Raging hormones of course don't help. I have a baby that sleep through the night, it's such a blessing, but I still don't sleep. I lay there, staring at this beautiful baby boy and worry about everything. How can I be lucky enough to deserve him? Life seems too good to be true, but I worry it will all be ripped out from under me. Things in life always have. I live in fear, constant fear, and I can't kick it. Why can't I let myself be happy and enjoy my time with him? He's healthy, he's beautiful, he's my everything. I'm happily married, live in a quaint home, have a comfortable life, and still done feel at ease. I'm sick to my stomach all the time, I cry to myself often. I'm so scared it will all end. Please don't let this be a dream. Anxiety attacks have increased. I've had the shakes like a nervous dog. Mental health care is so poor in my state, and I can't afford to go to the psychiatrist. How do I learn to live for the moment and just be happy? Feeling hopeless.