Struggling with body image post baby?

[Coryn]

I had my son in Oct 2016 beautiful boy I adore him, I have a loving fiance.

My issue is that Although stretch marks are seen as tiger strips and earned I HATE them. I used to be 8st and now weigh almost 11.

My B cup breasts are saggy, My bum is saggy.. and now I also have fibromyalgia.

I hate how i look, My fiance never makes romantic sexual advances on me unless I hint and it makes me feel ugly... Hes not doing it on purpose but still...

None of my clothes fit me... I miss being "Pretty" and peppy... slim and tight..

I can't leave the house without thinking that people are staring at me because Im ugly, fat and gross...

I have depression so I have NO motivation to diet or exercise... no matter how hard I try...

anxiety

depression

fibromyalgia and i just hate myself..

I hate myself ...

(Im on anti depressants have been since november had dosage changed everything, I dont hate life Ijust hate how i look and thats what saddens me)

[Nicki1984]

Please don't be hard on yourself your body takes time to get back after having a baby and life has changed. Don't worry the first year with a baby is the hardest as you are also adjusting to the change and sleepless nights etc have you been to the docs about how you feel they can help. Am sure your being a super mum no need to put pressure on yourself to snap back and if anyone is judging you then they clearly have not idea about becoming a mum. Xx

[Coryn in reply to Nicki1984]

I have been and iv been on anti depressants since november iv had the dosage changed a couple of times and its not that I feel low its just more that I hate how i look... I barely gained weight during pregnancy it was post birth i gained i started snacking and go addicted to caffinated drinks.. My son doesnt wake up at night and if he does it is once for nappy and bottle... </3 I just hate how i look...

[Nicki1984 in reply to Coryn]

Set yourself some small goals to work on each week to motivate you. Trying talking to your partner again or write it all down can help. Maybe try some counselling? X

[Hidden]

Sounds like postnatal depression perhaps? It's not uncommon to feel this way after having a child, you may benefit from chatting to your doctor about how bad your feeling, as for your partner, some men are unsure when is the right time to get intimate again with their partners after childbirth, he may also feel guilty for your current feelings of unhappiness? consider seeing someone to talk it through, I'm sure there's help for you xxx

[Coryn in reply to Hidden]

Iv already been been on anti depressants since november had dosage changed everything.. he doesn't actually know how shitty i feel he thinks i wear baggy clothes for comfort...

we have been intimate straight since my son was born but iv always made the first move...

[Hidden]

Have you spoken with your partner about how your feeling?

[Coryn in reply to Hidden]

it makes me very uncomfortable to be vocal about it because to him im perfect and I know he will just respond with a compliment and explain how pretty I am.. Iadore he finds me beautiful but I want him to realise that I don't feel this way.. and I hate it

[Kiwimama in reply to Coryn]

Tell him exactly that.

Say that you feel unattractive and that you want to feel attractive again but that words don't really help.

Failing that you could always issue him with a free pass in writing on which it is up to him to act on.

[Hidden]

Hello

O please don't see those stretch marks as anything other than showing you have done the one precious thing any women can do by bringing another life into the world and I am sure you BF will not notice them at all and why should he you have given him a Son , you are the Mother of his Son and he will love you just the way you are

I have had 3 children and I have stretch marks but it has never put my husband of and I am sure yours is no different , but your anxiety and depression is telling you that because that is how it keeps control and keeps us down

You mention you think your BF does not find you attractive anymore but I think it will be more the fact he may not have a clue what to do , he will know how you feel and he will be thinking if he approaches you it could make matters worse , he will be quite lost with all this but the fact he responds when you approach him shows he still finds you attractive

Have you sat down and told him how you feel , I think they need to know sometimes exactly what we are thinking as to help them understand as well as telling them what we need from them to help us

OK you are not 8 stone anymore but you know curvy women can be just as attractive if not more , a lot of men prefer curvier women and eventually when you have sorted your depression and anxiety out you will start eating healthier and get back to exercise and the weight will come of again , don't look at these celebs that seem to snap back into jeans within a day , remember they usually have everyone running round after them while a personal trainer takes them through their paces but we live in the real world where it can take a couple of years sometimes before we start feeling and looking as we did before we had a baby

Get all the support you can and be proud of how you look because you will be the most Beautiful person to your Son and BF there is and I hope someday soon you will see that to

Take Care x

Just adding that you can be a member on more than one Community on Health Unlocked and if you would like to learn more about loosing weight and healthy eating there is an NHS weight loss Community where you might get some excellent ideas how best to loose weight , I will pop you the link on that will take you straight to the Community so you can have a look x

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

[1973m]

Oh goodness me .. I'm sure you're being way to hard on yourself... It takes 9 months to carry a baby and that plus longer to start to get your body back .. Our bodies change over time whatever.. You say your depressed and no incentive to do anything.. If your mind set is wrong it's very hard to get motivated but you must ... The weather is picking up , put the baby in its stroller and get walking , the air will be good for both of you the light exercise will start to boost those endorphins but most of all you will make yourself feel better because you're doing something about the situation... Start small set yourself little goals , 10mins , 15mins , 20 mins you get the picture., you lovely lady can do it .. What your body has done is amazing, now give yourself something back .. Starting tomorrow ! Let me know .

[Kiwimama]

What about joining a mother and baby exercize or actvity group. Here most churches host music and movement groups for mothers and babies/toddlers. They are heaps of fun and you get to meet other mums. Something like this could be the kick start you need. You don't have to be a Christian to attend as they welcome everyone.