Night time

[Peacewithin1]

Well the night time anxiety is back at it again. Racing thoughts, weird sensations and shaking feeling like I'm slipping away. I lost a friend Friday. He was in his 70's and homeless. I used to always feed him, talk with him and just do what I can. Sometimes I would pay for hotel rooms for him to sleep and just relax so he can be alone and enjoy a good shower. I used to buy him clothes because he had a bit of an odor and would soil his clothes. But he is no longer suffering, it's very hard to believe. I met him when I was 12 and he would call me his granddaughter until this day. Sad to see him go and now I'm in panic overdrive.

[kama24]

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. How very kind you were to him. It must have been comforting for him to know someone did care. Would it help if you played soft music when the panic is engulfing you, or have you ever tried the adult colouring books? When I hear about or when I am alone at night and feel panic starting to embrace me I think of "sun downing". Normally it is in older people but I think it can happen to anyone given their situation. Do you have someone to talk to? I do hope your night improves and you can find some calm.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to kama24]

Thank You. I was reading to help me at night but I have to get new books from the library tomorrow, I haven't had the time to get there. He was very kind to me as well, I was just returning the favor. Thank You for the suggestions. Maybe soft music will help. How have you been?

[kama24 in reply to Peacewithin1]

As you can remember, I had a horrible withdrawal from Paxil and 1 yr and 9 months of nausea 24/7 In July I woke one morning with NO nausea I am now on day 41 and have no explanation as to what has happened. If anyone should know it would be me. Frankly it just feels like a miracle. I pray it continues. I do however have a mind that continually thinks about death....such a waste of life to dwell on something we cannot control, and no idea when it will happen. I should enjoy each day as it comes but that old fear just won't let go.....I often ponder why some call it "anxiety" I don't, I call it FEAR. Anxiety to me is a mild to moderate "worry" like if you had to make a speech, or write an exam, or worry about money. Fear is all engulfing.....at times it feels like tiny electric shocks, or a cold bucket of ice water was just dumped over me....then the what ifs.....my husband always counters with "what if that doesn't happen"...how true but try to tell your brain to think positive....easier said than done. Would doing a jig saw puzzle or crossword puzzle help. In CBT class they stressed trying to keep our mind occupied....again easier said than done!

[Peacewithin1 in reply to kama24]

I am so happy to hear that nausea is gone!!! I can relate with the fear and constant thoughts of death every day all day. I saw my therapist today and she said for me to remind myself how I'm not really living by having the constant thoughts.

[kama24 in reply to Peacewithin1]

I have one friend who constantly tells me that I am wasting days worrying about something that may or may not happen, and "oh look....here I am years later & still waiting & worrying". It is very easy for a person who does not have panic disorder to think rationally and tell us that, BUT our minds don't listen!!! I often say "do you think I really WANT to be like this?". When you think about it though, it does seem like it should be so simple to say to yourself "here I am 5, 10, 15 yrs later and still worrying and nothing has happened"...... then my mind would say "well now I'm older so it could!". In a way it's a sad state of affairs. Do keep us posted.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to kama24]

So very true! Nothing has happened and then we get freaked out even more lol

[kama24 in reply to Peacewithin1]

I've not been bad most of today, even went out alone this morning to deliver a kitten to a new home (I do volunteer work with an animal rescue). That was this morning, it is now 5:30pm. I happened to let my mind think about "when my time does come" and I could feel it just go out of control, FEAR...because I know it WILL happen one day......yet why am I thinking of it right now? The mind is so powerful.....how and why do we let it over take us?

[blackcat64013]

Hi Tanae,

What a lucky person your friend was to have you in his life. It's natural to think about the person who has left us for some time.

There is a point where night time anxiety begins to interfere with the quality of sleep. If you have more than 3-4 nights of anxiety interrupted sleep, you will need to take something, either over the counter natural remedy or ask your doctor for a prescription medication. You could also try guided meditation which is available for download on You Tube.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank You so much! And I will look up guided meditation on YouTube until I can get new books, that has helped me in the past.

[Hidden]

Aww, u did such a wonderful thing for your friend. How u must have made a difference in his life. It's understandable why you would feel the way you do. It's all part of loss. You do what you need to do to take care of yourself at this crucial time. And remember what a difference you made in his life. You are a very loving and caring person and I hope you keep that in mind. U have my support.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank You very much! He was a good guy, everything happens for a reason. Me and My family are blessed to have crossed paths with Him. Thank You 😊

[Hidden in reply to Peacewithin1]

I agree things happen for a reason!

[dman0618]

Hey, I'm really sorry for your loss. You should still feel proud of yourself for helping this guy on his last days, must have comforted him a lot. I think for most of us the "night" anxiety comes from not-very-positive reflections of our lives. You went through something tough today and it is completely understandable to be in pain. But eventually most pains go away with time. If you are scared because you feel alone, i'm pretty sure someone like you who does all these sweet gestures is more than likely to have many people that care for you too.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to dman0618]

Thank You very much! And you're absolutely right about having people that care. Sometimes I don't want to worry them. I know it sounds crazy lol.

[Hidden in reply to dman0618]

Very nice reply! Summed it all up!

[menagerie11]

You have been very kind and caring to this man and I have no doubts that he was deeply appreciative of your concern. Losing someone is always very stressful. Not only do we lose the person, the part of ourselves that has been a caregiver to that person is gone, too. It's not surprising that you are experiencing an increase in anxiety. You might want to consider grief counselling. Many palliative care associations offer grief support/counselling at no cost through trained volunteers.

[Peacewithin1 in reply to menagerie11]

So true. I have to bring this up to my psychologist. Thank You

[kama24]

Have you heard of "Box Breathing". I just read about it and am going to give it a try. I have never had success with deep breathing as I always hyperventilate! This is a bit different.

What is box breathing?

Like the four corners of a square, box breathing requires only four steps, each of which requires participants to count to four.

To try box breathing, a person should get into a comfortable position that makes it easy to breathe freely. They should then follow these steps:

Breathe in through the nose while counting to four. Continue inhaling for the entire 4 seconds. The breath should be slow and steady.

Hold the breath in the lungs for another count of four.

Exhale through the mouth while counting to four. As with the inhale, the exhale should be slow and steady.

Continue repeating this pattern for 4 minutes.