So I'm not quite sure how this happened really. But here goes I feel like I have been strong for a long time . In January I was attacked by my dog he basically almost killed me . I had to have emergency plastic surgery. So I didn't really feel like it affected me much after. Yes I would cry and I was in lots of pain. I at one point wanted him back . But I held on strong 💪 Then here comes June when I got sicky . The diarrhea and not being able to eat really tore me up and this is where I am now... stuck thinking I need more test done on my insides against what my doctors think . Should I trust them ? I think I should! But unfortunately I don't know if I do . I looked back on something's I have posted and realized that I had loss of appetite back then too . But guess what I got it back ! So this to makes me believe that I have actually did and have been doing this to myself. It's awful to walk around thinking that you are dying. Just because my stomach rumbles and I get indigestion and my stools aren't always consistent . I have had blood test and stool samples taken. All because I read something on google! It's got be convinced my doctors are missing something. Wtf ! What ever you do my people that suffer health anxiety do not google shit ! I'm starting to believe I have caused my own physical symptoms! It's awful at times I get paranoid and think to myself what if they are wrong and your body knows! But probably not . The ultrasound tec told me a lot about her self today at my appointment she to suffered and thought she was dying. She hugged me and told me everything would be ok and I do not have cancer! She asked me have you had blood test I said yes , she goes well then something would have definitely shown there to point the doctors in the right direction. But you can only stay on that reassuring high for so long until the doubt and worry sets back in . How can we overcome something if we need constant reassurance? What if's of GAD suck ! I asked her how she over came it and she said , I just did ! One day I realized it was all in my head and had to stop . Of course she told me she had to be in medicine. I really don't want to . I want to kick this anxiety in the face myself! God has a big part in my life and I truly believe I was sent to this lady for her to tell me her story. This was my stop digging for shit that you ain't gonna find . All I'm doing is hurting my body even more. I can bet that in 1 year from now we will all look back and think what in the actual fuck was I talking about? What was I so worried for ? Everyone that believes god is with them every single step you take please pry for all of us and yourself. Pry for our family as well because they go through a lot with us even though it doesn't seem like they understand. May god be with us all !