Work :-(

So, I ended up breaking down and was sent home from work on Friday. :-( This has not been the first time that I broke down at a work place (especially, at this particular job for that matter). :-( I was told to not come in to work on Monday, but rather to wait for a call. I'm in big trouble now and have to really look for another job. :-( My husband is upset and I really don't know what to do. Can I be fired for having multiple mental breakdowns at work? If so, can I collect unemployment?

I have had plenty of issues holding a job in the past. The thing with me is that I take things way too personal from other employees to the point that I break down in unacceptable ways. :-( These negative things that other employees do and say build up inside me to the point that I can't take it anymore and I eventually explode by crying uncontrollably at the work place and I am unable to address my feelings with the other employees who I feel harmed by properly.

I dread the phone call later on today by my employer. No matter what, I need a fresh start and I really can't get involved with drama from other employees at the work place anymore for my sanity's sake. I would greatly appreciate any advice on this matter. Thanks

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17 Replies

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  • Hi so sorry to hear you are going through this.

    What country do you live in because in the UK there is a law called the Equalities act 2010 which in theory should help you challenge any discrimination due to mental illness​.

    If you check out "mental health protected characteristic, Equalities act 2010" on Google.

    Personally all I can say is take an hour at a time and not sweat the outcome of the phone call (easier said than done) your health comes first.

    I wish you all the best and hope you go to see a doctor who may refer you for specialist help, right now you need understanding and hope.

    Best wishes.

  • You should wait for the call and explain to your employer what's happening. They can talk to the person(s) that are making you feel this way, and hopefully sort it.

    While you're at work, if you feel like you're going to break down, pull aside the person in charge and ask if you can sit in the staff room/office alone to calm down and get yourself together. You may even find that confiding to someone may help you feel better. I know whenever I'm feeling the same way, I just take a moment to get myself together (whether it be talking to someone I know won't judge me or sit alone).

    As platesofmeat said if you are in the UK the Equalities act 2010 protects you from such and the person(s) doing this can get in some serious trouble, maybe even fired for doing such.

    Take it easy.

    Tell your employer exactly what's going on, he/she may be able to sort it out.

    I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself! X

  • Yeah - Where are you, Kakee83? In any case there's no excuse for this kind of attitude from an employer.

  • I am so sorry. I have done similiar. I have been somewhat protected. Did I ask before if you have a Union for advice? I'm in one.

  • Thanks for all of your replies, support and kind words about my post. I currently live in the United States (truthfully, I wish that I lived elsewhere given the current state of the nation :-( ) We have the Americans with Disabilities Act that should protect people like me. I try very hard in every job that I have had and even so, I still am constantly being stepped on like a door mat by other employees. My psychiatrist gave me another medication to take in addition to the current meds to help me calm down when stress/anxiety is on the rise. She wanted me to take it every day until I could get these crying spells under control. Unfortunately, HR and the program director saw that I was spacing out and they found out. Consequently, they told me not to take it at work. Also, you are all right when you said to just wait and see what happens and to explain more thoroughly my situation when I get the call. I wasn't officially​ fired yet and I didn't quit, so that is something. I changed therapists a months ago, but since she has been swamped with her other clients, I haven't met with her since then. I am scheduled to meet with her on the June 10th and I also see my a new PCP and psychiatrist later in June as well.

  • Are your employers fully aware of your condition, Kaykee? There's no reaso/justification for giving you a hard time. If you could perhaps approach them on your behalf, pointing out how expensive it could get by even threatening you with dismissal. And you could guarantee all the publicity they don't want should such a situation arise + the expensive of their "good name" being dragg through the mud via the media.

    Do you have "Constructive Dismissal" in the State's employment legislation?

  • Thanks​, Finglas-Boy for your comments. Yes, they are fully aware of my conditions. That's why they didn't give me a hard time when I quit today. I felt bad about leaving my children because I loved working with them. I ultimately decided that it was for the best to quit for my emotional well being. I really need to focus on my self now and get better.

