Feeling wiped out.

Hi there everybody, hope someone can help me. I have been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was 15 years old. I am in my 60s now, and since the age of 40 I suffered from nervous breakdown while looking after my father and I was working and just dropped . Couldn't walk terrible panic attacks I couldn't get off the chair for a month, with my partners help fast forward. I got reasonably better, my life is limited. I can go so far in the car , and then back I can't travel on holiday , which I haven't had for about ten years, my circumstances are now my husband has severe copd and shingles pain and I myself are worn out. I haven't had a setback like this for a year , my son in law come to visit and the pressure of cooking and doing the usual thing. The other morning I got up and my heart was racing and I couldn't walk I was also dizzy, I made a appointment at the doctors and he wants me to have a lot of blood tests and he looked in my ears and they are impacted with wax which he has given me olive oil drops to soften it and to see the nurse in two weeks. Anyway I have been getting a pain in my right ear but I hope it's the wax doing it. Inthe last few days I have been feeling exshated and so tired, it's a effort to get up and then I am scared of getting the panic attack I got the other morning. I feel dizzy inside not a spinning dizzy and wiped out. I haven't anybody to help me. It's a struggle to cook and clean each day. I did get in touch with a cleaner who sat talking about the cost of petrol for nearly a hour I asked her to leave. People,don't understand this anxiety I get and they say things like you need a holiday or a early night. I did win a holiday on the saga forum, but couldn't go as I didn't have any one to go with,and I dint have the confidence to go on my own because of the way I feel most days, I read Claire weeks books as they have got me through a lot over the years. I feel bad even writing this as I have no one who understands and as you people on here suffer from anxiety I might get some feedback I won't take medication as it makes me feel worse. I am so scared I am going to stay this bad again ,thankyou.

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Hello

Sorry about everything you are going through and I can hear clearly the anxiety in your post

You have a lot to cope with and just reading I thought it is no surprise you have had a set back , but that is what it is a set back and the fear you feel that this will be forever you have to try and dismiss as that is the anxiety trying to get hold as it feeds of the fear

You really could do with some help , is there no organizations at all that could give you some support ? have you told your Doctor just how much you struggle now caring for your husband and you need some support they should be able to help

I can understand why you would have asked the cleaner to leave but that was just one , it could be a good idea to still keep looking for one to come in and help , there are some good one's out there but sometimes we have to meet a few before we find the right one for us

Now your ear problem , I have just been going through exactly the same thing

For 3 years I have been getting ear infections

Then the last time I went I was told I had wax and it is just the one ear even though both can hurt sometimes but was told the one I get the problems with needed syringing

Now I was given drops but mine had Bicarbonate soda in them , I wish mine had been olive oil because it made the wax swell and I felt more blocked up than ever , thought I would go mad it was so uncomfortable and then of course the anxiety was trying to kick in !

Anyway I went and had it done and once cleared I was told I had catarrh in my ear

I thought in my ear ! but yes I suppose ear , nose and throat all connected

So drops for my nose , told to steam with some menthol oil and it would clear up and it has been a slow process but it is getting a little better

So please try not to worry , it will be sorted , and after they have removed the was either ask the nurse or go back and ask the Doctor if there is anything else like an infection or who knows you could have catarrh , but it could also be as simple as once unblocked it all clears up as when it is blocked the nerves connecting in all that area are very sensitive and this can give some pain

Have you had your vitamin D or iron levels taken ?

I know I feel very tired and again anxiety can make us feel this way but also so many of us can find we are low in vitamin D or Iron

I had my vitamin D done and I was exceptionally low and had to go on strong vitamin D so if your results all come back normal which they no doubt will and they have not tested your vitamin levels ask them to do it , they sometimes don't want to but if you push them and insist you want them taking they do give in and I am so glad I did as my Doctor was dismissing it and I was right , so it was worth me pushing the matter with her

With you feeling everything is getting on top of you it sounds like it is time to thin out what you are taking on

If someone wants to come and stop over , you can always say I just can't do it at the moment , no shame in that or if they want to lets say stop 3 days you can turn round and say just make it 2 days , instead of cooking you could say we will have to order in because I am just not up to it !

