PostPartum Anxiety

[ABlaker]

Raging hormones of course don't help. I have a baby that sleep through the night, it's such a blessing, but I still don't sleep. I lay there, staring at this beautiful baby boy and worry about everything. How can I be lucky enough to deserve him? Life seems too good to be true, but I worry it will all be ripped out from under me. Things in life always have. I live in fear, constant fear, and I can't kick it. Why can't I let myself be happy and enjoy my time with him? He's healthy, he's beautiful, he's my everything. I'm happily married, live in a quaint home, have a comfortable life, and still done feel at ease. I'm sick to my stomach all the time, I cry to myself often. I'm so scared it will all end. Please don't let this be a dream. Anxiety attacks have increased. I've had the shakes like a nervous dog. Mental health care is so poor in my state, and I can't afford to go to the psychiatrist. How do I learn to live for the moment and just be happy? Feeling hopeless.

[Justneedpeace]

I suffered horribly with anxiety and depression my whole life. But i was the happiest I have ever been in my life when I was pregnant and after I had my son.

Anxiety kicked in a year after he was born.

There has to be some hormone connection.

[Vicky810]

Wow! I feel your pain I to suffer from postpartum. your so not alone I use to feel like something bad was gonna happen it was like a "deathly" feeling . it's gonna be ok. Try to talk to a doctor a clinic or a low income clinic they can and will also prescribe you something for your anxiety and depression and will also recommend a Dr. that's affordable.. but since u said it's really no one around try the clinic get some help .. because I couldnt function and I know u can't either so try those

[Daisy-Mae]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. How old is your baby? Mine is 18 days and I couldn't sleep for the first week due to panic attacks and feelings like you described.

It's all consuming when you start to worry and you look at this tiny, perfect baby and think how can this be. But your baby needs a healthy, happy mummy. I know it's hard but maybe try making an appointment with a doctor to talk this through. I really hope there is help out there for you. Good luck xx

[ABlaker in reply to Daisy-Mae]

It's been a battle. He is 3-1/2 months old. Anytime I hear a story of someone's child or spouse it just sticks in my mind. It's awful, I feel terrible for thinking such morbid thoughts, but can't get them out of my head. We just found out our health insurance application was rejected, so we aren't covered. I'm looking into a community program.

[Hidden in reply to ABlaker]

ABaker Truly so sorry to hear about your pain,but you must seek help medical support or charity/base type it means ,you need to off load Pregnancy having your infant causes a and the whole process can cause your hormones to build up and go down .This I know too personally as I went through a similar but more intense phase /postpartum depression it was this reason I hope that you can see/understand as a professional you will get through this phase but having someone to relate your situation will will Help You tremendously.

🌹

[Hidden]

Oh how I feel your pain. I had the same thoughts and sleepless night. Still do actually 18 months later. Please try and get help either from your doctor or a therapist. My anxiety has gotten worse over the past few months to the point where I don't even want to leave my house. Best of luck to you! It will get better you just have to fight for it!

[ABlaker in reply to Hidden]

I do hope you get a relief from it as well. It is unfortunately so common, but it's so easy to feel alone. Just so good to know there are outlets like this one. Thank you, and I wish you the best as well.

[Ollie33]

Hi I to suffer with anxiety even though I am so blessed with two kids And partner ...all started after my second child he is one now ...seeing a therApist helped me come To terms and understand my anxiety but I still have it a year later ,..

[Myshell]

Please seek early help, it is often proven more successful. Talk about how you are feeling, ask yourself if worrying has helped you/your situation now or in the past? We can often get stuck in a worry cycle, so my question may prove useful? What could you do instead of worrying?

I have been practising mindfulness, it's really living in the moment and enjoying it for what it is. As mums (in particular) our thoughts race ahead, when was the last feed? How long has baby slept? whats for tea? I need to pick up from school, etc etc etc.... But by allowing this, we miss the time right here and now. I walk my dog every day, pretty much the same route and I race ahead thinking I best hurry back, times ticking, I'll be late etc. I stopped and gave myself two minutes to actually take in my surroundings. I smelt the damp earth, watched the movement of the leaves, saw the sunshine light up part of the woods and cast shadows in others. I heard the bird song and noticed the different shades of green leaves on the floor. Two minutes and yet that feeling has lasted so much longer and my brain rested, had time out, relaxed. It works for me and may be worth a try?

Take care of yourself x

[ABlaker]

I did some research and found a community support group for people with Anxiety, Depression, and Bi-Polar disorder. The first meeting is tonight, my husband will be going with me to the first one. I am nervous, but I really think this is the step in the right direction to recovery. I appreciate all the kind words and advice, it's a relief to know that I am not suffering alone, because all to often I feel alone.

Thank you.