Many people have found respite and recovery by reading self help books like 'DARE' and 'Self help for your nerves'. I'm only familiar with the latter but I remember the huge sense of relief from the understanding and reassurance that Claire Weekes' first book gave me.
Many people here have praised the book and found it helpful. But it's a common mistake to believe that because you now understand anxiety disorder and Weekes' acceptance method your recovery is imminant. The relief felt just by reading the book can all too easily be mistaken for confirmation of that hope.
If only it was that easy. That and other self-help books are not cures in themselves: we have to put what is learnt from the book into practice - and keep practicing things like acceptance and floating. It can take weeks, maybe many weeks, before you reap the full reward of recovery by persistant effort. You probably spent months getting yourself into this state so why not allow a few weeks to recover?
Nothing worthwhile in life is easily won. Nothing so important as recovery is handed to us on a plate.
Written by
Jeff1943
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
34 Replies
•
Hi Jeff1943,You always seem to know the right thing to say! I love your words of wisdom. x
Flip the whole thing on its head. Those physical symptoms, the intrusive thoughts, the weird feelings you have is all negative energy that needs....no wait...wants to be released. It wants to be rid of you as much as you want to be rid of it. The trouble is, sufferers take all sorts of evasive action to try to stop themselves feeling the symptoms so that the energy cannot be released and stays trapped within only for it to come up again and again until it is released. This is why complete surrender to the symptoms (instead of fighting them) leads to recovery because the sufferer is allowing all that negative energy to be released and not keeping a lid on it and/or adding to it. Even when fully allowing or accepting, it may still take a while until all the energy is released, and for the mind and body to find peace which is what will happen.
Those following the path of least resistance may already have glimpsed moments of peace. Have no doubt but these are the seeds of recovery which will germinate and grow into complete freedom of inappropriate anxiety and all of the symptoms that go with it. Let yourself think and feel everything and oppose none of it. Don’t be fooled by the false messages created by the anxiety state and let it all go. Moving forward in life while doing nothing about the symptoms works a treat.
Like many people here I find your comments very encouraging. I listen to Claire Weekes’ CDs almost every time when I drive. I hear that I need to be floating and accepting but I think in reality I fall into the trap of doing the opposite: watching for my symptoms and feeding into anxiety. I also feel that sometimes the more I read about it or look the symptoms up the more I concentrate on them. It seems to be a loop: when at work I can’t wait for holidays, thinking of how I would last until then. When on holidays, such as now, I seem to spend the time on brooding rather than relaxing and stress myself out by thinking that there are only so many weeks, then days left before I go back to work, and how am I going to cope etc.
I have had anxiety on and off for many years. When it is off, it just seems to switch itself off. Last year it has escalated more than ever as I was on thyroid medication for hyper thyroid. As part of treatment the medication has stopped recently to see if the thyroid can work on its own.
I have also noticed over the years that when I stop going to the gym the symptoms of anxiety increase and vice versa. So I’ve gone back to just 30 min in the gym and a yoga class a few times a week.
I know I have to try and reverse my symptoms’ watching (dizziness) and stop pushing the time forward, trying to enjoy the day. Even in this hot weather I have found it quite relaxing, especially in the evenings, just sitting in the garden and looking at the plants or bees passing by. I think mindfulness is very helpful as it keeps you in present.
Amade, I believe that thyroid problems can cause anxiety so it could be worthwhile discussing this with your doctor. But no doubt you already knew that.
Accepting and floating are the best tools I have come across for regaining peace of mind and tranquility. It's not instant but it has worked for so many.
You say you check your symptoms too often. We've all done that. But your symptoms are fake anyway, they are tricks that tired nerves play on us and they depart when the central cause of anxiety is eventually overcome. So don't give your symptoms the attention they don't deserve. You can't practice acceptance and floating if you didn't have symptoms.
On holiday live for the day, enjoy the now, so you'll be back at work next week but that's days away. Don't invite work to come along on holiday with you.
Dizziness is a very common symptom of anxiety but it won't make you fall over. Accept it for the time being and float though it. I wish you well.
Thank you so much, Jeff. My Endo does not believe that my anxiety/dizziness/intrusive thoughts were escalated by thyroid. His “proof” is that my blood test from 3 weeks ago was in the range for thyroid. When I asked him why was it that I still had some dizziness although much less than before, he said it was nothing to do with thyroid and wanted to send me to a neurologist.
I think that my hormones are still out of sinc even though the thyroid meds have finished a month ago, and with me being prone to anxiety, these are the anxiety symptoms I am experiencing. I have also noticed that if I don’t eat on time I feel worse; things improve after I have eaten.