  • If you were a full-time employee, you cannot be justly fired for having a mental illness, assuming you live in the US.

    This job situation of yours is not unique to you. Many here have been through the very same. I had been fired from about 10 jobs in the last 5 years myself because of my anxiety and other failings but I have learnt to let it be, and move on to the next.

    For anxiety, rather than having a therapist(a therapist is not a psychiatrist) see to your meds, may I suggest you stick to having a psychiatrist or more preferably a neuropsychiatrist look into your case and help you manage your medications? I find that neuropsychiatrists are more informed about how these things affect our case and can better diagnose our issues than a mere psychiatrist can.

    Hopefully, your job is fine. Have you considered that maybe the emotional issues you believe are caused by your fellow workers are in fact from within you? Unresolved issues are what fuels anxiety (not GAD), so if you can, please take the time to deal with your emotional hangovers so that you are good and ready for work.

    I think you mentioned somewhere that you are an empath. I think even empath can turn a deaf ear to the emotions of others around them. Have you considered listening to music while you work? It might help take your mind away from all the drama around you and keep you focused on your job and your job alone.

  • Thank you very much again kobojunkie. It's a relief to feel that I am not alone in this type of situation. I do have unresolved issues from past experiences, unfortunately. I definitely need to get better before anything else. I see my psychiatrist, a new PCP and a new therapist later on this month. I am going to look into a neuropsychiatrist also, but I have seen my current psychiatrist since 2015 and she is definitely aware of my situation. The issue is because I am working with children, I can't take the controlled substance that she prescribed during or right before work hours per the program director and HR of the agency. Thanks again for your advice and support. I most definitely am an empath and need all of the support that I can get.

  • Try a psychotherapist. Psychiatrists are medical docs with knowledge of psychiatric medicine and go by a lot of old school ideas. Have a look at what you eat and drink. Often what we ingest plays a part xx

  • Thanks, Anxietyfree. Because of her schedule, I will be meeting with the new psychotherapist at the end of June. I last saw her in May. I have been eating unhealthy food a lot lately and I did gain a lot of wait. My eating and sleeping patterns definitely have to change as well. Hopefully, this new psychotherapist can help me. She told me in the initial session that 85 percent of her clients do have depression/anxiety disorders and she does have 27 years of experience in the field.

  • Hey kakee, I have the same issues where I leave work from having a mental breakdown and crying in toilets all day. It's ok to break down and have this reaction because sometimes it is uncontrollable and if it is being triggered by people, then you should never be blamed or punished for that. I have just left my job to join a new field of work hopefully and i would never tell someone to leave their job because it is scary out there, but if you feel as though these people are not helping and not the sort of people you want to spend your days with, then leave it. You have to realise that it's not worth it. We only have one life and the real value placed on it will be happiness and not the success and jobs we have. So do something else if it means leading a happy and stress free life! I wish you all the best x

  • Thanks, Denimdungarees for your support.

  • Thanks, again everyone for all of your comments and support. I ended up quitting today. My supervisor was very supportive and cordial, surprisingly. I need to focus on myself now and focus on my mental health. I came to the conclusion that my emotional well being is more important. I need a fresh start drama free and I can't let the actions/words of others get the best of me in the workplace anymore.

  • Kakee83, very good decision. Your mental health is most important right now. Get yourself together and like you said give yourself a fresh start. My best to you x

  • I don't think they can fire you. If they do, then they don't deserve your services. You're husband has no right to be angry at you, he should be angry at your work place for making you feel that way and for possibly firing you over a break down. Try to explain things though, that's what I had to do. Let them know that you're only human and can't always control things. I am so sorry you're going through this and I wish you the best of luck!

  • Hello Kakee,

    Hope everything went well at your work. It is tough going through all this at work specially since we spend most of our time there. Take care.

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