18 and these feelings have started - am I broken?

Hi!

So i'm new to this and this is a big step. I've always palmed off the 'a' word, and even more so with the 'd' word, I get scared to associate myself with anything that could be a mental illness. I've always been really happy, laid back and liked in school and college.

I left sixth form in the summer and went to Ibiza for 6 weeks. The day before I went away at home I had a panic attack for the first time in my room. It was my sister birthday party that night so it was soon forgotten! Then when i got to ibiza also i had one that night after going to Space. This unreal heat palpitation begun and continued for two three days and I was so scared I went to Spanish Doctor. He put it down to taking ecstasy and gave me diazepam. The diazepam helped but I still had anxious feelings on and off for 6 weeks. Some times I had few days where i forgot all about it but other days I was driven to tears. Now i'm home and at first it was really weird. Home seemed really different and I started getting even more worried anxious because I thought I'd messed my head up by using occasional drugs in Ibiza (Ket Cocaine Ecstasy and lot of weed). Life has started to return to normal again abit but I always have a lingering sad mood, even on good days. My chest feels tight and I get knots in my stomach. I was at doctor and mentioned all what had happened to him - including drugs - and he was really nice and said that is just bit of anxiety from the big change in life 0 leaving school getting job etc. He said to avoid the drugs i mentioned above as they can bring on the physical side effects of anxiety. Just hearing someone say its normal helped but that seems along time ago now.He gave me no meds and for few weeks after I started to feel a lot better. So better that i stopped doing mindfulness meditation everyday on headspace .com. But on my days off from work now I do get down and have to plan things to do to keep busy.

The main things I HATE with me atm is the fact that I always zone out. My vision goes blurry and mind races with worries, but I cant even pinpoint them, I just feel on edge about nothing! I think its just because life is changing to be honest, but i just want reassurance from anyone who's gone through this weird spell so young! Or Anyone!

Will this get better? And how?

Any advice please would be appreciated so much, I am scared abit that I cant be the person I was.

I'm not going to take any hard drugs for a while! But I still smoke weed with tobacco! After I smoke it sometimes it chills me out sometimes it brings anxiety on! I cant pinpoint it! Please any help!

And thanks for reading, If i can offer any support to you I will!

Matt

Skip

Featured Content

Anxiety affects us all

Come and join our community. Get advice and support on thousands of topics around anxiety.

Take a look!

Featured by HealthUnlocked

4 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I must also mention that only 6 months ago I had major knee surgery! I've only just joined gym again and started exercising which has made me feel better but also not being able to play football is annoying, maybe sub consciously that is having effect? I don't know, just thinking out loud

  • Definitely dealing with some anxiety, the symptoms you mention and the panic attacks are all very common - so no, you are definitely not broken. I don't use drugs (my preference is red wine), but I am sure they are contributing to your symptoms.

    Glad you are exercising, it is so helpful in eliminating the nervous energy that builds up. It also increases serotonin production in your brain which is a "feel good" chemical.

    Nicotine and caffeine can also create anxiety, so try to limit those too. Get plenty of sleep.

    Panic attacks are scary, especially the first ones, because we don't know what is happipening and it feels like we are losing it. When it happens, just take deep breaths, relax and wait it out. They always stop and can't hurt you. Just scary.

    The zoning out and blurry vision are normal as well. I have experienced that many times. Once you know they are just anxiety symptoms they lose their power.

    I hope this helps a little. You WILL be OK. Do some research on anxiety and read the book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Claire Weekes. I think it will make you feel much better.

  • Thank you Sulley for the Time and Care you've put into this post. I just want to go back to the life of only a few months ago where I didn't have a clue what anxiety was. I think I will get there in no time if I continue mindfulness exercises and accept that this is normal. I hope you are well.

    Matt

  • Matt, sorry for the delayed reply. You are welcome. How are you doing?

You may also like...