What do you think of the technique where one deliberately tries to increase the symptoms, such as trying to feel more dizzy? At the moment I just keep myself active physically. When an intrusive thought comes in, I visualise putting it on a small boat and pushing down the stream. If there is a way for us to scare ourselves with a vivid imagination, there must be a similar way out!
Thank you once again for all your help. I wish you well.
Armade, I am not competant to comment on the method you describe, such as deliberately making yourself dizzy to help recover from it.
The only method I understand is the one I keep banging on about: the Acceptance method outlined by Claire Weekes in her first book 'Self help for your nerves' also published as 'Hope and help for your nerves'. So I would advise that you practice accepting all the symptoms for the time being: if you put them on little boats and float them away you are not accepting them you are trying to avoid them.
You must learn to coexist with the symptoms as an unwelcome guest and just get on with your life. So if you're crossing the room and you feel dizzy just remember it's a fake symptom not one of serious physical importance. That being so do not add second fear to the flash of first fear and in doing so smile and say inwardly: "That's another little victory on the road to recovery, I didn't generate a load more fear hormone to feed my over sensitised nervous system. Soon the sensitivity will fade away through lack of sustenance and my anxiety will shortly follow it to the door marked Exit."
Of course you cannot do this if you are packing your symptoms off on little cruises, no, you want them to be close to you so you can practice accepting them for the moment and floating on yhrough your day despite them.
Claire Weekes explains it far more cogently than I do.
What I am saying, Amade, is that putting symptoms like dizziness and intrusive thoughts in boats and symbolically floating them away is the opposite of Acceptance. Instead of mentally trying to push the symptoms away we recover by accepting them to the point that it no longer matters whether you feel the symptoms or not. That is the point at which you lose your fear and it is fear that is causing our nerves to remain over sensitised.
This method which is the opposite of our normal reactions which is to try to push the bad feelings away. We have to make straight for the symptoms and pass through them to recover.
Many may ridicule it, it is certainly revolutionary, but the method still has a large following 56 years after it was first suggested and in that time has brought recovery to untold thousands.
Thank you, Jeff. I think the rationale behind "boats" is to accept thoughts as thoughts, which pass like clouds, rather than feeling the need to act upon them. When a thought comes in, realising it is just a thought with many more to follow.
I will re-read Claire Weekes' book, as I too find it very inspirational.
I seem to be getting worse in constantly concentrating on myself: the way I speak, walk, if I feel nervous. I try to accept it and continue doing things regardless. Last night I was up most of the night with a thumping headache, listened to 3-4 meditations in a row and eventually fell asleep at around 5. My sister came over yesterday but instead of relaxing I felt on edge all day. Whenever I try to help myself in my bounds of anxiety I seem to make the matters worse. I understand it is the access of Adrenalin and cortisol playing up and that it is the fear of sensations that I am feeling and fearing. Should I counteract the negative thoughts with the positive ones or just keep on telling myself that this is access of hormones creating the fear and try to ignore it? I have been really struggling recently.
Amade, the acceptance method for recovery from anxiety disorder doesn't give an instant result, you have to practice accepting the bad feelings and thoughts for weeks before the nervous system becomes desensitised and returns to normal.
You ask if you should counteract the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. But if you did that you would not be accepting the negative thoughts, you would be doing the opposite by trying to evade and escape from them which is the direct opposite of Acceptance. Likewise don't ignore them, instead Face them, that is the first imperitive of Claire Weekes' acceptance method.
You must embrace the anxiety and strange thoughts for the moment, agree to live with them and because you know their power to harm you is limited and because you have discovered a method you believe will enable your recovery, you will accept the symptoms without fear. Thus you stop the flow of fear hormones which are keeping your nervous system sensitised in a vicious circle of symptoms causing fear causing sensitisation causing more symptoms causing more fear causing more sensitisation.
Of course, by accepting the symptoms for the time being still leaves you feeling uncomfortable but by accepting them you know you now hold the key to recovery.
I'm as old as the hills, anxiety runs in the family, I first discovered the acceptance method in 1975 and I have not discovered a more effective method (though one may exist), many of the more recent self help books are extensions of the acceptance method.
I know you've listened to Claire Weekes' CDs in your car but I would suggest that nothing beats reading her first book and giving it your total concentration. You can obtain a new or pre-owned copy of Claire Weekes' first book 'Self help for your nerves' on Amazon or ebay for a few £$ (if you are lucky enough to be American it's called 'Hope and help for your nerves' over there).
