I don't know what to do anymore... It's getting worse.... Or I'm thinking it is...

[The_Anxiety_War]

It's gotten worse.. Everything... My derealization, my anxiety, my depression, my stupid intrusive thought about already being blind (when my vision is 20/20 and I can see), the fearful thought of thinking myself into going blind (like thinking myself into seeing total darkness or becoming visually impaired, etc). I don't know what to do anymore.... I know the key is to accept and let go.. But I've always has a hard time dropping things.. I've always dwelled on stuff.. I'm destroying myself from the inside out.. I've tried being hard on myself, I've tried accepting, I've tried ignoring and I always feel like all these things are just gettiny worse... Especially the blind thought.. I know I can see.. I know I can or I couldn't do the daily things I do....but the past 2 days it has gotten worse.. Almost like everything I see is fake.. It's not real.. Like my vision is not real if that makes sense.. . It has been scaring me so much because to me.. Eyesight is very precious..and my derealization getting worse certainly hasn't helped at all.. This thought has kept me up till 4 am almost 5 am every night.... Always telling myself to enjoy what you can see cuz you never know..then I lay down eventually.. And then the fun really begins.. Opening my eyes every 30 minutes to make sure I'm not in eternal darkness... I know I'm making this worse on myself... But I don't know what to do.. I want to get my eyes tested to see if there can be any relief gained from it but I got my eyes tested in October 2017 and he said 20/20 eyes are perfect and healthy.. I don't experience blurry vision, double vision, distorted vision, tunnel vision, floaters, anything like that.. So it scares me more as to why I'm thinking like this.. Im afraid now that this is permanent.. That I ruined my brain somehow and I'm gonna be stuck like this.. I haven't given up.. Im fighting this for myself.. And my girlfriend.. Please someone just reply and help me on this and/or private message me...

[mysmugcat]

I've read your previous post. Have you ever spoken to the doctor about anti anxiety meds? When do you have your next CBT? Appointment and you can tell them/show them this post. Have you ever tried saying 'stop' when these thoughts come in your head and deliberately turning to another activity? I hope something I have said helps. I try to watch some comedy. It shifts my mindset a bit.

[Anxious2befree]

You need to shift your focus from your eyes to keeping yourself busy, read a book, go out, watch movies or just anything when you get those thoughts you need to distract yourself. Get on here and read others stories or write down your thoughts and feelings as you get them. I don't know what else to say but maybe go see a psychologist or try mindfulness online it's free. Also CBT online it's also free and going through the modules will shift your focus. Good luck X

[carrieblevins1998]

Almost everyone with severe anxiety worries all the time, even with a doctors reassurance you still worry. This is literally me all the time. When a doctor reassures me about 1 thing, another will come up. It's how anxiety works, it takes over your mind and tricks you into believing you have a serious medical condition. That's called health anxiety and I have it as well. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about meds. They might help.

[Indigojoe]

what did you see or hear when you were a kid that freaked you about about being blind? Did you see a documentary in grade school, did you know a kid, or hear your folks talking about and "aint' it awful" scene about someone going blind. A movie, anything??

There is a trigger thought that has you wrapped around it's finger.

THere is woman who went blind in later life, and became an artist! YEP an artist. Google it.

[The_Anxiety_War in reply to Indigojoe]

None of the above joe..i simply played around with the thoughts and now it went from some simple silly thought to hell on earth..