anxiety

[matosh]

I ve been suffering from anxiety ever since I was a child. Initially growing up the anxiety did push me to work hard at school, college, jobs etc, due to my family situation, I had to take responsibilities at a very young age as such I became a very careful person who did not want to make any mistake in life, I became the world's greatest worrier and analyser. Looking back I now realise why i'm suffering from anxiety, the mind that once helped me to succeed in life is the same one that is destroying me now.

My personality has changed completely over years due to anxiety from being a out going person to a reserved person. Ofcourse I've got lots of real family problems going on and i'm the only one to sort them. I do suffer all sorts of anxiety related symptoms but the sharp stabbing pain on my heart is the norm and is scarry, had it for years.Been investigated no problem.

My mind is so sensitised that I can't unwind even if there's nothing to worry about my mind will look and find one. I'm so preoccupied that at times I miss what people say. I only relax and concentrate when I do something that I really like but the minute I finish my mind reminds me about some problem. Its so tiring to have to do something all the time I would love to be able to relax while doing nothing as well.

[Behappy95]

I'm the same with you in that anxiety pushed me to do well in school, and has continued to do so now that I'm an adult (21) but probably more than I want it to. I've become a bit of a perfectionist and constantly expect myself to do everything right. If I mess up my automatic thought process is "I'm so stupid, why me?" I think this can be a good thing, I seem to have developed a very determined and committed attitude towards things due to anxiety and it causes me to push myself to do well, but just remember, everyone does mess up. No one is perfect and it's OK to make mistakes. Try laugh it off and realise that you can only do your best and your best is good enough.

I can also relate with your mind being so preoccupied that you miss what people say. I'm the same. I'm focussing so much on trying to calm myself down that it's all I think about sometimes. I think this will just take getting used to the anxiety and learning to not worry about it as much. When you learn how to live with it it won't seem as big of a problem, you'll learn how to ignore it and get on with every day tasks because you're so used to it being there.

[matosh in reply to Behappy95]

Thank you Behappy95 i'll take your advice on board

[foxglove]

Shame here, if I don't have a worry THAT is a worry!!!

[kinikia95 in reply to foxglove]

My subconscious: "If something ain't wrong, something ain't right!" I don't like it, I currently can't help it.

However, I cannot see where calling yourself stupid is ever a good thing, regardless of the outcome. Maybe work on a more self-loving mantra?

[matosh in reply to foxglove]

That's true, my my mind is so used to worry that I have to worry about something all the time

[matosh in reply to foxglove]

Its true mind can be so used to worry that it constantly looking for worries