So i'm new to this and this is a big step. I've always palmed off the 'a' word, and even more so with the 'd' word, I get scared to associate myself with anything that could be a mental illness. I've always been really happy, laid back and liked in school and college.
I left sixth form in the summer and went to Ibiza for 6 weeks. The day before I went away at home I had a panic attack for the first time in my room. It was my sister birthday party that night so it was soon forgotten! Then when i got to ibiza also i had one that night after going to Space. This unreal heat palpitation begun and continued for two three days and I was so scared I went to Spanish Doctor. He put it down to taking ecstasy and gave me diazepam. The diazepam helped but I still had anxious feelings on and off for 6 weeks. Some times I had few days where i forgot all about it but other days I was driven to tears. Now i'm home and at first it was really weird. Home seemed really different and I started getting even more worried anxious because I thought I'd messed my head up by using occasional drugs in Ibiza (Ket Cocaine Ecstasy and lot of weed). Life has started to return to normal again abit but I always have a lingering sad mood, even on good days. My chest feels tight and I get knots in my stomach. I was at doctor and mentioned all what had happened to him - including drugs - and he was really nice and said that is just bit of anxiety from the big change in life 0 leaving school getting job etc. He said to avoid the drugs i mentioned above as they can bring on the physical side effects of anxiety. Just hearing someone say its normal helped but that seems along time ago now.He gave me no meds and for few weeks after I started to feel a lot better. So better that i stopped doing mindfulness meditation everyday on headspace .com. But on my days off from work now I do get down and have to plan things to do to keep busy.
The main things I HATE with me atm is the fact that I always zone out. My vision goes blurry and mind races with worries, but I cant even pinpoint them, I just feel on edge about nothing! I think its just because life is changing to be honest, but i just want reassurance from anyone who's gone through this weird spell so young! Or Anyone!
Will this get better? And how?
Any advice please would be appreciated so much, I am scared abit that I cant be the person I was.
I'm not going to take any hard drugs for a while! But I still smoke weed with tobacco! After I smoke it sometimes it chills me out sometimes it brings anxiety on! I cant pinpoint it! Please any help!
And thanks for reading, If i can offer any support to you I will!