but the whole day sleeping thing never really changed. Can someone give me a little boost of hope. Feeling very down today. Sorry everyone it is a bit long and all over the place .

[Stilltrying_]

Hi Snow -13 is sounds like you have had the very difficult and distressing job of supporting your sister and now feel emotionally drained and exhausted and maybe a bit pushed aside as well now all the hard work has been done.

I can relate to supporting people and having little energy left for myself; I think you need to look into self care and doing things that you like doing, fun things and stuff like that. It is a good thing to care for other people but self care is important along with it.

I hope tomorrow is a bit brighter and you feel a bit stronger. Gemmalouise xx

[MedStudent1]

This condition is called Depersonalisation.