Scared to RUN.

[mz_rachel]

So I know exercising is good for stress. HOWEVER, getting my heart rate up messes with my mind and also when you're out of breath, causes me to think I'm hyperventilating. I never used to have this issue when my anxiety was actually worse but I can't seem to balance my mind. I end up doing a quick work out and find myself rushing back to our apartment. Sometimes I'll be able to complete my gym session but lately it's just got me fucked up. I know better and that exercise is good for your health, but I guess I'm scared to have an episode? I find myself also holding on tight to the machine and telling myself that I will NOT get off no matter what. But sometimes it gets me. Does anybody relate? I truly wanna work out but I just gotta reprogram my damn mind into thinking that what I'm doing will help me versus kill me.

[Michele_B]

I read something the other day that might help you...

It said to think of the heart as what it is. A muscle. That needs to be exercised. I know its tough to think in those terms...I have problems with it too. But I do try to come back to this when its time to go to the gym and it does help me get through my workouts.

[mz_rachel in reply to Michele_B]

Thank you so much Michele for responding. It really means a lot that someone can relate. It's so hard and challenging. Is anxiety better for you now?

[Michele_B in reply to mz_rachel]

Its getting better. Slowly but surely. I still have my moments. Like last night when I fell asleep on the couch and woke up suddenly to my heart pounding. I'm trying to implement steps from a book I'm reading but I'm also on a daily med.

[mz_rachel in reply to Michele_B]

It's so hard getting over that hump. But it really shows us how strong we are. It's so scary though. And like right now I'm at work and I had the worse attack. Luckily my co workers and boss understand and they hung out with me outside. I hate the tightness of chest.

[Michele_B in reply to mz_rachel]

I had a rough day today too. Luckily my boss and co-workers understand too.