Anxiety out of nowhere

I'm 46 years old and have never in my life had anxiety issues. Sometimes in the winter a bit of depression, but nothing like this. Unfortunately I have so many possible triggers from the past year that I don't really know what the problem is.

First it started a week after I stopped taking Flonase at Easter - doc had me on it every day for two years. I was convinced it was just the withdrawal. Saw two different doctors and both tried to put me on different dosages of Cymbalta and agreed it might be withdrawal, but that stuff screwed with my sex life in a bad, bad, bad way not counting the rest of the side-effects so I refuse to take it. Besides, if it's withdrawal, I figured in 4 weeks I'd be better, and the Cymbalta doesn't start doing anything for 3 to 6 weeks anyway.

Now I'm at 8 weeks and had a breakdown yesterday. All weekend I've felt like I'm in terror over nothing. Overall I thought I was getting better, but apparently not so much.

In addition, a year ago this month my home was destroyed by floods. I'm still rebuilding. That might be a trigger too, I suppose.

I've always been a rock in high stress situations. Never had issues, always able to plan ahead, handle stress and make everyone jealous of how well I do. For the 6 months after the floods I had people constantly telling me how they were inspired by me. Yes, I had a crying breakdown or three after the floods, so it's not like I bottled it up, I just rolled up my sleeves and got to work. I have a great supportive wife, pretty awesome kids, and I'm financially well-off with zero debt. I really don't have anything to stress over.

Now I just feel like I can't sit still, but I don't have anything else I want to do either. I feel like constantly pacing. I have a tension in my gut. I'm quick to anger. I get frustrated easily with my kids, both the grown and out of the house and the ones still at home. I accused my wife of cheating on me. Twice, even though I know it didn't happen and I'm being unreasonable. Last night I announced i was moving out over something stupid.

The doctors have been less than useless. When I tried to talk to one about the side effects and how I wasn't going take that drug, he just smiled and said "yeah, it'll do that." I'd honestly rather jump off a bridge than take that crap.

I can't wrap my mind around how I went from zero to 10,000 overnight if it wasn't the corticosteroid withdrawal. And if it WAS the withdrawal, why am I not getting better now that it's been over 8 weeks? I'm falling apart here.

[HVM98]

Hi cybermage, I'm not familiar with these medications but I understand your frustration in not knowing the main cause, sometimes I think it's just a slow but steady build up over time and one day our body starts to cry out. I'm sorry to also hear about the floods, stay strong, you can overcome all of this.

[Hidden in reply to HVM98]

I'm not so sure anymore that I can overcome it. I've exhausted the doctors in my area to no avail. So far I've spent about $300 out of pocket on copays and meds. I'd have to drive 2 hours to go see someone else, who my insurance probably wouldn't cover, and even if it did would take me a month to get in to see anyone. I feel like the entire healthcare system is designed to make you try to commit suicide before anyone is willing to try to help.

[HVM98 in reply to Hidden]

Have you looked into any online counselling/therapist's, maybe talking to someone online would help plus keep costs and driving time down. A couple of friends are trying BetterHelp and I have them in my saved folder, think they also offer different monthly options.

[R1ch-]

I completely understand everything you say. You could be my double. Family man my self. Lived off stress my self. This has come from nowhere in my eyes. And it don't make sense.

Hope you find a solution my friend, I bloody haven't yet. It's been nearly 2 years, with no answers.

[Hidden in reply to R1ch-]

Wow, I'll be honest. At 2 years I'll probably be a splat at the bottom of a bridge. I don't have that kind of strength. At the very least I'll be divorced, probably in less than a year at the way things are going. I'm certain I can only continue adding stress to my wife for so long before she snaps. Someone commented to me Sunday that I sound like I'm ready to give up. At times I am.

[Anxietyfree]

Hi....have you tried relaxation techniques? Stress/ anxiety occurs when we forget to nurture ourselves. We need to take time to have fun,play,laugh etc. Relaxation is a lifeskill and not just something that the airy fairy types do. You cant pour from an empty jug- meaning.you need to take time to refil it. Self-hypnosis is available online...i use hypnosis downloads by uncommon knowlegde. Mindfulness is good and helps us to stay in the moment rather than worrying about the past or future.

Hope this helps

😀

[Hidden in reply to Anxietyfree]

I've tried to force myself to do biking, hiking, and other things. The things I used to love to do (video games, photography) I just can't bring myself to do anymore. I've left behind all my friends - well friends is a relative term, I don't actually interact with people except online or when my wife forces me to. But my online gaming group and I haven't spoken with each other in 2 months. My brother who is also a gamer called me yesterday wondering why he hadn't seen me online in months.

And to be clear, my gaming group isn't a bunch of kids. We're all middle aged professionals including executives, successful self-employed, and an attorney.

As I described it to my wife - you know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and realize you never did the homework that counts for half your grade that's due in 45 minutes? Yeah, I feel like that. All the time on bad days. Generally it doesn't target a specific thought until something else happens and the anxiety latches onto that and turns it into a big deal. For instance, I felt that way all day Sat, then I saw something on my wife's phone that I misinterpreted and it sent me into a spiral, as if all day was caused by something that didn't actually happen until 8 PM.

Good days I'm fine, no anxiety. Then something might trigger an instant response. I was ok for most of today, then something set me off at 9PM and here I sit not sleeping at 2:30 AM so I decided to just go to work and get things done there.

[jessiejakes]

Hi cybermage I am not a doctor but it sounds to me that this anxiety has been caused by stopping the medication and depending on how long you was on it for.all medication have some side affects and most cause withdraw symptoms unless you are weaned of them slowly.but there is lots of hope and help out there and you will get back to your old self ,you just have to get the help .

[Hidden in reply to jessiejakes]

I'd love it if this were the case - my doctor didn't seem concerned about it though he suggested a week of a half-dose of the Flonase to ween off it. I did that. The worst case of Flonase withdrawal I found online was 1 month. I'm going on 9 weeks. I'm terrified it's not just the medication. I'd love for it to just be the medication.

[Hidden]

So I finally found a doctor willing to do blood work - it took three different doctors before I could convince one. She found my vitamin-D was so low it barely registered and my testosterone level is half what it should be. I see anecdotal evidence online that the testosterone and possibly even vitamin-D issue could be related to the flonase, assuming the flonase acted on my body like a typical steroid like prednisone. Not sure why 12 weeks later I'm still not better. I go back for more blood work in another week to test T levels again and then she said I'll probably have to take TRT for the rest of my life. I'm hoping things will bounce back naturally a bit before then, trying a few supplements that might work but I'm not hopeful. I really don't want to have to take TRT for the rest of my life - they say once you start your body will stop producing it naturally all together.

[jeanesdream]

I feel the same. This waiting for the med to work is awful. Cant sit still and wear myself out trying to do things to keep my mind off og the dizzy and nausea. I have too much to do for my family to be so incapacitated. I hope they can all put up with it for however long it takes. Starting to get depressed now that i have felt bad for do long. Prayer helps. Crying helps short term. Put it in the catagory "life sucks" some times..