Feeling Like A Normal Life is Impossible...Please Help!!!

Hello everyone. Im dire straits of help or any advice I can be given. My first bout of "anxiety" was on Christmas Eve in 2013. I was traveling to my sister's home. After eating a piece of peppermint candy, it felt as if a piece of candy was stuck in my throat. All of a sudden, I got the sensation that I could not get enough oxygen. After arriving to my sister's house, my friend gave me.5 xanax to see if it will relieve my symptoms. I was able to calm down and went through the next 2 and a half years with minor issues yet manageable. However in the Spring of 2016, life took a turn for the worse. I have been getting hit with everything under the son. My child's father and I are not getting along, my father got sick leaving me to finacially provide for myself, daughter, and parents as well as run the errands/transportation, financially, depleted, had a 25 year old cousin pass away due to a asthma attack which lead to a massive heart attack, and had a friend pass away of cardiac arrest who was 50 years old. After all of of this, my symptoms have completely ruined my life. I have constant chest pain and tightness in the center of my chest and left of my breastbone in which radiates to my upper back, arm pits, arms, and jaw, Weakness in my hands and legs, constant shortness of breath, lightheadness, headaches, knots/numbess in my throat. I have no relief from the shortness of breath and the chest psin typically kicks in during the evening and last all night long. I can only sleep with tylenol pm. I didnt take one last night and did,not fall asleep until 7am this morning. I struggle to make it through work which kills me because I love my job. Things are looking up financially and im still feeling absolutely horrible. Im scared that I will die in any minute. I have been to the er on countless occasions, had everything from chest xrays, ct scans, ekg's, and bloodwork which were all normal. I also spend overnight for observation of my heart and again everything normal. They sum it up to anxiety and gerd. Ive visited my pcp who has prescribed me zoloft and buspar. Ive been on it for the past month will no results. My pcp referred me to a pulmonary doctor which I will see soon but does bot believe I have any respiratory issues. I plan to also visit a therapist as soon as my health insurance begins the 1st of the year, ive researched anxiety techniques over and over with no outcome. I am helpless in this point and basically live within the four walls of my home. Im scared that im having a heart attack because Im obese and a smoker (30, F, 5'3, 306lbs). I am trying to work on changing my lifestyle but its just difficult when I feel like im suffocating. I know the cigarettes dont help but I feel as if it is the only outlet I have. Could this 24 7 nightmare truly be anxiety? What can I do to get on the track if getting my life back? Someone please help me 😢😢😢 im miserable like this. Also, my doctor did mention sleep apnea as the cause of some of this.


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23 Replies

  • Hi there anxiety truly is horrible! Do you drink coffee? Coffee is really bad for anxiety so try to give that up as a first step. Definitely going to the therapist is a good step. I would also recommend a book called DARE by barry mcdonagh it helped me a lot to understand anxiety and how to get rid of it. I think once you take the steps above and start feeling a bit better then it would be a good idea to get in shape eat healthier etc as all this will have an impact.

    Best wishes :)

  • Thank you very much for your advice it had meant so much. Often I find myself feeling slone or if no one understands. I'm not a coffee drinker,however I do drink sodas. I think the most difficult part if this battle is accepting the anxiety. I have a hard time believing that im mot dying of heart disease. How did you cop with health anxiety? i don't want to keep focusing,on dying everyday smh.

  • It's sounds like you have a plate full. I've had a rough year as well and I've had new symptoms of anxiety that have scared me to death. It helps to have someone to call or an anxiety hotline. It helps to talk to someone during the worst times to remind you that what you're feeling is normal for anxiety. There are all types of symptoms and our thoughts can definitely make things worse. It's not enough for us to try and convince ourselves we need the assurance from someone else.

    Hope that helps

  • It's full blown panic and anxiety disorder.

    The weight stuff might be something entirely different and you need to speak with your doctor to see if any of that could be an effecting factor.

    But speaking from an anxiety sufferers standpoint, you will feel better and the feelings of helplessness will pass & you will overcome the worrying.

    That same feeling you had with the candy being stuck in your throat is something I deal with often and just freaking myself out over nothing, whenever that happens or if it does just drink some water and try to relax and allow the feeling to pass.

