Frustrated again

[Icanbeathis2016]

Yesterday I had a full blown panic attack and I came to the forum to share my experience and wrote a lengthy post all for it to not post because my phone was acting stupid. Long story short I still am being very stubborn with wanting to accept this as anxiety. But I will say yesterday sort of proved that if it is just anxiety, and I've certainly felt these symptoms before, that if I just continue to go about my day doing what I was gonna do anyway it will go away. I had anxiety riding me soon as I woke up yesterday and it escalated as the day went about turning into mild anxiety/panic attacks symptoms. And i was so upset , crying, heartbroken because I had an event to attend for my daughter and I had to record the event for my show while there and the entire morning I was worried and frustrated thinking and hoping it wouldn't ruin my time to support my daughters cheering expo. Well true enough, I was still feeling the motions of the anxiety even while driving with my daughter in the car and getting myself together for the event. And low and behold, once I got to the event and started recording and engaging in the show (even though it was cold as heck outside) I didn't even notice any anxiety or any symptoms. I enjoyed myself(besides being cold and I hope I don't get sick for real now). But I did not pay attention to any of my anxiety. Now when I got back home it took me a while to settle down from being so cold and it took me a minute to relax but the anxiety demon sort of kept away for the rest of the night for me. Even though I was worried when I got in bed that it would all come back. But it's like wow should I really just accept something so uncomfortable that just comes and goes throughout my day whenever the heck it wants to ruining my days at times, keeping me afraid? so when I get these symptoms like I'm having right now, the constant dizziness , head pressure, head fullnes , wierd vision, muscle tension at times, mild tension headaches, the ringing ears, feeling unbalanced, upset stomach,nausea, i also motice a vein that pops up on the side of my temple area that im freaking out over because i never had it before plus i feel a pulse there at my temples. Should I really just accept it as anxiety and just continue to go about my life my day because I find it very hard to sometimes? gotta be something else going on.

[Skyrooms]

You are a very strong person. Whatever you did was the right thing to do. Nothing more to worry about right now. Just stay in present time and know that you can beat Panic again.

My hats off to you. And you give me much hope.

Thanks for your post.

Sky

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Skyrooms]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you found light in my story. and it's like even now I should totally be using yesterday as my momentum to help me in my time of feeling down again like right now. I guess because I've been home all day and had nothing but time to dwell it will come taunt me. But I constantly pray and talk to God in my times like this and I know it helps .

[sunnyg]

I get it. We are the toughest freaking people around. I swear we are. We keep going despite every ounce of our body wanting to give in and give up. Keep moving and attending those awesome events and eventually the anxiety monster will get tired of hanging around. Anxiety hates to be ignored. Best of luck to you and I am proud of you.

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to sunnyg]

Yes, despite how I felt and how afraid I was I was not gonna miss my daughter's event and I'm glad I stuck with it and went. And thank you so much. I wish the best for us all. Anxiety is the devil

[Agora1]

Hi Icanbeathis2016, That's correct that you need to accept that it's just anxiety and go on with your day. No one said it's going to be easy but then again nothing worth while ever is. You wanted to be there bad enough for your daughter that you took that uncomfortable step and it paid off. It doesn't surprise me that once you got home you felt more at ease. You know longer had something hanging over your head. You made the event and should congratulate yourself. Always reward yourself when you succeed. With each step forward you will be in more control. You are so much like I was that even while talking about your success yesterday, it was important to let us know that you are not totally well today because you wouldn't want to jinx yourself by letting us think your cured. In concentrating on today's symptoms it feeds into your anxious thoughts and produces more symptoms. I think you should give yourself credit where credit is due. Leave the symptoms behind and do something during the day that will avoid focusing on your health. You did well..

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Agora1]

You are right. I need to learn to give myself credit for the small victories I achieve with this anxiety but I've always been such a pessimist all my life. I never take what good and focus on that. And it's bad that I am like that at a time like this when I need to focus more on being positive . it's like I would rather dwell on the negative for a long time bit soon as one ounce of positivity strike for me I brush it off as if it won't or can't last. almost as if well its not gonna always be like this. I am trying so hard to change my frame of mind. but you are right and thank you for your kind words.

[Katlinma78]

Yes, because if you do exactly what you did yesterday, your brain will eventually realise that it is just anxiety and it can't hurt you and so your symptoms will get less and less.

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Katlinma78]

I'm trying to tell myself that as often as I can. but a lot of times I'm not successful with it because Im such a pessimist most of the time. Trying to retrain my mind to think differently is so hard. but I will say as I keep moving forward day by day I try to look at moments like that to get me through my down days.