social anxiety

[honeymoon82]

i always do and say stupid shit when i’m talking to my only friend who i care about. We aren’t like super close but she’s the only one who always tries to be here for me. I try so hard when i’m around her because i care about her and don’t know how to become closer with her. How can i become closer with her? i really want us to be better friends but i don’t know how. i always feel upset after school because i feel like i did something wrong when i was around her or because i didn’t really get the chance to talk to her. i don’t even know if she really considers me as her friend.

[jazzpw]

Hello, when you say in your post that you say stupid shit, do you mean like things that offend her or dumb things? Because I think that will affect how I respond to your post

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

dumb things

[jazzpw in reply to honeymoon82]

You see, I have a friend, my best friend actually, who literally ALWAYS says stupid things, but to me its just part of her charm and I love that part of her personality. so don't automatically assume that its something bad. It sounds to me like to become closer to her, you need to be honest about how you really feel. A few weeks ago I typed out a long paragraph to my best friend basically asking where I stand cos things have been a bit off. it was scary, but she responded with everything that I wanted to hear and now we're stronger than ever, which is difficult because its long distance. I really would recommend trying to open up otherwise you'll never know x

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

and what should i tell her? i already feel like she’s just being here for me cus she’s way too nice and not bc she actually cares. Also, she has a best friend who she is super close to. She doesn’t really need me. i tell her everything about my anxiety and stuff. I wish i could become a closer friend to her tho but when we are together, i just don’t know what to talk about so we both just stay silent.

[jazzpw in reply to honeymoon82]

If she didn't care, I really don't think she'd bother because people don't have time to do that. so I reckon she cares about you, maybe not as much as you do, but thats because you depend on her a lot and she has other people she depends on

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

so what do you think i should do? just push her away and never talk to her again? because i really feel like she doesn’t consider me as her friend

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

+ she takes forever to text me back and sometimes she doesn’t text me be back but i bet she always replies to her best friend and always texts her so i always feel like i’m annoying her

[jazzpw in reply to honeymoon82]

I think you should ask her where you stand. would you rather have a friendship where you are unsure whether you are actually friends or not have that friendship? I'd prefer to know so I could move on and stop stressing

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

i already told her once that i feel like i annoy her and she was like no you never were annoying and blah blah blah but maybe she just said that because she doesn’t wanna be rude. Don’t you think it’s a bit weird to ask her that since we aren’t really super close?

[honeymoon82 in reply to jazzpw]

i feel like i should just push her away ):

[jazzpw in reply to honeymoon82]

She's given you the answer you wanted to hear, so accept that as that was her opportunity to tell you she didn't want to be friends and she didn't say it

[hypercat54 in reply to honeymoon82]

You say you are often silent when together? Do you ask her how she is and how she is feeling? Ask her more about her life maybe? All friendship has to be give and take.

You say your parents don't believe in anxiety? If you are 16 or above you can take yourself to the doctor and get some help. Are you old enough? x