I had lived a blessed life with no real losses up until a couple of years ago - I lost my gran who I was very close to and it was quite traumatic as she was in a hospice for 3 months it was a temporary one as the old one was getting renovated so wards instead of private rooms and constant curtains round for people dying which was quite traumatic to see you loved one there waiting for their turn and I had never been in that environment before, I also at the time had a nightmare kitchen company cowboy come in and completely do a botch job and with 2 children age 4 and 2 at the time it was extremely stressful and resulted in the kitchen having to be ripped out twice and me trying to live in a building site over a nine month period then my fit and healthy non smoking/drinking father at 68 after having a pain in his shoulder got diagnosed with asbestos (mesothelioma) and given 6-9 months to live - I am an only child and he underwent chemotherapy and all that goes with that and died anyway 6 months later and I was with him - I have a mum who is not very easy and very demanding and so with the loss of my father has moved house and is nearer me but she has never been an easy character to deal with so that in itself is stressful with tension. The shock and grief and horror of what happened to my dad who had looked after himself all his life haunts me and frightens me when I think of him at the end - I had never seen anyone die before let alone imagine it would be my dad as why would I have should have had another 20 years - anyway around 8 months after his death I started to feel not well - pains in chest, pins and needles in head and left arm - numbness - got all checked out convinced of a tumour to be told that I was suffering from anxiety/panic attacks they thought - I did not want to go on medication but got six counselling sessions - I did not feel they were addressing my issues (health) in the end I felt it was like a bitching session about my problems that week with my mum and then with school holidays etc my next 6 expired so I have not been back and not sure if my health insurance will authorise any more. So these symptoms started about a year ago and diagnosis happened in January - counselling March- May - I joined a gym too to try and exercise as I believe this may help. To be honest I seemed to go through a good spell when on holiday staying with a friend but recently I seem to be getting worse again. Alcohol is not a friend of this and it is a nightmare for we are quite sociable and it is making me terrified to drink because of the consequences as I can feel sick, shaky, unable to eat, palpatations and dizziness and these can go on all day and night until I am too exhausted I have to sleep. I start to feel anxious even thinking now about having a drink which seems ridiculous it is almost like I am putting it in my head the problems that will follow Other symptoms I have on a normal basis which immediately sets me back and are quite new is bad dreams, waking suddenly in the night as one of my arms have went to sleep and then I am uptight and anxious in case something is wrong and shivery and shaky - constantly every couple of hours waking - my husband works away through the week so on my own. Then there is what I can only describe as the head rush almost like you have drank something too cold and get an instant pain and then it eases away along with the heavy headache feeling - then another symptom can be a dizziness almost like when you are walking in the street that you lose focus and your legs don't feel connected like they are jelly and uncoordinated. I am 44 years old and my girls are 7 and 5 - I used to work prior to them in a stressful job and never had any issues - what I couldn't understand is why did I not feel like this when all the bad was happening why did it occur almost a year later when I am just trying to get over my grief and back on track. I am desperately trying google to look for a miracle to help me get over this without being back at the doctors and came across this site - has anyone had all of these multitude of symptoms as I feel over whelmed with it all - also there can be flashes of pins and needles/prickles on the nerve ending in toes, knees etc. I desperately want to sort this out as having a young family I need to be on my toes and do not want this effecting them which so far it has not but I hate feeling like this and it is awful then worrying about dying/something wrong with yourself. Is there anyone out there going or been through something similar and had all these problems I am praying for advice and how to help handle and stop this I am willing to try anything. My husband has a birthday coming up a special one and we are having a dinner for around 35 people and do not want this to trigger it off as when it was only myself and him going out last night for the first time ever I started getting symptoms in the lead up to going out and it just made me feel so low I don't want to keep living like this. Would love to hear from anyone with similar or had similar issues.