Not convinced it's anxiety.. I just feel too awful.

I freak out all day every day. Screaming, crying, I think out of frustration over my anxiety and dp/dr. I feel sick all the time too. Sometimes in weird ways I can't explain, sometimes just nausea and dizziness. Every emotion I feel that isn't anxiety scares me, which makes me anxious. I'm having such a hard time. It's getting so bad I'm afraid it's schizophrenia or some physical thing or something. Even though I've had tests. I'm just afraid I'm going to end up in a mental hospital for the rest of my life. And YES I'm in therapy but only once a week and I have a horrible memory so it doesn't really help, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist but not nearly enough and I feel like they don't care about how I feel and they think their medication will be the "cure-all". When I tell them it's not working or I'm experiencing side effects they act confused and that discourages me even more and makes me feel like i'm some weird, incurable case. I don't know what to do anymore.


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17 Replies

  • You aren't going to end up in a mental hospital for the rest of your life. After a few people tell you this maybe you'll believe us. Anxiety really can make you feel all of these weird things. When you're anxious, every second is agony and time drags along. That's why your once a week app't. with the psychiatrist isn't enough for you and the Drs. don't seem to care. They can't possibly react to you and care fast enough and as many times an hour as you need them to. And you can't focus long enough to remember what is said in therapy. You probably still absorb a lot of what's said in therapy anyway without being able to say exactly what you heard.

    Since you don't get much response from the psychiatrist or therapist regarding the drug(s) you're taking, try talking to your pharmacist about side effects and why you don't think a drug is working. Let him or her explain the answers to you and then you can go back to the others with that knowledge in hand. The pharmacist is the most knowledgeable on the subject of drugs and should speak to you quietly and keep the talk in confidence, telling no one about it.

    If I was you, I'd ask my Dr. why am I not on a drug to lessen my anxiety? Your anxiety is very high. What is he or she waiting for? (Don't word it that way) Could you have a drug to cover your anxiety until it's not needed anymore? I know I'm probably "making trouble" to this Dr., but to leave your anxiety this strong and untreated doesn't make sense to me. How does he expect any progress to be made? It seems you need to be treated with something more effective for anxiety.

    I am not a psychiatrist, but I've put in my 27 years as a patient with both depression and anxiety disorders and done a tremendous amount of research, observation and specific learning. Sixteen years of CBT and common sense also help. You're getting my opinion, not a Dr's. My psychiatrists have given me compliments on my astuteness and character which I say just so you will give my opinion some thought. Take care of yourself and ((((BIG HUGS))))) to you!

  • Thank you so much! This is very helpful. it's just easy to get discouraged and I feel like my life has come to a halt.

  • I feel this exact same way especially these past few days. I feel like iam losing it! I cant even sleep without being scared and that is getting in the way of my sleep. Its 12am and iam still awake trying to fall asleep i feel like iam falling and then i wake up jumpy it suckss!!

  • I've been there. Believe me and it does get better. If you feel your therapist isn't helpful or caring, think about changing them. The most important thing is to NOT overthink and over analyze your thoughts and feelings. Try to distract yourself, watch your favorite memories, read a good book, go for a walk, go shopping. Your mind needs to relax so that it can become calm and get out of this anxiety cycle. The more you think about it, the worse it becomes. If what you have is Depersonalization, this is what I suggest.

  • Thank you! I know I need to distract myself but sometimes it's hard for me to get out and do things because of the dizziness and overwhelming out of it feelings. But I'll keep trying.

  • I know EXACTLY what you mean about the falling asleep waking up jumpy thing. I don't really know how to fix it.. other than just waiting until you're dead-tired and eventually pass out lol.

  • I feel the exact same way. I think it is lyme disease. Meds affect me horribly, I feel like I'm going insane, emdr doing nothing for what I thought was ptsd. No memory and trouble learning. Going to lose my job for sure. Pulled a tick from my head six months ago and downhill ever since. Supposedly lyme can cause skiz symptoms. I feel that too. I also have about twenty physical symptoms and that cant be described by anxiety. I used to have anxiety before I got the tick. This is something different! You been bit?

  • I don't think it's lyme for me but have you had blood tests? I talked to my doctor about lyme because I have pets.

  • I have felt this way for two months. I started therapy and I have been amazed what I was suppressing and keeping from myself.

    You are your best advocate and If you don't feel right, stand up and tell them but I think you have to do the same thing with you therapist or psychiatrist. If you don't mesh don't be afraid. You will find someone who can help you.

