Anxiety Support
33,451 members37,759 posts

Postpartum Anxiety, OCD, panic attacks

Hi!

This is my experience with anxiety and OCD. I've read tons of all your troubles and experiences. And finally I'm ready to share mine. I am still struggling, but I am doing the best I possible can to overcome this terrible obstacle! I'm 34 years old, and I had a baby 5 months ago. At two weeks pp I experienced what everyone says was a panic attack! It was horrific! At the time my husband and I were taking turns with the baby. So I slept first and than we switched. I had fallen asleep in bed and heard the baby cry. So I got up to go help him. When I felt fluid rush out of me. I stood beside my bed and there was blood on my bed. Running down my legs. I remained calm. Cleaned myself up changed the sheets and went to the living where he was feeding the baby. I sat on the couch scrolling through my phone when this feeling came over me it's unexplainable! It came out of no where! This weird sensation. I felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was going to pass out I felt like I couldn't breathe! That something had to be wrong with my heart. SOMETHING!! Wasn't right! I freaked out, stood to my feet told my husband something is wrong. But I couldn't tell him what! I could not explain it! He called an ambulance for me. I felt in a daze the whole way there. Scared out of my mind!! ER Dr checked me out said all was fine with the girly parts. Did some blood work came back good! As I'm sitting there in L&D. The alarm on the monitor is beeping. I pay it no mind. Then when it did it a second time I looked over and noticed my heart rate slowly dropping. I watched it go all the way down to 37. And that sensation came over me again but it passed quickly this time. I yelled for the nurse and my heart rate shot up to 126. I'm freaking out at the point thinking it's my heat oh my god! And she looks at me and says how do you know your heart rates never been that low before?!? Wth? Really did she really just say that!?! They discharge me home. I'm in disbelief and they are looking at me like I'm crazy. I followed up with my OB the next day. She dx me with ppd gave me buspar to take and ordered a holter monitor. From the point on everything has been down hill. Swore my heart was mulfunctioning. And I was dying!! They also ordered an echo. I've had ekgs, blood work I'm surprised I still having blood left! Even saw a cardiologist twice said I had a healthy heart! The physical sx of anxiety were overwhelming. Dizziness, SOB, tingling, palpitations you name it i had it! Was changed to Prozac. I was afraid to take that so I waited a few weeks. My mom tried killing herself 3 times when I was child and once she was on Prozac. All my test cameback normal all of them! Still nope I was convinced I was dying! Somehow they missed something! So I tried the Prozac! I didn't sleep for three day or eat! And I had a suicidal thought! That was is it! I was hospitalized for 4 days where there they changed me to Zoloft. I thought my last 4 days of life were gonna be in that hospital! Once discharged I stuck with the Zoloft. I had terrible side affect! Intrusive thoughts was afraid for my husband to leave me. But I kept my mouth shut I did not want to end up back in the hospital!! Hoping it all would pass. I was afraid to wash the dishes that I was going to snap and stabb myself while cleaning the knifes. I was living in fear daily. White knuckling it everyday afraid of the next symptom, next panic attack! What if became my thought process! In the present now I stopped the Zoloft 3 days ago. Went to see a psychiatrist whom changed me to seroquel. And oh my goodness!! That isn't for me! I have never had this happen to me before in all my 34 years. And for him to put me on seroqual for anxiety!?! I can't even? I questioned him?!? I couldn't believe it, but I was willing to try whatever to feel better! i am not bipolar. Have never been depressed, I will say I have always been anxious most of my life, but nothing to extreme! Good grief! At this point I am just going to see how i do without any medicine for now! I do have xanax for emergencies only! I have never taking any medicine in my life. But I am to the point where I'm done! I want to enjoy my life and my baby. I love him more than anything in the world. I'm tired of the fear, of the panic, the anxiety! Tired! I don't want to die. And I don't want to worry about dying! I'm not on the road to recovery, but I am doing the best I can to live! Enjoy every moment!

Thanks!

2 Replies
oldestnewest

Hi there! I read your post and wanted to share that I had a similar experience. I had my son almost 6 months ago. I had dealt with anxiety and panic long before I was pregnant. I'm 28 now and I had my first attack at 19. It has come and gone over the years. Anyways, I went to the ER Postpartum for a low heart rate too! So weird! I freaked out! No one could really tell me why but they checked me out thoroughly and my heart is healthy like yours. Postpartum bradycardia is actually a rare but not dangerous thing that happens to some women! Basically our bodies just went through a crazy change and they are still trying to readjust. Hormones are a crazy thing! Give yourself some time and relaxation and I'm sure things will settle down for you. Best wishes!

1 like
Reply

Thank you for your reply! I hate you went through something similar. But glad it's not just me! And I'm not alone! Hormones are something of their own!

Thank you!

Reply

You may also like...