Misunderstood

[Stay_strong85]

I have been alienated by almost my whole family. They act like my disorders are my own personal choice and that I am simply a bad person. So tired of this. I get so many headaches and cry so much. Anyone else feel so misunderstood by their family and even friends? Please help...I literally have no one that I feel comfortable talking to.

[Agora1]

Hi Stay_strong85, you can always feel safe and comfortable on the forum. Yes it is a terrible feeling to be alienated by family and friends. Why they would think that anyone would choose to live like this is beyond me. I've been there with the multiple headaches and crying jags day after day. It's a lonely place to be in when you are not understood. No one even took notice when I came off my benzos and started feeling better. I think they might have thought that I just decided to feel good one day. Talk to us, we all understand what it's like.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I have the same problem with my family. They act like I'm doing this on purpose. Did you come off benzos because you were feeling better. Because I'm on benzos for four years. They are not working anymore. I recently reduced from 3mg to 21/2 mg and am feeling worse.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

puppy11, I was left on benzos for years, every day that little piece of pill I'd take until one day it no longer worked and I was put in the hospital were they tried additional drugs and doses. Trial and error. When I got out I made the decision after attending a drug addiction program that I wanted out from benzos. I listened and trusted my doctors with that small dose and it made me dependent. I never abused the dose. With the approval of my psych doctor, I slowly weaned off the benzo. Took me 2 years and another year or so of healing. I am now more myself than I ever was. It's a good feeling. Take care puppy, I know it's hard but so worth it.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Agora1]

I can't believe it took me so long to heal from benzos too. Gross

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

How often did you take them? If you don't mind me asking...

[Justneedpeace in reply to Stay_strong85]

For 3 months!

Its took me years to heal.

It's been 4 and last year it came back with a vengence too.

Still dealing with the same level of anxiety as i did when I forced myself to get off them. They caused a break down for me.

My anxiety was tolerable but I wanted something to take that edge off...

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

But did you take benzos everyday, multiple times or just half a pill here and there?

[Justneedpeace in reply to Stay_strong85]

A half a pill here and there

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

Oh ok that is not bad.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Stay_strong85]

its not bad. but it's all it took for me to make everything worse.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

How so? I am Just trying to get input cause i am on benzos too, but only as needed.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Hidden]

It is awful family doesn't want to help us.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I have been dealing with my family for four years. Yelling at me acting like I'm doing this on purpose. Being mean. It's so hard with no support. I go to a bible church for support. It's sad not even my husband. Most of the time I cry is because of them or the anxiety. They make the anxiety worse.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I know I believe that. I always thought if I weren't beaten down so much emotionally, I would have gotten better a long time ago. When you don't even have your home as a safe haven, it's very difficult to not get overwhelmed.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Agora1]

It makes it so hard.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Hidden]

I am sorry. Sad to say my mother and grandmother treat me like pure junk.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Agora1]

My own mother is the most hard on me and unsupportive. She bad mouths me to my siblings instead of be honest with herself and how bad she treats her mentally ill daughter (me). It is really hard. And now after my visit to the doctor today I need even more support, but none of my family seems to care. They are all ignoring me. I am seriously very lost and empty right now, but keeping my hope and faith alive.

[sunnyg]

A lot of your anxiety has to do with your family not loving you unconditionally. It has been proven that if we aren't filled up with love and security and affection that we become anxious. Can you see a therapist about this so you can let it all out?

[Stay_strong85 in reply to sunnyg]

I cannot go to therapy any time soon. I have no income yet. My family is not loving or supportive in the most important times, not to me that is. 😶

[Hidden]

😢

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

What's the matter Rissa? Are you okay?

[Hidden]

I'm upset that people feel this way. I'm upset that I feel the way i do. I'm just sick of it 😢😢 why is this even a thing anymore

[WarriorPrincess88]

That's why I haven't got a relationship with my family...except 2 sisters.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to WarriorPrincess88]

I am the outcast...because I am sensitive, genuine, and generous, and forgiving...but mom trained them all to hate me. She tells me I am crazy and a horrible person, and bad mouths my mental illness, shouldn't a mom be supportive especially if she knows her daughter is struggling so bad? 🙁

[LDS32]

Instead of being angry with them just look at it they don't know any better. If they haven't been through it they don't understand. I've been told by people close to me that I need to "man up" and "stop doing this to yourself". It's especially hard for them to understand cuz I had an 8 year period with little or no anxiety going to concerts flying to Vegas you name it. But it came back unfortunately.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to LDS32]

I understand. Yes, you are right. And see I was one of the strongest ones out of her kids, and as a woman in the family being the first to have a career and supoort myself etc...now that I am a wreck and jobless and down they all make fun of me instead of have compassion. But they do not understand, I know. Still hard for me to do alone.

