Hello everyone. I hope you are well. I am new to this site and to the community. Today I had another meltdown because I feel like I am unable to complete all of my tasks for school and work. I want to drop eveything I've worked so hard for and go back home with my family, where I feel safe and accepted. I am afraid that I am going to fail out of my academic program, and I feel like I'm falling behind at work because my anxiety keeps from being productive and from contributing during meetings.
I am currently seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist for help, but it doesn't seem to be alleviating much of the stress. I am terrified at the thought of anything related to being social - going to class, to the office, conversations that people may want to have throughout the day - I am not good at them, and my first instinct is to run away and hide. I want to stay home all day and just cry because facing the world seems like more than I can bear. I have no idea how people manage this everyday with what seems like such ease. I'm just going through the motions at this point, not enjoying much of anothing lately.
Has or is anyone experiencing something similar? I could really use some advice from someone who understands and maybe has even overcome what I'm going through.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post.
Written by
Jazzykickerette
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Jazzykickerette, it sounds like the pressure of schoolwork has taken its toll on your nervous system, maybe you've been expecting too much from yourself. You don't mention much about what anxiety symptoms you have but that doesn't matter too much because the way to recover is the same. But first let's look at what got you into this state.
You started worrying about the amount of academic work you have and your ability to complete it all on time. Maybe you're too much of a perfectionist so perhaps the thing to do is just start at the beginning and do your best and if some of your work doesn't meet the high standards you set yourself well that's your best and nobody can do more than their best. And maybe your best is a lot better than you think. It would be a pity to give everything up and run back home.
All this worry has caused your nervous system to become over wrought, or to be more precise over sensitised. In this state every problem appears to be ten times bigger than it really is. That causes more worry and fear which maintains the over sensitivity of your nervous system. The way to recover and rid yourself of the anxiety and the melt downs is simple - startdoing the opposite if what you're doing now. Stop fighting your bad feelings and worrying thoughts and instead simply ACCEPT them. Anxiety may make you feel bad but it's not life threatening, it can't damage your body, it won't send you insane. So I repeat, when you start feeling bad or there's a melt down coming on just ACCEPT it without fear.
You'll still feel lousy of course but by Accepting the bad feelings without adding more fear to your nervous system you give your nerves a chance to heal. When worries feel overwhelming imagine you are a rock on the shore and the waves are your worries and bad feelings. Let the waves come and let them break over snd round you. Despite all the crash and splash the rock still stands. Well that rock has got your name on it. When you feel the bad feelings coming just imagine every muscle in your body and your head relaxing. Imagine you've a muscle in your brain and feel that relaxing too and hold it, then your jaw muscle, then every muscle in your limbs and body relaxing one after the other.
When you ACCEPT the bad feelings you stop adding more sensitivity to your jangled nerves, this is the road to recovery though it will take time, there are no quick fixes I'm afraid, if you ever find one let me know. Then when your mind is locked into accepting the bad feelings simply carry on doing what you usually do, and this includes the social aspects you refer to. You sort of switch on to 'automatic pilot' and float through these occasions. You'll still feel bad to begin with but whilst practicing acceptance just carry on on 'automatic pilot', you can do it, you'll be surprised that it's nowhere near as difficult as you think. And because you're generating less of the fear that sensitised nerves thrive on they will recover their normal state - and so will you.
The Acceptance method of dealing with anxiety has been around for 55 years and has cured untold thousands of people. There's no reason why you shouldn't be next!
I appreciate your response. I've been feeling so overwhelmed, and by reading this, it seems like you really get it. You were able to discern a lot about what I struggle with (like perfectionism) and speak to thone things, which I find very helpful. Accepting my anxiety sounds like the scariest thing I can do, but if it's helped thousands, it's a worth a try.
Jazzykickerette, with your academic work load the last thing you need is another book to read, but the Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety was the work of Claire Weekes in her book 'Self help for your nerves'. It's available from Amazon for just a few pounds/dollars, a short book written in a way that tired minds can understand. You will soon recognise yourself in its pages and there is no reason why it can't help you to become one if the untold thousands it has helped and guided to recovery. I will leave the decision to you.
I'm literally going through the same thing, trying to finish alevels and worrying about everything else that's going on in my life is so hard and I keep running away from my problems instead of facing them
I find when I go out with people from work I suffer from a lot of anxiety and heart palps I don't know why because when I'm with my close friends I am completly at ease like
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