You can never recover from an illness you don't have.

[Jeff1943]

We all do it, we're all guilty, myself included and I'm old enough to know better. We know we've got anxiety disorder but we still worry that some ache or pain is the harbinger of heart disease, cancer or some other serious physical illness. So we consult Doc Google who sometimes brings reassurance but more often confirms our worst fears and then some. We may even go see our doctor who sends us for tests. But even when the results come back negative we're still not totally convinced. Even though all along we really know it's anxiety disorder, if you're in any doubt you only have to look at what this forum is called, the clue is in the title.

The problem is it's all wasted time an energy: reading up and accessing medical assistance for something we haven't got. Because you can never recover from an illness you don't have. Instead we should put that effort into recovering from the illness we do have, the one that begins with the letter A.

When our nervous system becomes over sensitised through too much worry, stress, over work or disappointment it multiplies normal concerns ten-fold. That's why we fear the worst and some people end up obsessed that their death is imminent.

Even when we accept that the problem is anxiety and are prescribed medications to bring relief many people have an exaggerated fear of the side effects or becoming addicted and won't take the meds. Nobody wants to rely on medications to feel normal but they can provide much needed temporary relief which is important if you've got family or job responsibilities to consider. Any side effects are minimal compared with mental suffering and nobody should become addicted so long as coming off them is slowly tapered over time.

So I say that medications have a part to play in recovery and don't deserve to be demonised. The breathing space meds give should be used to look into self help methods for recovery from anxiety disorder and the secondary depression that sometimes comes out of the anxiety. Merely listing one's latest symptoms on this forum is never going to exorcise the beast and neither is just waiting for some spontaneous recovery.

Self-help for recovery means reading up on how we get anxiety and how to overcome it, there are scores of good books out there waiting to be discovered. They can bring reassurance, understanding and courses of action that can lead to full recovery. But many people feel they haven't got the time or concentration to read a book on the subject, though they'll willingly spend hours Googling illnesses they don't have.

The book I always recommend is 'Self help with your nerves' written years ago by Claire Weekes who was first to develop and advocate the Acceptance method that has proved so successful.

So it's important to stay focussed on overcoming the illness we do have and doing something positive about it and leave worry about the illnesses we don't have to the hypochondriacs.

[Hidden]

Jeff, l dont fear my death, but fear everyone elses. I have a fear of being left on my own. This makes me have bad anxiety.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Hidden]

You won't be left on your own, Pauline, I don't believe there's any chance of that. You have family, you even have a grandchild who no doubt will feature large in your life. And at whatever stage in life we all have the ability to find new friends. So don't be anxious about some future scenario that is never going to happen. I know you have problems at the moment but with time everything will work out fine.

[Hidden in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks Jeff. Its one of those fears that you have from childhood and follows you into adult life. I never dreamt that life would turn out like this. But lm very heathy and have no right to feel sorry for myself. The Sertaline seems to be working really well. I have times when l wake up shaking and my mind works overtime, but lm getting used to ignoring it all. It takes practise. Its all so odd dealing with your own brain like a naughty child lol. How are you now Jeff?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Jeff, is anything good happening in the world? Everything is so depressing. Perhaps life should be like this, and we've had the good times and now they've gone. Perhaps forever? Should we just hold on to memories of good times, but then its hard to move on?

[20Voices]

Jeff, I agree with you that the medication is there to help you feel well enough to find and develop the techniques you need to control your stress and anxieties. I have spent time researching anxiety and depression and then learning various techniques to help myself. I am still trying new techniques to see which ones I feel I gain the most out of. I have tried to come off my tablets twice, but am still on them. I hope to be able to try again in the New Year to come off them.

I am going to see if my library has a copy of the book you have mentioned.

Thanks for the post

[Jeff1943]

20Voices, I think you will find Claire Weekes' book 'Self help with your nerves' most helpful in understanding how anxiety works and what we need to do to recover - no matter how long or how badly we have suffered. It will bring reassurance and a clear method to follow to regain the quiet mind. If your library doesn't have it you'll find it available on Amazon where they even have used copies for a couple of pounds. I hope you find it useful.

[Usagold]

It did me good to read your post, Jeff. I've been having panic attacks almost every night for a couple of months, but do ok in the daytime other than exhaustion. Tonight, I was trying to sweep the floor, felt sick at my stomach, heart started skipping, had to lie down, and was just thinking again, "I just don't think this is anxiety. Surely something else is wrong. I know the anxiety component is there, and I've had anxiety off & on for years, but... I feel so...so wrong, maybe I should go back to the doctor." Maybe you're right. Maybe I need to accept once and for all that this IS anxiety, maybe it CAN make you feel this bad. Do you just step out on faith (along with the evidence you do have), and believe and behave as if that's what it is? It's common for anxious people to think they have something else, isn't it?