[LDS32 in reply to Stay_strong85]

No matter how bad it is (and believe me I know) just remember two things. 1.anxiety won't kill you. 2 . eventually it goes away.

[Hidden in reply to LDS32]

I have anxiety for 4 years and it's never gone away. I reduced klonopin from 3mg to21/2mg 4 weeks ago and I have anxiety bad. I'm scared of the anxiety so it won't go away my family is unsupportive

[Justneedpeace in reply to LDS32]

Mine came back with a vengence..

[LDS32 in reply to Justneedpeace]

Sorry to hear that. Just gotta claw out of it like before.

[Justneedpeace in reply to LDS32]

Yeah. Been trying for over a year now. Feel like I aged myself in doing so.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

Mine too. Was gone 3 years. Then many more before that, now I have full blown severe panic disorder.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Stay_strong85]

Yay, thanks xanax!

I guess we can only get better from here though. It makes us stronger somehow.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

Ok so you are still struggling, or recovering? Sorry, I am confused.

[Justneedpeace in reply to Stay_strong85]

Nov of last year I was out with friends and someone gave me a pill to stay up because I was tired. I felt all anxious the next day and had a full blown meltdown the day after. Haven't been ok since really. turns out it was adderall. Kick in the same flight or flight that happened when xanax did the same thing and I got of it.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Justneedpeace]

Ohhhhh ok I see what you're saying. Geez, sorry to hear that.

[Stan_K]

Hi Stay_strong85. One of the most important and most frustrating things that I had to realize is that no-one is going to understand something that they have no knowledge about or if they don't want to gain knowledge about. The sad and frustrating part about it is that we all expect for our family and friends to have sympathy and at least show that they care in our time of need. In a lot of ways, being independent makes us stronger: especially with anxiety and other disorders. What I've learned to do in order to cope with the lack of support and understanding is to change my schedule, the way I think, get outside, go for long walks, exercise, meditate, and focus on the positives. We are all much stronger than we think and it DOES get better. It's literally all in your mind, trust me. Your attitude and mentality can cause your body to feel a certain way and one of the most stressful things is that it's very easy for us to get down on ourselves and stay down. Don't worry about your family and friends not caring much or being upset. Pretty soon, the tears will stop falling and you'll see the changes in yourself, and so will your family and friends. It also helps a lot when you listen to others who have gone through similar scenarios. Talk to GOD and pray about it and try to get out of the house and keep yourself busy both physically and mentally. It will definitely do wonders in the future, trust me. Keep in touch. I'll be here to help you through whatever you need help with. I've had anxiety for about 15 years and when I tell you that I started at about a 9 out of 10(10 being the worst possible feelings ever, couldn't drive, go anywhere, ride in a car, go to the movies, church, etc), I've managed with prayer and no meds(which may not be for everyone) to come down to about a 2 which is pretty comfortable. Don't hesitate to contact me whenever you need. I'll be praying for you.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Stan_K]

Thank you very much. I unfortunately got to a point where I need meds, temporarily, but I am not giving up. I totally get what you are saying and I appreciate it. 😊thanks.

[Stan_K in reply to Stay_strong85]

You're very welcome! I too started taking meds at one point, but they made me feel kind of weird. Not physically weird. Just an overall weird sensation(idk, maybe I was under medicated influence) lol!!!!!! I began feeling better and didn't need the meds after about to prescription re-fills. Things will get better, trust me!!

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Stan_K]

...thank you for your prayers. I can use many seeing as my faith has been broken. Not giving up tho...I used to be very close to God.

