I came across the title of this post on my road to recovery and it is so true. Trust me.
Once you truly understand what this means, you too will be on the road to recovery.
I see so many posts on this website from so many people complaining about the symptoms of anxiety, asking if anyone has a particular symptom or giving tips to try and get rid of anxiety or trying to control it.
I hate saying this but I'm afraid you have entirely the wrong approach. The way to recover naturally is to change your attitude towards how you feel. By doing absolutely nothing about how you feel and resisting none of it, a lot of the fear that drives your anxiety melts away. By allowing it all in, you start to leave yourself alone, introspection reduces and you begin to realise you never had any control in the first place. You think you have but you haven't.
By changing your attitude, you allow your mind and body to recover which it will do, just as nature intends. Recovery is not about quick fixes or techniques. Messages from other people may only bring short relief but don't bring cure overnight,
Recovery is a process you need to go through. It means you have to allow everything that your anxiety throws at you, you have to embrace it instead Of running away from it and you have to start living your life while all those harmless thoughts and emotions run wild. You may feel peace, you may feel horrible but you have to treat it all the same. You don’t cling to the bliss so you don’t run away or try to suppress the bad. The more you allow without putting up any resistance, the better you will begin to feel. You will realise that the thoughts and emotions you have been experiencing are completely harmless and that so much of your suffering was inflicted by yourself. You will also realise you were never broken in the first place, that you never had to go around trying to fix yourself and that no label given to you was actually true. Anxiety is one big bluff. Call it's bluff by giving up the fight to rid yourself of anxiety. Stop trying to push it all away or trying to control it. As the title of this post suggests, it is the trying part that keeps sufferers in the anxiety cycle.
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Beevee
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Nothing worth having in life comes easy but it is possible. It takes time to develop your new attitude and recovery won't happen over night but it does get easier and easier the closer you get. Just keep practising acceptance.
Did you or do you experience anxiety? I've used this and it does help tremendously.
I would like to know if you have ever experienced health anxiety? Many of us on here do I think more so then the latter. Heart attack symptoms, stroke etc.
I still feel myself from time to time experienceing things that could possibly be just that but I convince myself that it is not.
What's your experience with this?
I'd like to know because I still experience these things (tight chest, arm pain, back pain, jaw pain etc)
I got caught up in the anxiety cycle because of health anxiety. I had heart palpitations, chest pain, jaw pain, bowel trouble, blurred vision to mention a few and feared I would die, leaving my young family behind. I had lots of tests and all came back negative. I remember sitting in my car, crying, because a bowel test came back negative (family history of bowel cancer). With hindsight, I realised that all these symptoms were stress related and worried too much about them. There was no single stress factor (I'm a happy, go lucky sort or person), probably a number of smaller ones that must have accumulated without me noticing which made me question my own mortality and brought on many of the "illnesses" mentioned above. Because I worried too much about them, anxiety became my new problem.
However, it didn't take too long for my anxiety to attach itself to other things that were important to me such as family and job and the old health anxieties took a back seat and lost interest in them. It took a while to develop a good understanding of anxiety which is a key factor in recovery because once you know what you are dealing with, it takes away a lot of the fear, which, as you know, is the root cause of all anxiety disorders. This is where the change in attitude comes from and the steps to recovery because it makes it so much easier to accept what is happening to you. People stay stuck in the cycle because they are not accepting, they are fighting it which is the wrong thing to do. It isn't easy but with practice, you get there.
i no longer have "show stopper" anxiety but do still get anxious from time to time but it happens when it is supposed to happen and at a level that is more in keeping with the situation and soon passes. I just don't dwell on it any more because the fear of it has been taken away through knowledge of the subject and experience, lots of experience. Anxiousness is a normal response to situations, we just make it far worse by adding more fear, by worrying about it, trying to control it, push it away etc.
As far as your symptoms are concerned, if you have been given the all clear by the medical profession, you need to accept that it is just anxiety and move on with your day. Dwelling on it means you are not fully accepting and still hold some fear because you are probably saying to yourself "what if it is my heart?" and then mulling over It. When there is no longer fear, it won't bother you to the extent that it is.
For me, I don't worry about dying. It's a fact of life and something we cannot prevent. I think about it sometimes but those thoughts are not fear driven and just don't bother me any more.
yes recovery is a process. We should take time out from getting well. It's a full time job and like any job you get time off. Taking away the importance of the symptoms is right too, difficult and needs practice but I learned to do it. With structured help we can get back to being how we want to be. I'm lots better than I was, get blips but they pass. Let's persevere and not be to hard on ourselves, great comments above.
Agree with the poster. The more you fight it the more you get beat down by it. My mistake when I slip into an anxious episodes is i start babying myself. Eating healthy and going to bed at 9pm like an old person. This will not help you with anxiety. It will help overall health but just puts you in defense mode against anxiety. What do I do when I'm not anxious? I play video games until 2 am and go to work with 4 hours sleep and don't get a single palpitation and feel fine. But when I'm anxious I can sleep 10 hours a day and eat healthy and I'm still a mess. I'm not saying don't take care of yourself just that it's your outlook and thoughts tormenting you. You're not made of glass. Let's say you (or I) do have a major health problem. It's still likely not while you feel like crap. It's the anxiety. I know people with cancer, heart failure, extreme PTSD from war you name it. They still go on vacations and concerts and enjoy their lives. Anxiety is why we're miserable. Period.
