My anxiety/fear of sex is ruining my life

[ccmm551]

I graduated from high school last year and will go to college this year, I have a supportive family, the best friends, and the most loving boyfriend in the world. but since deciding to have sex with my boyfriend, I've been terrified that I'll become pregnant and mess up our entire lives. I'm always afraid to do things in life, because I'm scared I will mess it up, or that I just have bad luck. My anxiety has prevented me from getting a job since I graduated school, and has prevented me from applying to colleges in some ways. but now, it is effecting this also, which is effecting my relationship, my life, everything. I keep seeing flashing images in my mind of all the horrible things that will happen to me if I become pregnant. I feel like no matter how much protection we use, I may never be able to have a healthy sexual relationship because it will tear me apart. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm having so much trouble getting over this fear, and it is ruining me. I fear that I am already pregnant even though I've had a period and 6 negative pregnancy test. this is making me feel like I'm losing my mind, and I'm wondering if I will never be able to get it together until it's been 9 months since I last had sex. I feel crazy. And I realize, maybe this is because I'm just not "ready" for sex, but I feel that I am, because I'm in a loving committed relationship, I'm almost 20 years old, and my anxiety/hypochondria is the only thing holding me back. someone thoughts please

[Hidden]

Hey, I'm 37 almost 38 and there's plenty of living for you to do yet. I remember being your age and sex was always on the mind but I wish I had done so much more worh my life in terms of education and travel etc, your young but if your using protection then it shouldn't enter your mind, enjoy ya self Hun