So acceptance takes time to work (her fourth imperitive is Let time pass). Don't try to escape from anxiety symptoms by trying to evade them with other thoughts, you must enter the storm, go straight through it and exit the other side. No quick fixes or instant cures I'm afraid. Occupation is good therapy for anxiety, too much introspection can frighten anyone half to death.
Meds will bring respite and have their part to play but they do not cure or bring recovery. Read the book, what's to lose?
Jeff. There is a place in her book where she talks about letting time pass. Sometimes I practice my acceptance while listening to the clock tick in the living room. Thank you for your wisdom. Like I said—you always make me feel hopeful!
Thank you so much, Jeff, I will keep on doing it. I did read Claire Weekes’ book a few months ago but will reread it again. I agree with you that a number of other books such as Dare and the one by Paul David follow similar principles. I have also found Dare app helpful.
I am very grateful for such a detailed answer. Thank you.
As you say, it's an ongoing struggle. I always think that peace of mind is the most precious thing in this world. If you have it, you need nothing else. I'm glad that you have the physical energy to take part in exercise. I am 78 years old and my dancing days--with so much else--are over. My world has shrunk to the extent that I often feel I am in a box with no lid. The grief I feel for the ones I have lost never leaves me.I just have to think of them for a moment and the tears flow as they are doing right now. I'm in a prison of circumstance. I write poetry but the Muse visits me infrequently these days. Everything worthwhile has deserted me. I seem to be just waiting for the end. I have twin sons whom I love with all my heart but they are not of my generation and cannot share with me my precious memories of long ago. In that sense, they are separate although so close. I suspect I am just not emotionally strong enough to cope with old age. There is no solution but, if I could accept that there is another life to come, I would be to some extent relieved. The thing is that, after a lifetime of searching, I cannot find strong enough evidence that this is true reality. I wonder why we are kept in the dark about such vital information when faith alone does not cut the mustard for me. I didn't intend to write all of this but there you are.
darkshadow, the thing that has proved to me there is a life to come is reading some of the thousands of near death experiences on the internet, there are just so many from all over the world for them to be the work of collusion. If you Google 'near death experiences' you will find one with an extensive archive.
I am 75, age is no barrier to new friendships. Maybe you shouldn't be put off by your sons being (inevitably) of a different generation. Maybe engage with them more and let them benefit from your experience and knowledge, that's what we're supposed to do at our age.
The world is still as full of wonder and interest as it was when you were 25. I wish you all speed on your journey to peace of mind which Claire Weekes' book may, or may not, assist with.
My sons and I are very close but I don't want to blight their lives with my problems. I suppose I do to a certain extent as they give me a lot of attention. They could not be better.
As for near death experiences, every time I read something which comes near to convincing me of their truth, I come across a counter argument by science which ends up making more sense to me. The brain can still function for a short time and/or in a less efficient way after the heart stops. Only when the brain is dead are we truly gone.
Another point which keeps my doubt alive is that what you experience in this state seems to depend on what you believed in life. Christians see Jesus-like figures but Moslems do not. Anyway--we don't really know what Jesus looked like or even if he really lived in the physical world at all. The visions therefore--tome--are more likely to be constructed by imperfect brain function at the end of life. I tend to discount personal anecdotes on the subject in favour of scientific proof--which is lacking so far.
One case of near death experiences is of particular relevance to what you say. As you may know one fairly common factor is the rising up and looking down on your 'body' from above it. This to leave you in no doubt that you are dead.
One NDE subject was being visited in hospital by a couple of friends. He asked if they could fetch him something. They said they could and were expecting a request for grapes or a bar of chocolate. He told them: "Fetch me a step ladder".
Perplexed they decided to humour him and borrowed a step ladder from the hospital maintenance man on some pretext.
The NDE then asked one of them to set the step ladder up under one of the slowly revolving ceiling fans with propellor-like blades.
"Climb up and look at the side of the blade facing the ceiling" he asked. One of his friends complied.
"Is there a small red label on that side of the blade?" the NDE enquired.
Astral projection can accomplish this---so they say. The person is not dead but only travelling in a higher state of consciousness. Death is something else.
But the person in that story was clinically dead for several minutes before the medical team managed to revive him. No use making a bet about this as I wouldn't know where to send the money.
We all choose to believe what we want. All I'm saying is it hasn't been proved scientifically that there is life after physical death. I wish it were otherwise. Also, a story is just that---a story.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Dr Claire weekes a must read!!
Do you know any good anxiety self-help books?