[Jeff1943]

Usagold, it's only right to get the reassurance of seeing your doctor, going for tests if recommended, to make certain the symptoms aren't physical or organic. But once you've got the answer that there's nothing wrong physically we should accept that finding and recognise that all our symptoms are due to over sensitisation of our nervous system and believe me the power of sensitised nerves to mirror organic illness should never be under estimated.

[Thet1028]

Very well said... Im certified health anxiety sufferer and i think im going crazy...

[Jeff1943]

No you're not, Thet1028, anxiety does not have the power to send you crazy only the power to think you're going crazy. Big difference. Strange thoughts cannot hurt you so long as you don't act on them but accept them. May I draw your attention to the Claire Weekes book mentioned above, she mentions the problem of strange thoughts. If you've already read it, read it again.

Thet1028, if you feel your anxiety is overwhelming you must talk to your doctor as a matter of urgency. Anti anxiety meds are there to help us if things become that bad, forget all the talk about side effects and addiction, and if you're on meds and they don't work or aren't right for you go back and ask for an alternative.

Either way, don't forget the book. You will not feel like this forever, live for the day when the bad feelings have lifted. I wish you calmer times and soon.

[Sammydoo87]

I sometimes feel like I get the symptoms first and anxiety second.... I am obsessive and controlling by nature hahah and I love reasons why. When I was pregnant I had no anxiety but I believe it was because I had a reason "why" things were happening... if I don't have a reason why I freak out? Does this make sense?

[Jeff1943 in reply to Sammydoo87]

You can always find a 'reason why' if you look for it, there are just so many choices, take your pick, enough to keep you going for a lifetime.

[Sammydoo87 in reply to Jeff1943]

So what's your advice? To let it go?

[Jeff1943]

Symptoms are a result of anxiety even if we don't feel the underlying anxiety. There is only one 'reason why' we experience general anxiety and symptoms and that's because our nervous system has become temporarily over-sensitised by too much stress, overwork, strain, worry and/or disappointment. This may be what starts the ball rolling but after a while the symptoms cause fear which causes more symptoms which causes more fear etc and it's the fear of the symptoms that continues to keep our nervous system over-sensitised - until we break the vicious fear-symptoms-fear circle by acceptance. I don't know if this is any answer to your question.

[p57rosie]

Jeff, I'm curious, you keep siting Claire Weekes book, (which I have read over and over and carry in my purse)...are you a relative or someone who gets paid to promote her book? What is your experience with anxiety and panic attacks? Just curious

[Jeff1943 in reply to p57rosie]

I advocate the Acceptance method of Doctor Claire Weeks for recovery from anxiety disorder in the hope that it may benefit others as it has benefited me. I have NO connection with Claire Weekes' family and I have NO financial interest whatsoever in the sale of her books.

[p57rosie]

Thanks for your reply jeff. how long did you have anxiety and how long did it take for you to recover via claire weekes methods? Did you have the 'physical' symptoms of anxiety (jelly legs, weakness, dizziness, heart skipping, palpatations, etc., etc.,) Of the claire weekes' methods, What worked for you?

[Jeff1943 in reply to p57rosie]

Rosie, my period of anxiety began in 1974 when I had my first and only panic attack. My anxiety symptoms were health anxiety about my vision and mild derealisation though that term was unknow then. I never felt dizziness or jelly legs or palpitations or anything like that. My eyes were sensitive to light and my normal worries were exaggerated ten fold which is what sensitised nerves do to us.

My mother experienced anxiety and had Claire Weekes first two books which I read so quite early on I realised what was happening to me and understood how acceptance brings recovery.

So I began to practice acceptance and floating and letting time pass which are the essence of her method and I was also taking diazepam which doctors handed out like Smarties in those days. I suppose it took a year before I was fully recovered but I never took any time off work and continued to provide for my family in every way.

That doesn't mean it will take you a year to recover if you persistantly practiced Acceptance. Everybody is different and only a fool would try and predict how long recovery takes. Claire Weekes advise 'Let time pass' ie don't try and put a deadline on your recovery.

My anxiety runs in the family and 20+ years later it returned and I control it with mild medication when really needed and using relaxation and acceptance techniques. These days I only feel anxiety when on holiday or some big social event is on but I don't avoid those situations. Today for example the pressures of Christmas caused me to have whats called a scintillating scotomata: a visual disturbance where a zig zag pattern knocks out part of your field of vision for exactly 20 minutes. But I have these episodes about 3 times a year, I know they are harmlesd and will pass in exactly 20 minutes so I FEEL NO FEAR and because of that I don't flood my nervous system with fear hormones.