    I'm sorry to hear about the problems you are dealing with but I promise if you surround yourself with positive people despite the negativity you'll feel better

  • Lexi, you are on a journey that many of us have been on. The symptoms and feeling you are experiencing are your own bodies reaction to stress and constant worry and will continue until you are able to change the way you cope with life. I would encourage you to persue acceptance and mindfulness for that is truly the only path to recovery . And yes I did say recovery . Doctors will lead you to believe anxiety and depression are chemical imbalances which they are not...meds will not cure you and often makes symptoms worse . Start making lifestyle changes that create a more stress free environment. I know this isnt easy but it is possible with some effort . begin to change your diet and lifestyle . Drinking soda is like rocket fuel for anxiety...both the sugar amd caffeine . Take walks to start to become more physically fit. Read a good self help book. I suggest a book on Mindfulness and also Clare Weakes not sure of spelling, has a book on acceptance that will change your life. What your going through is temporary and will pass. Reach out to others who have been through this and come out stronger and stay away from those who are negative influence and who do not set a good example with their own lifes...

  • I'm sorry for all your losses. That is enough to give anyone anxiety. Anxiety is truly a miserable thing. To naturally rid yourself of anxiety, you must change your thought process. People who have anxiety, have this way of dwelling and thinking about something displeasing to them. That in turn starts to make them feel anxious, nervous, scared. However you want to put it. I am currently on buspar myself. It's apparently hit or miss. I'm only on 5mg and it works wonders but I actually withdraw if I don't take it. I've only been on it for 2 weeks and that quick it's messing with my body. People either have it work for them or it does nothing. So I'd change meds if I were you. If you focus your thoughts on positive only things, you can't get anxiety. There is no room for anxiety if you think of things that are "happy thoughts." I beat anxiety for 1.5 years so I know it's possible. Praying for you! Get some better meds too!

  • Hello lexijaye, i understand EVERYTHING your going through, at times its hard for you to accept its anxiety when you have sooooo many symptoms, but anxiety is strange it manifests itself in countless of ways, me myself i have had(an still do) alot of the same symptoms your experiencing, but lately i have stop having most of them cause i calm myself down, that's the key "calming your mind" life is too short for us to worry over things we can't control get the book "Power Of The Subconscious Mind" by author Joseph Murphy it REALLY do help actually it CURES. I was alwaysva negative person that feared EVERYTHING, but now i realized everything is in my mind, God has not intend for us to suffer like this so CHANGE YOUR MIND, an you WILL change your symptoms an become normal my number is 7733318844 Tony

  • Thank you all so much for your encouragement, suggestions, and advice. It has really made me feel better. I do not want to let this anxiety defeat me. Negative thinking has totally been my hugest battle. Each time my chest hurts I think well what if the docs missed something and maybe i'm having a heart attack. I guess I will not become better if I dont manage this mindset. I believe I am convincing myself that there is a quick fix and my doc does not care to fix it. I know thats silly thought and I have to do my part. Does anyone have any advice on a exercise plan in which won't increase my anxiety? I started walking last week but stopped because I was breathless (fairly sure its weight and cigs) and was afraid that I would pass. Thanks guys sooo much! It feels good to know that im not the only one.

  • Change doctors. Meds are that quick fix. Changing your thought process is effective, but the longer process and ultimately better option. If you're not getting what you want, go elsewhere... been there done that! Good luck!

  • Lexijaye - I think you are amazing to have held your job down and improved your financial position despite these problems, take pride in that. As an outsider it's clear that all your symptoms are anxiety, all those medical tests prove that conclusively. O.K., you're overweight and you smoke but you're still young so you won't have a heart attack. It's not a good time to give up smoking but do try to cut down and slightly reduce your calorific intake, losing just 1lb. a week would be good and give you a sense of achievement.

    Remember, you cannot save the world single handed, some of the responsibilities you have you should say 'No! I've got too many problems in my life right now, can't do that.'

    What Chris73 said was good advice, about the method for recovery from anxiety and nervous sensitisation advocated from 60 years by the late Claire Weekes. There are many self help books but hers is pre-eminent. Her first book was 'Self help with your nerves' published in the 1960s, it's brought relief, reassurance and cure to hundreds of thousands throughout the world. I think in the U.S. it's called 'Hope and help with your nerves', you can pick up a second hand copy on Amazon for just a few dollars.

