Coming to terms that I do have anxiety and it's becoming a daily struggle.

[Imthedudeman]

I had a panic attack one time, yes one time about 4-5 years ago. I had gotten high, which I've done hundreds of times by this point, but this time it did a number on me. I was sitting there with my gf at the time and we smoked and I just felt like I needed to get away and be by myself. Well it's weird to just get up and leave so I took the dog for a walk in the backyard and then she comes walking out not long after and I remember feeling like "why are you out here? I just need alone time for a minute" I didn't say that, but anyway I felt my thoughts running rampant and I went back into the house and went into the bathroom where I proceeded to convince myself i was going crazy, I had no control over my thoughts, my heart was beating, my hands were sweating. I splashed water in my face trying to calm down. She was asking if I was ok from the other side of the door which I said yes, my stomach was just bothering me. About fifteen to twenty minutes later i came out and I was completely exhausted. I actually went and laid down i was so drained. I think I still live in fear of this moment. At first I told myself I just need to watch how much I smoke, and that it could only happen if I was high. Well that worked for a bit and then it started to creep into my life even if I was sober. The feeling of not being in control of my thoughts, getting disassociated, over thinking, feeling like I'm gonna snap and lose my sense of self. It's the point where almost any social encounter I have to attend, hours before I need to leave I start thinking about how I'm going to have a panic attack at the place I'm going, I'm going to be an embarrassment, I'm gonna make a scene, I'm gonna have to excuse myself to the restroom and just leave (if it's a public place). This isn't how I remember life. I would like to get a grip on this anxiety before it gets any worse. Even car trips Get me going. Like the thought of being trapped in a car with no escape. Like i feel I'm gonna go "pull over I need to get out!" That doesn't make for a good passenger or a fun time. I've been avoiding friends too. My safe place is definitely my apartment and I'm sure that's cuz I feel in control here. So ya that's my story in a nutshell. Thanks to anyone who read! Hope you're all doing well

[Agora1]

Hi Imthedudeman, and that's how it starts. One unexpected panic where you feel you are not in control and it continues to hound you with the "what ifs". Wanting to run, wanting not to feel embarrassed, needing to be alone is all a part of the big "A" disorder. I've been in the same position as you as well as many of us on the forum. The difference being that you have come to grips that this is anxiety and not a health issue. But knowing what it is and accepting it are two different things. I hid in my house for years with agoraphobia. The longer I hid, the more afraid I got to go somewhere. The "what ifs" controlled me. Within the last 2 years I have made a complete turnaround. I'm back out going places and never think about what if something happens. I am back in control. And dudeman, that's what it's all about CONTROL. I use deep breathing and relaxation techniques everyday which provides me with almost an immunity to stop any anxiety from escalating, That's either physically or mentally. You are on your way to the right path. Knowing what thoughts cause this is half way, accepting that the symptoms aren't harmful is coming home. Good Luck...

[Sandy1710]

Imthedudeman. Can totally relate. Mine was brought on during an evening on drugs. Makes me feel bad as it's brought on myself but I live in hell and fear now. As it was on drugs I always tell myself they must have done some serious damage and this cannot be just anxiety. I feel your pain totally.

[Zaizaii]

Hello 😊 Wenever i go out i face the same prob. Now i know hw to handle it. First u need to be strong inside of ur head. Never allow negativity to win over. I kind of talk to myself when i need to go out. Tell yourself that u r going out, you'll hv a good time and nothing wrong is going to happen. When u step out with positivity you will feel that a burden has been removed from your mind. And then if ever i feel that im starting to lose control, i do deep breathing. Breath in through ur nose and breath out through ur mouth as if u r inflating a balloon. And tell urself that u r fine n everything will b oki. I hope this helps 😉

[Agora1 in reply to Zaizaii]

Zaizaii, Way to Go!

[TheHighlyAnxious1]

Im going thru the exact same thing right now smh except now im becoming easily irritable and snap at the littlest things. I went for an interview at UPS about a week ago and out of nowhere panic attack and i just walked out. I am a step dad and have a full house, and i lock myself in the room out of fear of mispeaking to one of my children out of anger, frustration, fear idk exactly what the feeling is that im experiencing, but i know i have know control over it and i think that is the part that scares me the most. And i can also relate to the wanting to be alone which can be pretty hard especially in my current living situation and then my wife takes it personal and that starts and argument smh. I went into the ER right after the UPS visit which was not very helpful of course because as soon as i saw a doc im no longer in panic mode of course, but now just sitting there looking silly with no help. They asked me "what is it that you would like us to do for you?" I almost went off the deep end by that question but had to rationalize my thought process because i was not trying to have an extended stay or worse, but if i knew i wouldnt be here guys. So im currently suffering really bad with no meds and i feel have exhausted all remedies from breathing methods to hypnosis and meditation and to no avail. I think im going to have to get a prescription and then i get scared of the medicine because i seen someone say recently they take zoloft and im 1,000% positive that zoloft was involved in some suicide cases with some patients