Hey guys, hope alls well! Just updating my progress here and I'm getting a lot better! It took me so long to find out that I actually had depersonalisation disorder... I can tell any of you here that has it I'm so sorry for you, it's the worst thing imaginable I think personally. BUT it's very beatable! Stop looking at the complicated answers cause it's such a complicated illness... I've did all the research I possibly could and in the end I know the answer for recovery for I feel in the space of a very short time I'm about 50% recovered, it's simple. You think about your dp constantly for it's so overwhelming and scary right? Stop!! (I know that's near impossible) but to begin this process you should start by letting the thoughts in and letting them pass, give yourself the attitude "I don't care" I'll do this and I'll do this without worrying about the consequences, if I have a panic attack FINE give me all you got, I don't fear it anymore and you'll be surprised how this attitude can take away so much fear. What I did was think of everyday as a day to let my brain recover, let it rest. So the two things you need to do to recover are, 1. Stop fearing your thoughts (this illness is anxiety fuelled and if you take out the anxiousness it'll dissipate but over a period of a few days to a week or two if you do it well, or it could take a longer your recovery is not the same to anyone else's and take as much time as you need but never stop) 2. Just do it! (Whenever something comes up that you are afraid of, screw it just do it, I would recommend myself to not jump straight into the highly pressured things the first day but do all the things you did before first, from football training or the gym to socialising with some good friends) I know you feel alone and insanely confused right now but you gotta make today the day you fight back and win your life back and I guarantee you will not regret it at all! Good luck!