So, I wake up today, feeling much better anxiety wise after having two nights no sleep and bad anxiety for a few days. I ride into work with my husband and we are sitting at our table doing our own things when a coworker walks in, having just left the doctor office and says she has full blown pneumonia. She said the doctor gave her two shots ms said she could return to work. I looked at my husband and said, "I'm going to be in the car." Lol. I packed up and came to the car for the hour left until lunch. I called my Mom who works in the health field and she said if the doctor told her to return to work that she doesn't have the contagious type. And that brings me comfort. But still, if you have something like that, don't go to work! Needless to say, it triggered some health anxiety in me since my anxiety first began from always having chest infections and bronchial asthma as a child and teen. (I've outgrown it.)
But I've began to realize something--we can't always control what goes on around us. We can't keep fearing what will happen and protecting our eyes and ears from healthy anxiety. I have noticed that recently. The other day, I was in the grocery store with my husband, he walked off for a minute and a worker approached me and randomly began discussing her anxiety and scary health issues. It was so random. I never showed her that what she was saying was my fears but instead I listened and tried to comfort her. Today, I had random fears of blood clots since my arms have been falling asleep here lately and I turned the radio on to hear the host discussing her time in childbirth when she was told she had 3 blood clots in her lungs. I thought, "What are the odds this keeps happening?!" But then it dawned on me that perhaps God is trying to make me face them and to know that you can't run from this stuff. We need to learn to relax and TRUST that God will be there regardless what happens.
It's scary but something I guess we need to let go of. To stop protecting ourselves to the point of high anxiety and just relax. I'm going to keep trying! And to try to stop worrying about sickness! Hypochondria is no fun and quite frankly, I'm tired of worrying about it all the time.