We need to take back control , never easy as we think we should be " Super Women " but we are not and sometimes we have to put ourselves first or as you are experiencing we just make ourselves ill and when we have there is no one to look after us as well as we are not well enough to look after any one else !

The house and the work that comes with it , until hopefully you get some help , just make a plan where you do so much each day , only what you can do not what your mind tells you you should do and accepting you are not on top form at the moment when you achieve doing these little tasks give yourself so praise and if you don't manage it then that is your body letting you know it needs to rest

The house work will always be there , no one will give us a medal for been super clean and you and then your husband have to come first so for now make that your priority the rest will fall into place

I have gone on a bit so will stop now but please remember this is just a set back things will come good again , so be kind to yourself while they do

Take Care x

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Thanks for your kind reply, I still,feel dizzy it comes in waves and a nauseous feeling. I have felt depressed today, went shopping but felt rough in the checkout.but went through the motions and cooked dinner which was late . Hope your right and it's just a setback I keep thinking I have some dreadful illness or ear virus. I am so tired its like a tiredness I had years ago where I kept having to lay down during the day, I spoke to my daughter today on the phone and she said take anti depressants.. I said no I have been down that road .i think under the circumstances I should feel some depression .i can't take medication as I have a tablet phobia .anyway thanks again for your input. I appreciate it as my family don't understand anxiety .

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Hello

Well well done for going through the motions of today as I know sometimes that feels like a mountain we have climbed and give yourself some credit for doing so

I am still having issues with my ear and also thinking about going back to the Doctors but I have to think I have been having this so long now if it was anything dreadful as you put it then I am sure I would have known by now and I am sure the same for you to

After you have had it syringed you could find that is all that was needed , it is when we are low and feeling anxious our minds come up with these crazy thoughts but they are just that thoughts that we need to try and push to one side because they are not reality

I always say I get down and yes sometimes can feel depressed , but I know why I feel down and I know if I could change certain things these feelings would go away , to me and maybe not everyone people that are suffering with depression nothing can make that feeling go away not even if everything in their life's were perfect , so maybe you are depressed but maybe you feel this way because of how things are at the moment , you know deep down if you need medication and I also have a fear of meds so I refuse them but I have known over the years that if I really had no other way I would take them despite my fear but I have managed without so far

The tired feeling , I wish you could could get away and have a couple of days maybe at a spa just getting pampered you sound so worn out that something like that could be just what you need but I know this would not be possible but where ever you can if you can try & put some time to one side just to do what you want to do for you as when we are caring for others we can forget we need caring for to

Try if you can and get those vitamin D and iron checked out again this could very well be adding to this feeling of been tired and like I said worth having them checked

Let us know how you get on and especially what the outcome of your ear , I am sure it will be fine

Hope tomorrow you will find some time to relax and put your feet up x

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Thanks lulu-1. I have had my blood tested come back normal still waiting for thyroid blood test.the nurse syringed one ear, but it was painful , so I have asked the doctor to refer me to the ent clinic. As I feel light headed and nearly as if I am going to faint, can't walk properley, I have to use a trolley as my balance is bad. I got my self a tonic from holland and Barrett and have had a bad night last night felt dizzy in bed couldn't sleep felt like a panic attack , got up at 6 o'clock and have been to the toilet 3 times feel weak now and scared to lay down as it's a wired feeling. I also have been taking garlic 300mg for my colestral which is a little bit high, I don't know what to do anymore about myself.i can't cope with myself or my husbands illness,as it's hard to watch him going down the pain.i wondering if this situation is causing these panic attacks.the only help I can get is a career coming in to wash and put my husband to bed etc. Which he does himself. I feel sometimes like giving up. Although I am strong, it's really dragging me down when I try to help myself with tonic and vitamins I get dreadful stomach pains. Any information would be appreciated. I must sound like a selfish person, going on about myself , but people don't realise how dreadful anxiety is and panic attacks I try and help with everyday chores,as my son thinks I am strong and doing well, he helps out now and again. .