Anxious

[Doighnut1967]

I really anxious starting new job Monday well 12 month contract, I did work another company for 7 months but getting to stage where I was eating I couldn't focus had to leave plus the girl work was very negative made me worse. I did temp to perm job bit only lasted 4 weeks called me saying didn't need me anymore. My anxiety taken over me worried for my future. Plus my mum been really ill doesn't recognise me. Any advise

[Agora1]

Hi Doighnut1967, I'm sorry to hear that your mom is not well. Not recognizing you certainly plays into your anxiety level. As in regards to your new job on Monday, I can relate. I too many years ago worked as a temp because of my anxiety. Although my assignments were usually a week to several weeks long. Just enough time to do my job and not have to get close to other workers.

It worked for me in that I could be whoever I wanted to during that time on site. No one knew of my anxiety problems and so I would role play that I was this friendly, outgoing person when deep inside (at that time) I was a shy, introvert. At lunchtime I would either go to my car and have my lunch or sit in the corner and read. It paid the bills as well as made me confident in myself.

I wish you well on Monday. We will support you on the forum. You are not alone with this feeling.

[paulbleasy]

Hi. I can understand how you feel. Just take one minute at a time, even one second and live for "now". I know its easy to say but don't think about what might happen in the future. Worrying is not going to help.....doing will. So do something that you will feel good about. The future is impossible to predict, so switch off to all these possibilities. I started with anxiety attacks almost a year ago, and at the time i really didn't realise what was going on. I have improved in leaps and bounds. You will get though the first minute, hour then day, and week at your new job. That in itself is an achievement, no matter how it goes. Relax and enjoy the new venture. It might even help.

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

Good advise. Been up most night over thinking about my mum and work thinking have done it right. Thinking each piece work I do I need to look at. Before authorising. So I don't doubt myself.

[paulbleasy in reply to Doighnut1967]

Sorry about your Mum. We pass through difficult times in life it can be tough, I know. I always remind myself that thinking at night is not the best time (although it's not a problem), because of tiredness, so I try and avoid it because we don't think straight. On reflection, we find that mostly the thoughts were not what was wanted. Don't worry about work, even if it's right or wrong, just try your best, and live "at the moment". The rest passes. Even the past has gone, so what happened yesterday or this morning doesn't really matter. Strive to be happy for now, and today.

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

That's easy to say but I'm struggling feel the simple things I can't do at the moment at workI feel really tireful and un happy

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

Actually your message was very helpful this afternoon I went back just took my time doing my work piece by piece manage get through it. 😀

[paulbleasy in reply to Doighnut1967]

Hey that's great...it's true you managed. That's the 1st step. Well done. Remember it is possible ! Just take things at your own pace now.

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

Not had a very good night sleep worrying about work Iam anxious just can't relax, hope you don't think I am mad

[paulbleasy in reply to Doighnut1967]

No .... we all have had that sensation, I know it's not pleasant. Can you maybe get an audiobook by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now. I know it will really help. This anxiety feeds of negative and fearful thoughts, and perpetuates. For now, Just accept the way you feel, it is the brains natural way to deal with certain situations. It will go on its own in time. And remember, no harm can come to you though these feelings

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

Working myself up again, been worryingall weekendwhat work will say about me. Fear they will get rid of me and failure to my family and friends.

[paulbleasy in reply to Doighnut1967]

I understand what your going through. Try and keep a note of what is worrying you - why you are worried about work. Which parts of your body you think the worries come from. Then in a few days or sometime later, look back and assess if the worries were worth it. Take each day as it comes, for the "moment", it will finish. And that's all you need to do. Work will only say something to you if you are doing something wrong. I'm sure that's not the case, but if they do, and let's say the worst thing happens, and they get rid of you, that's nothing to worry about anyway, There are a lot of jobs out there ! Worrying about your friends and family is not helping you at all. Switch off to that. You don't need to consider that at all. You need to live your life for you, not for others, and they are not your responsibility. Take care of yourself. Remember that anxiety feeds off fears and apprehensions. The more you mull things over in your mind, the worse the anxious symptoms show. Once you have used your brain for thinking about a given situation, it has finished it's duty so stop. Move on.

[Doighnut1967 in reply to paulbleasy]

Great, I know that I need to have positive thoughtsfrom now on I going to try, I will keep you posted at end of week.