[Stan_K in reply to Stay_strong85]

You're welcome! One thing that we have to remember about the negative things that we go through is that GOD doesn't want us to feel bad or live in a negative manner. I know it's hard, sometimes extremely hard- but, we have to focus on GOD bringing us out of whatever it is. It got to a point to where I literally told GOD " okay GOD, I can't do this anymore - it's in your hands " and I just left it alone(kind of like throwing away a bacon cheeseburger when you have horrible cholesterol) and it got better only moments after. I unconsciously threw away my thoughts and dwelling on anxiety and depression as if it were trash and a glimpse of a positive feeling along with a rush of negative energy or negative spirit actually left my body. It was almost as if there were two me's in one body and the negatively thinking, anxiety filled, worrying and depressed form of me, had beaten the positive, happy me, out of existence. I knew right then and there that I could get out of it. We've all fallen short of GOD's word and have lost faith(we're only human), but put just a small amount of faith back into GOD and he'll show up. Trust me! Hope you're having a good day!

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Stan_K]

😟😢😭I know...I know I need to. I pray to him, then realize deep inside it was not genuine trust in him...like I still fully question him being there. And I never used to be this way, I actually was so close to him that I trusted him with my entire life and being and was HAPPY! Now I can't find it...

[Stan_K in reply to Stay_strong85]

I understand exactly what you're saying and the one thing that I realized while I was stuck crawling through a dark tunnel that seemed to have no end was that GOD sometimes allows us to go through certain things in order to restore our faith in him and so that we can help others in need. Without my downfall, I may not have ended up here. We wouldn't cherish the value of positivity without any negative experiences.

[Agora1 in reply to Stan_K]

Very true Stan_K, that was my story as well. If I was going to feel alone then I was going to block everyone out of my life and concentrate on myself. No advice, no put downs, just me doing what I had to in order to heal. Today, I am free, I am me once again. I proud to have done it alone. Wishing you continued success.

[Stan_K in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for your response Agora1! Sometimes, all we need to do is get away from everything that's always around us. The one thing that I could always do was get out of the house and walk around. I live out in the woods and that was the most pleasant thing to do at the time. Pretty soon, I added exercise, started reading and writing, and I changed my diet. I started listening to music a whole lot more and I've also downloaded a lot of self-help techniques, breathing exercises, and I always listen to and watch videos of other peoples' experiences and problems which helps a lot in sustaining positivity because you know that you're not the only person experiencing these things. I am so glad that you are free and back to being you, a better you! I thank you so much and I also wish you continued success! Thanks again Agora1!

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I'm so anxious and scared and can't stop. Please help and I am on meds

[Hidden in reply to Stan_K]

I've had anxiety for 4 years. I'm on klonopin 21/2mg and pristiq. My anxiety is worse than ever I reduced klonopin from 3 to 21/2mg four weeks ago. Please help

[Stan_K in reply to Hidden]

Hi puppy11. Well, one thing that helped me out a whole lot is I started keeping a journal and I documented everything that I felt and everything that happened and at the end of the day, I read it. I can't begin to tell you how stupid I felt after reading what I had written. Simple things caused me to think that I was going to freak out. It was a clear and sunny day and a gentle breeze began to blow and I thought a tornado was about to form and I began rushing back to my car and halfway there, I realized that the wind had stopped and little kids were running around playing lol. What I'm trying to say is that it's all in your head. You have to recognized what makes you feel anxious and panicky and ask yourself WHY. Then, you have to tell yourself that nothing bad is going to happen to you because it's not. I was also on medication at first(Zoloft) but it made me feel weird -like I was doped up or high lol! I know that it's tough, but you have to be strong enough to confront yourself. I started exercising, walking a lot, sitting outside listening to music, doing yoga, reading and writing, and it did wonders for me. Pretty soon, I was back to my old self. You may have to change your schedule and your diet(just a little). I did and I learned that my other schedule was stressing me out because it had overloaded my brain and my energy, even though it wasn't a negative schedule. The world can cause so much negativity even when we don't notice it. Take baby steps towards becoming better. A clear and peaceful mind can be 90% of the solution because that's where it all stemmed from. You have to calm down and look at the situation as a whole and do some self-diagnosis of how you feel, what makes you feel that way, and why. After all, if the meds aren't working - it won't hurt to try something different. I hope this helps puppy11.

[Hidden in reply to Stan_K]

Thanks. I'm always crying and scared. I'm going to lose my family.

[rome43]

yes yes yes...over the years i have become alienated from most my family members. I feel misunderstood and to be honest i dont think they care enough to try to understand. Unfortunately, i have discovered there are several really selfish self centered self absorbed people in my family and a lot of ignorance too. It is sad that the very social circle we are born into the people that are supposed to love and care about us are sometimes the most toxic to be around. I dont get it bc i am nothing i mean nothing like any of them.