Frequent anxiety symptoms

I've had my third abortion about a month ago and even leading up to the weeks before I actually went through with it I was having anxiety attacks because it was something I started to dwell on thinking very hard.. but not as frequent as now. I feel like I'm being trapped in my own mind of negative thoughts .. that I should be dead.. or something is going wrong with me .. I've had 4 hospital visit all said nothing was wrong. However, if I feel any twitch or flinch in my body my mind goes on a ride .. of all the things that are going wrong with me. I had my first panic attack featuring all symptoms of a panic attack and it was so scary. They gave me medication to help me relax because my palipatations are ongoing. It did help me but I'm scarred because I don't want to depend on this medication to keep me sane.

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  • yeah i've had an abortion too once.. i remember the day i had an abortion i couldn't even sleep everytime i fell asleep i would wake up not being able to breath, i guess i was having very bad anxiety. I always feel guilty about having an abortion i think so deeply to it that i really do think i have a daughter/son with my partner and when i really do have children for real i'd possibly have to explain to them i had an abortion.. but really if i had another chance asking if id get one or not i'd still have it. with the medication issue you're having its a common worry to have but the doctor will help you lower the dose to the point you are dependant from it. hope you're ok x

  • Thank you for your response.. sometimes I feel like I just need to spill out everything and talk to someone just so they'll know.. but if the medication works for now this will have to do. I've been missing hours of sleep and sometimes I can't stomach to even look at a young baby without feeling terrible guilt.

  • its no problem i know how you feel.. my abortion has changed me so much. Im always worrying about being pregnant I'm always gagging due to my anxiety but i always think I'm pregnant and the amount of pregnancy tests I've brought is crazy. Yeah i can't even talk to my friends about things i've hardly told anyone i just feel so ashamed and you know how people are very judgemental when it comes to abortion.. even myself before i had my abortion i said i'd never get one. Just reading your username I'm guessing you are religious? i am also religious and the fact that i've made the biggest sin kills me the most.

  • I am and that's what taunts me most.. after the first I promised him I would never do it again but I also panic when I find out I'm pregnant.. this last time I got to hear the baby heartbeat and I changed my mind and started to embrace that I was going to be a mom but it was too late I had already taken the first pill mifepristone... I wanted to wait a week so that I can get another ultrasound to keep checking on him or her but by the third day I started passing extreme clots and I felt horrible there was nothing that I could have done and that I was the one who cause it.

  • its ok though we are going through the same worries but guess what? our God is very forgiving. God only stops forgiving when our hearts become hardened and we stop repenting. I remember when my doctor was doing the jelly stuff on my belly whatever its called he told me not to look at the baby picture but i wanted to so bad.. i don't know why because i know i would feel worse. Just wondering what contraception are you on now?

  • I was suppose to go back for a 3 month shot but it feel like my hormones or all over the place and these different medications that I'm taking I really don't want to consume too much

  • Godfearer, as difficult as it is emotionally, it's a pretty simple medical procedure and if you're okay a month later I'm sure you are fine physically. I can empathize and I'm sorry for the situation that brought you to this. It's clear that it was not an easy decision for you. What's done is done now and I hope you can find some peace. I'm here if you need to talk more.

  • Thank you. And I am progressing towards finding peace in the situation one step at a time!

  • Good for you! You're very brave for reaching out and I'm so glad you did. You are probably helping a lot of women right now. You've definitely come to the right place, everyone here is fantastic.

  • Godfearer, I know that a lot of birth control methods can amp up our anxiety. Also, I could never take birth control pills due to a blood disorder. Maybe if you could find a birth control method that works for you you would feel better and not have to be in this horrible position again. That would be a positive step that might make you feel better.

  • As soon as my hormones are normail again I will look into getting the three month shot because I don't want to mix too many medications at once

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