my anxiety has caused me to become an introvert

My anxiety has caused me to become quite an introverted person. I prefer time alone, or being at home especially in the evenings. I just find im so burnt out by about 6pm. The problem im having is that my boyfriend is a total extrovert, social butterfly. He seems to not understand my anxiety and I feel very overwhelmed and sometimes even depressed at my own decision to stay home while he Is out and about nearly every day of the week. I am starting to question whether this type of relationship even has a fighting chance to work out long term... its been a year now and I officially feel like ending it and giving up but don't want to jump the gun too soon.. does anyone have any advice?


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8 Replies

  • It's very difficult to live with someone or even be in a relationship with a anxiety sufferer, and yes they don't understand the horrible effects of this. Only if you truly believe this relationship is strong enough to keep fighting for it you should than but if you already question the relationship than I guess you're answering your own question.

  • I used to be the most outgoing person ever, social butterfly, loved crowds, parties, dinners anything! Then the health anxiety got better of me. I'm so scared to sometimes leave my home because I'm worried that I'll become dizzy in public, or something will start hurting me and so on.. My husband is very laid back, relaxed and doesn't always understand my worries. I love my husband direly, would not want to change him for anything. I have found that pushing myself to go out, not always but in moderation actually helps. I make sure that I have few nurofens with me and my vertigo medication, and I relax, knowing that if something happens I'm covered. Also I make a plan, if something goes wrong I will just go in my car and deal with it! With anxiety we have to try to break the circle, and by doing little things like this we are slowly making a road to hopefully recovery 💜

  • Thanks for your reply. I'm the same way if I go out .. I'll usually take a few of my "safe items" it's not that I won't go out and do things with him though. It's that he always wants a group of his friends involved and that's a lot harder for me. I hate explaining to people why im leaving half way through dinner cuz I'm panicking .. ( this has never actually happened but it's just a thought in my mind) I'd really just rather us get out and do things the two of us but he doesn't get it

  • I totally understand. Being with a group is harder to explain if you have to slip out. (although it's never happened). Being with your partner feels safer even though they don't truly understand. The what ifs is our biggest negative thought. We can't win, can we?

  • No we can't but we can try!!

  • I know how you feel, but take one step at the time. What works for me is saying to my self 'I can do this, come on anxiety bring it on', lol.. I'm challenging my anxiety, and that is giving me power, it's like I'm bigger that it. I have been suffering for a very long time, and I'm always working on getting rid of it ( not always successful)... You know what they say if you have highs fear, you need to face it, go climb high stairs, break the circle... I'm always challenging my anxiety, sometimes it's not easy, but at the end of it, I fell better and more powerful.


  • These are all good thoughts. And Tatjana has it right. Keep trying, small steps. Regarding your relationship, keep calmly and thoughtfully telling your partner how you are feeling. I have found writing an email helps collect my thoughts and send it to him (or her in my case). I have been married 15 years and even though talking face to face to my wife is the most important part of our relationship, we still email each other sometimes when we need to get our feelings across. It allows you to organize your emotions at your time frame and it allows him to read it, digest it and maybe read it again. If he supports the way you feel and act then you know the relationship is working. However the street is two ways, you do need to keep making the effort to support his extroverted behavior. My wife is more social than I, but I support going to benefit dinners and parties because that's what she likes. (Although they really bore me and make me feel anxious. :). My last thought is to also have a friend who gets you. Being online here is great to 'talk', but to sit with a friend and just be yourself is wonderful too. And just to clarify, I am a 46 year old male, married, with two kids and 12 animals. My animals calm me...

  • Anxiety and depression are hard for others people to understand because they have never felt the way wee do recently I was seeing this boy first boy I ever fought for but sometimes if you push people away they don't come back and he didn't, so we've ended things he's moved on and I'm so happy for him but I haven't, don't let this ruin your relationship a year is a long time, maybe yous should sit down and talk as a couple and explain how you feel, and maybe he will understand, you always have to be 100% honest in a relationship, unless there's no point, I wish you happiness, good luck huni x

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