[Jodz]

I have a massive fear of dying . Every day I say to myself will I have a heart attack today or a stroke . Just can’t stop the thoughts 💭 😔

[Jeff1943 in reply to Jodz]

Jodz, please read my reply to Rosie above - you too appear to have ultra sensitised your nervous system with anxiety caused by too much worry, over work, stress and maybe disappointment. Sensitised nerves can trick you with many symptoms and in your case they are exaggerating the natural concern not to die before our time by a factor if ten. So what should be a normal concern becomes magnified into an overwhelming sense of doom and imminent death.

You should go see your doctor for reassurance about your heart and the liklihood of stroke but I think you will find these troubling thoughts are just anxiety whispering in your ear. Now you know the reason for these worrying obsessions and understand you are not going to die or have a heart attack or a stroke then the best course is to Accept the bad feelings for the time being calmly and with the minimum of fear so allowing your sensitised nervous system to recover. This feeling of imminent death is very common, you are one of many but with self help and acceptance and the help of your doctor you will recover and regain your life.

[Jodz in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanx Jeff1943. I’m a complete worrier have been since a child but those days Mum and Dad didn’t know it was anxiety . I lost my mum 3 years ago to a massive stroke at 87 yo . And my father is 88 and is in constant AF and I’m absolutely scared to death of him going the same way as Mum as she was in AF as well. I’m also worrying I will get that as well due to it being hereditary. So it’s just a viscous circle . I know we all die but I just can’t handle it . My niece on the 13 June 2017 commuted suicide and I’m still very much grieving that .

[Jeff1943 in reply to Jodz]

Your parents have lived to a good age and death at that age is normal and not a tragedy. You must accept that as being the way of the world.

Because your parents had certain medical problems does not mean that you must inevitably inherit them, if that was the case the human race would have died out centuries ago.

The death of your niece by her own hand is very upsetting but life must go on, you must continue to strive towards your personal goals and enjoy life's pleasures along the way.

Constantly fearing death is no way to live, as they say: the brave man dies once, the coward a thousand times. I recommend only dying once.

[Jodz in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanx Jeff great words . And yes I only want to die once 😊👍

[Lvictoria81]

Hi Jeff,

Maybe you can ease my mind. How is it I was doing great for almost 2 months and then me and my boyfriend get into an argument and my anxiety comes back full steam ahead? This time with different symptoms. My tongue feels weird, my chest I can't breathe, and now it feels like when I talk it feels weird. My anxiety is only pun pointed to my throat. Why? I was doing so good!!!!!! Please help me.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Lvictoria81]

Hi Victoria, I think the answer to your question is that although you felt fine for 2 months your nerves never fully recovered and the argument with your bf reactivated the sensitivity of your nerves.

The right thing to do during a relapse is the thing that many thousands of people have done for the past 40 years ie to just accept the new symptoms of anxiety for the time being and not to pay undue attention to the strange feelings in your mouth and throat. Don't stress and obsess about them, they are just tricks your mind plays on you and are very common i.e. the feeling of breathlessness, something in your throat etc. You won"t have to search very far through other peoples' postings to find them mentioned.

For reassurance do see your doctor and if he confirms it's anxiety as both you and I believe he will then once again I recommend you Accept these symptoms for the time being and stop flooding your nervous system with the fear hormone on which agitated nervous systems thrive. Once again I recommend the Claire Weekes' self help book mentioned above and if you've already read it then I say read it again and again until you have drummed into yourself the practice of Acceptance.

[Lvictoria81 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you. It makes sense now why it reactivated. I didn't fully read the book because I've so busy but I will start up again. It's all new feelings which is so off. It doesn't feel like anything is stuck in my throat it just hurts. I guess from the surgery still and the anxiety tightening the muscles. But this tongue sensation I'll tell you. I just wanna cut it out.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Lvictoria81]

Just accept that your anxiety has decided to make itself felt in your tongue but as your anxiety and the sensitivity of your nerves lessen your tongue will return to normal. Just accept it feels funny for the moment and try to co-exist with it and in time the day will come when you say to yourself: "Hey, my tongue's feeling o.k., I wonder how long it's been that way, I haven't been raking too much notice of it recently!"

[Lvictoria81 in reply to Jeff1943]

But here's the question how do u stop paying attention to it? That's my main problem I focus on my pains or weird feelings constantly. I can't not think of them. Its exhausting. Watching a movie I focus on it everything I do ugh

[Jeff1943 in reply to Lvictoria81]

That is the struggle you must now engage in, you know what you need to do so now you must go ahead and practice. Perhaps when you have reread Claire Weekes' book you will have a clearer idea, she is a much greater teacher than I could ever hope to be.

[Lvictoria81 in reply to Jeff1943]

Ok thank you so much.

[Jodz]

Thanx heaps Jeff great words x😊

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Jeff I love reading your posts. Your words flow like melodies. The simplicity in which you word things brings so much clarity! You truly are a God send!