    The biggest thing I have found is conference and courage are so key. I totally understand how you feel as I have lost confidence in my mind and my body and thus I have spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars trying to solve a physical problem that isn't broken.

    Anxiety came into my life like a falling star, with no warning. It has scared and shocked me and broken me down to my core but as I have been through therapy and I continue examine myself I have realized my core was rotten and devoid of any sort of coping skills. One small health scare they my doctors think was my first panic attack was enough to crack me.

    I just keep telling myself, as I get older, I am 32 now, that there will actually be issues to deal with me and anxiety has given me the keys to build a new and stronger person.

    I did not respond to medication. It made me worse off but I didn't give it a chance either because I was scared. My life is fear.

    What helps me is to read. Go to your bookstore and get a book on anxiety and just read. It can be a self help book or just a library book about anxiety disorders. It comforts me because it gives what I have been having a name. Know thy enemy. That is what I say to myself and it gives me courage.

    Keep pushing to find a therapist that works do you. Over the last 6 weeks of therapy and reading, I have come to terms with the fact that I have acute stress disorder which is made worse by the fact that I have traits of a borderline personality disorder. This labels don't scare me they help me understand that the bricks and mortor that I used to build my mind and personiltiy were not well constructed. Now I have to rebuild from the ground up. As a fixer by nature, this is helps me cope. I now get to fix myself. I am rediscovering faith, I am discovering things about myself that I lied to myself about for years. I am not embarrassed to say during one therapy session I got to a point I was so broken and crying I said without even thinking it, I just want my mom. I was crying and wanted my mother. At 32 that was the only coping skill I had. From that point I continue to work my way up and try to build a better person for my wife and my children. I had to learn to find closure. I never closed anything. Anxiety is like that too. You have to find closure in the fact that this has happened to you and now it's time to be strong. Find your courage. We are all here for you.

  • Pat,

    Through therapy you can discover things that are missing or need work within yourself and that's good to learn. You can see how you want to grow and change and become the person you want to be. Probably all of us have an aspect of ourselves where we'd like to see some improvement if only we would take the time to work on it and knew how to make the change.

    But let me propose that when some people have high anxiety levels day after day, and their thoughts are turning from health fear to health fear, they may fear that they have some personality flaw or major developmental problem that they really don't have.

    I commend you for looking at yourself and facing the truth as you found it. Also for making changes for the better and unselfishly taking your family into consideration.

    I caution other readers with high anxiety not to be quick to conclude you have some psychiatric disorder or personality disorder or flaw or are just like Pat. Anxiety likes to attach itself to something like a diagnosis because that's it's nature---somehow it's less scary if anxiety has a name and a limit rather than simply unnamed anxiety floating around all the time. That's why people with high anxiety tend to think they have this disease or that disease or this other disease...naming it contains it and makes the anxiety seem under your control in some strange way. But that doesn't mean you have the disease or problem at all. Try not to diagnose yourself just because you're very anxious. Your diagnosis is: HIGHLY ANXIOUS.

  • Great point! It isn't one size fits all. That is for darn sure!

  • Hi Someone!

    What you are experiencing sounds normal for someone who has anxiety. Try to find a holistic doctor who believes in treating patients with natural remedies. Sometimes those "mental medicines" causes more problems than they fix, it seems. Also, try reading a good book (humorous or inspirational). The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers might be of help to you. You are not alone and are not crazy. However, the more you focus on the way you feel, the worst the symptoms get sometimes. Try focusing on something else. Feeling anxious makes you want to scream "I can't take it anymore!" But you can take it and you have support at this website. Hope and pray you are feeling better.

  • I second the idea of reading "The Battlefield of the Mind". Everyone should read this book at least once and probably more than once throughout their lives.

  • You're not alone. I've felt all of this before. It's hard to sometimes believe that others know how you feel but we do. All the way down to the "unexplainable " symptoms. Hang in there xx

  • Wow you sound like me I'm still thinking it's not anxiety but because I am labelled now nobody even want a to believe me but my body really doesn't feel right and meds aren't doing what they should 😢

  • Another great book for anxiety is "At last a life" by Paul David. Helped me a lot

  • I have been feeling the same a lot lately. I saw my doctor today and had another EKG which indicated that my heart is perfectly healthy. The doctor even joked and said that my heart is in better condition then his. I have constant aches and pains in my chest and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I really sympathise and can relate completely about how u feel. I hope u feel better.

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