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[apaulm]

I'm curious if anyone else feels this way. Most of you go to the doctor because you really think you have some type of illness and trust me, I feel the same, but at the same time I'm just as terrified going. Like I don't want to go in there thinking that's it's just anxiety and the doctor is going to tell me everything is fine only to find out that nope I do have a serious condition that is either incurable or terminal. That would only spiral me into panic even more and at that point I would probably even go into full blown depression. I know I haven't made the healthiest life choices but I haven't been as bad as I've seen some people. It's just mind bloggling to see a 90 year smoking and then hear about 35 who's never smoked get stage 4 lung cancer. It's like a lottery you don't want to win when it comes to death.