Totally agree. I'd catch myself pussy footing around when the anxiety was high but like you say, you need to keep doing the stuff you used to do. If that means staying up until 2am playing on PS4, keep doing it! Must say I was pretty rubbish at most games but did enjoy some of the Call of Duty games before they got a bit silly (being able to jump tall buildings). Or maybe it's my age and my reflexes aren't as sharp as they used to be. Hey ho.
Haha. I'm no spring chicken myself i just like games they relax my mind. I'm not very good at shooters so I opt for sword and shield stuff like Dark Souls. Though I am playing Destiny right now.
Funny how different games appeal. Must be honest and say I've never "got" those kind of games. I've never even watched Game of Thrones which a lot of people say is great. Think I'd have to lock myself indoors for several months to catch up using box sets. Only ever watched one box set. Breaking Bad. Now I enjoyed that very much. I even managed to watch 7 episodes back to back one night 😋 Not sure if this is a world record. 🤔
p.s. I've forgotten what a spring chicken looks like.
Excellent post. I am guilty of the same, when I get anxious I suddenly start changing everything like cutting out coffee etc.. which is basically backing down to the anxiety which only makes it grow in power. Lately I'm trying to simply do the opposite of that, embracing the anxiety, going to war with it and see what happens
Keep doing the opposite to what it is telling you. It thrives on being able to dictate what you can or can't do. If you are British, give it "two fingers" and stay the course. For other nationalities, one finger will suffice 😆
I like this, it sounds like the blog I've been reading and I'm considering the book. I've always had doubts about the old breathing and counting techniques etc, by doing so we are just entertaining the anxiety, trying to reason with it and backing down. I really do like this approach and will be putting it into practice.
It reminds me about a story of a budding stage actor who had a bit part in a story about the American civil war. He only had to deliver one line and his cue was the sound of a cannon being fired during a battle. To save money, a stage hand would shout "bang!" during rehearsals instead of the cannon being fired. The actor duly delivered his one line to perfection.
On the opening night, things were going great and the actor took his place on the stage waiting for his cue. When the cannon was fired he shouted "What the f**k was that?"
The blog I read is on a website called Anxiety No More. It isn't a get rich quick scheme taking advantage of people's suffering. It doesn't teach a method and its definitely doesn't teach a technique. All it is telling us is to give our minds and bodies the space they need to recover and letting the natural healing process do its thing without us interfering by worrying ourselves better. I make it sound simple but we all know it isn't! Still, you know what they say. Practice makes perfect.
Dr Claire Weekes' books teach the way to recovery in exactly the same way. The website just explains it in practical terms wIth lots of helpful advice from people who have been through it all and recovered.
Agree that melds are viable for some people at the right time. Just not for me.
Letting it be isn't a method, a technique or a cliche. It is about letting your mind and body recover in the same way nature fixes a broken bone. We don't do anything to get better. The bone heals by itself with time to rest. The exact same healing process applies to anxiety except anxiety sufferers keep interfering with the healing process and never get better.
Using the broken bone analogy, fighting the symptoms of anxiety is just like a person poking and prodding a broken bone demanding that it gets better or trying to get rid of the pain. Recovery is delayed, at the least. It needs rest and it needs time for it to heal. The mind and body works in exactly the same way. It's nature, not some gimmick or technique. It's not easy to practice acceptance but it isn't impossible. Anxiety is a learned behaviour. It just doesn't happen. Fear is the root cause but fear can be overcome but you have to feel it to learn from it. You can't avoid it or take a short cut. You have to go through it completely and feel all that emotional pain willingly. This is the only way to recover. Meds can take the edge off but doesn't address the underlying cause. At best, they mask it but unless people understand what is happening to them and feel it all without resistance, they leave the door open because they may still fear it coming back and keep looking over their shoulders. You have to overcome the fear and accept everything that comes with it .e.g depression, de personalisation, intrusive thoughts, OCD, to name a few. All are fear based.
People with anxiety who are feeling suicidal think they have reached the end of their tether. They see no way out, feel hopeless. They don't understand what is wrong with them. They only thing they know to do is to fight it. They have exhausted their minds and bodies trying to fight their way out of the hole but this just pours more fuel on to the fire and completely wrong. It's normal for humans to fight diseases..."it won't get the better of me" or "I'll show it who's boss" but not for anxiety. To recover, you have to do the exact opposite of fighting and treat it like a broken bone. Do nothing about it and allow it all the symptoms to come.
Don't take my word for it. Visit Anxiety No More website or read any of the books by Dr Claire Weekes. Our bodies work in exactly the same way which means everyone has the natural ability to recover. You just have to learn to do nothing about the anxiety but not before learning about anxiety first. Knowledge is key because it takes away a lot of the fear which is the very thing that keeps anxiety going. Lose the fear and recovery will follow but it takes time and isn't linear. Another reason why people stay in the cycle. They hit a setback and think they will never recover. Setbacks ARE part of the recovery process so you have to keep accepting and these too will diminish over time until they no longer matter. Time is the healer.
I had severe anxiety 24/7. Felt my head was going to explode. I didn't have stress, I was in distress all day, every day. Meds made it worse and then I read the books by dr Claire Weekes. I couldn't relate to it at first, despite reading the books several ties. It just wasn't sinking in. I thought there was something else wrong with me but over time, my understanding improved and things started clicking into place.
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Inside everyone with anxiety disorder there's a recovered person trying to get out.
