Post-Breakup Anxieties

[Jess6954]

Hey everyone! I am new to this website and I'm not quite sure how this all works, but I am really struggling with something so here goes!

I was in a relationship with a guy about a year ago. The relationship was very passionate and moved very fast! We were only in a relationship for 4 months, but we felt like we had known each other for years when we first met. I am 23 and also lost my virginity to him which I decided was not the best decision because I had always wanted to wait, this of course did not sit so great with him. Soon after his struggle with depression and drinking took off and made things very difficult for us. The breakup was very hard, neither of us wanted it and we both tried to make it work. After a LOT of talking and needing to make some very hard decisions we did eventually call it quits.

This is my problem: After our break up (a year ago) I didn't date for almost 4 months. When I did start dating it was okay, but something just didn't feel right. I was anxious on dates and if I didn't feel the same physical attraction toward my date that I felt with my ex, it was like they repulsed me. I've dated about 4 different guys now and a couple of them for about 2 months, but it just never felt "right". I am currently dating this guy right now and he is perfect for me on paper and I do like him, but I have run into the same roadblock. I get this anxious feeling when I'm around him, but only sometimes. When I am not with him I get so worried about our relationship. I am not worried about anything specific, just a general fear creeps over me. He is also okay with my decision of wanting to wait to sleep together, but if we mess around in any other way, I get filled with anxiety, like I have PTSD from my ex pretty much ending our relationship over me not wanting to continue sleeping together.

How do I get over this? I feel like it's never going to end because this is the 4th guy I have dated and I still get these same feelings every single time!

Sorry this post was so long, but any advice is much appreciated! Thank you!

[kevoreally]

most likely you are still affected by your past relationship which means take time off from dating or seing other men because its only hurting you and worrying you.. focus on your future let a relationship come to you naturally buddha says that you should not feel nervous or a butterfly sensation in your stomach when it comes to the "one" and if you ever found your soul mate they will always find their way back to each other. We very well could meet soulmates early on but things dont work out at that time and so things change but later down the road it reconnects.. idk if this make sense but i hope does

[Agora1 in reply to kevoreally]

I believe in that too kevoreally...good advice