    You will soon recognise yourself in its pages, all your symptoms have been experienced by so many people before, they are not organic but tricks your tired mind are playing on your body. The book will teach you to stop adding Second Fear to First Fear by what she calls Acceptance. Just accept the symptoms for the moment but recognise them for what they are, they are just thoughts. Then you do what she calls Floating, switching on to automatic pilot and just continue doing all the things you normally do. And finally Let Time Pass, there are no quick fixes so stop testing and start practicing and in the fullness of time you will stop frightening yourself, for you know that is what you are doing my dear, and your nervous system will cease to be sensitised (where it exagerates every problem and every fear) and the chemicals in your body will return to normal and you will walk, work and rest in peace and tranquility once more.

    I promise you that you are not about to die, you will recover, we have all been there before you so you are not alone.

  • P.S. Lexijay - by truly Accepting those symptoms by recognising them as imposters that can do you no lasting harm you rob them of their power to frighten you.

  • Hey guys is anyone available to talk. Im really scared right now don't know if im imagining symptoms or what but I have abdominal pains along with every other symptom. I don't want to keep acruing er bills but im so scared of having a heart attack I dont know what to do. Someone please help me get through this 😢

  • What's happening LexiJaye23?

  • My stomachpain has calmed down but my chest continues to hurt. I've tried breathing exercises and rested but nothing seems to work smh.

  • LexiJaye23, I'm glad your stomach pain has calmed down. As for your chest continuing to hurt I would say is more health anxiety related due to all the things you have gone through. If you are still living with your child's father in an emotionally abusive relationship, that is adding fuel to the fire. Things happening in our lives outside of our home is quite different than not having even your home be a safety zone for you due to you and your husband. The fact that 0.5mg of Xanax had taken down your fears should make you realize it was just that, anxiety. AS for the Zoloft and Buspar that you started a month ago, you are just about 2 weeks shy of it reaching it's efficacy levels. Using deep breathing is good but when you are in the throws of out of control anxiety issues, it's pretty hard to calm down. Therapy would be a better idea at this time. Talk out your fears and your situation with your home life. Going to therapy and being on medication is a good combo treatment in getting your anxiety under control. Once you realize that all these things in your life are causing your symptoms you will be able to accept them and they will subside in time.

  • Thank you and I understand im just tired of suffering I don't want to live like this. I grow frustrated because these symptoms are real and I would be satisfied if I could get a least 30 mins of relief. Im so sleepy right now but I am afraid to go to sleep because of the pain.

  • And yet sleep is so important in restoring your body especially with all the anxiety in your life. What do you think would happen if you fell asleep? You sound exhausted. At least you would rid yourself of feeling pain while sleeping. You know I at one time was just as bad as you. I had every pain imaginable day after day. It was extremely hard to live with.. A psych doctor once told me that I was lost, lost in a sea of stress and fears. I needed to get to shore and find my way back home.

    that was done through intense therapy and trial and error of medications. When that didn't work, I was hospitalized where they were able to find the right med and dose as well as a therapy that worked for me.

    My life around me didn't change, I changed. I became more accepted of what my challenges were. I refused to live in pain and fear every day. It eventually just disappeared. I've got my life back again.

    You must believe what your doctor says in order to get better.

  • Thank you so much you are right. This is such a crippling disease and I want so bad to get better. Did you suffer with anxiety evert min of the day? I think thats why its so hard for me to accept the anxiety?

  • Definitely, it took over my life completely. And as it did that, everyone around me disappeared. No one understood, it seemed like no one cared or believed me.

    It is a very lonely disorder. But now you are here on the forum and we all understand. A good place to be while you try to get well and get your life back. x

  • LexiJaye23, I'm going off for the night.

    Goodnight and take care. x

  • Are you any better LexiJaye23?

  • I gave you my phone number 7733318844 Tony

  • Thanks everyone who helped me through last night. It was such a nightmare! Each time I tried to sleep I felt as if I was sinking. Woke up this morning a little panicky as if I had been gasping for air all night but I feel pretty good right now. Still in the back of my mind I just waiting on this anxiety to grab me in any min. Ugh when will it in smh.

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