Frustrated single dad in Brampton Ontario Canada

my 17 y/o son has been finally diagnosed with ODD and ADHD.

Something mom should have treated him for growing up as doctors and school pointed out . However as she suffers herself mentally she is in denial about her condition as well as his . In her words and I quote " there is nothing wrong with him he's just an asshole "

Sad thing to say about your child ;(

Three years ago she had enough and threw him out of the house . That's when , as any parent should do I took him in .

He started acting strange , irrational, moody and very violet .

Hates his mom for throwing him out . And I think also now that he understands why we split up and blames her infidelity her moodiness , she's crazy he says !

He's gotten in trouble with the law several times . Recently he was arrested , it broke my heart . Because I know the things he does are out of his controll . He tells me he blacks out whe he gets violent and can't stop himself. So I'm asking you guys , is he an " asshole" or a child in need of help?

I have been trying for almost two years to get help. The system in Canada is so overwhelmed that there is a waiting list for any mental medical help . Also the struggle has been his reluctance to accept the help I was desperately trying to get him .

He's finally ,through the help of the courts and our GP he's agreed to try citalopram ( celexa)

It's been six days exactly . He's a bit lethargic and tired but still has a bit of anger outbursts but nothing like a week ago.

Doctor said it would be at least three to four weeks , however I've seen changes already .

I've been stressed out for three years , have been put on sick leave last couple of months . I could go back to work but have decided to take the time off to concentrate on helping him get well. He means everything to me. She says she wouldn't put up with what I do says to kick him out and let him grow up !

Really is that the answer ? Put a child with mental issues out on the street ?

She's washed her hands . Lives a good life in a big house has friends boyfriends and goes on trips . I'm not making this up , she told me just last week.

Anyway I'm hoping this med helps him live a normal life finałly and stop all the pain.

Thank you for letting me vent ;(

4 Replies

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  • Hi there, it's very tragic for him to have gone through all that. After all no one chooses to come into this world, in an ideal world everyone would have perfect parents and lovely Lifes but hey!! It dosnt always work that way does it. If his mom has mental health problems she didn't seem to be able to grasp the seriousness of his problems. It's safe to say you may as well forget any support from her unless she is able to get help which hopefully she will at some point. She's chosen how she wants to live her life. But your son has you and your fighting for him, as for throwing him out on the street is definitely a No No. Finding help whatever condition people are struggling with seems to take forever and when your desperate it feels even longer. I would say if you haven't already then you need some support too because you need to be as strong as you can be to keep supporting him. Just keep coming on and venting, that's what we're all here for. My very best wishes to you🙏🏻

  • Sorry to hear you post. I agree with the good advice from angep- however hard it is now,stick with it, someday he will thank you and I guess that's what Dads (and some moms!) do.

    I wouldn't include the Mom, unless she changes and is willing to help and be proactive than its better you "control" the situation.

    I think it's a great idea that you take time off from work, two aims really to be with your son as he needs to have closeness, and to help your mental state. Have you tried yoga, both of you could benefit, I like the YouTube, brett Larkin yoga, once you've got over the strangeness its good! Are you able to go jogging or even walk together. Something to do that gets you both out of the house, fishing? I only say that because when your feeling stressed the four walls come in at you at home sometimes!

    Do you have access to therapist? Stick with it you and your son are worth the both....happiness to you both..keep posting..xx

  • My blessings are with you and your boy 🙏🏼❤️ All the way from B.C 🇨🇦

  • I think that your son needs help, but not just pills. Talking therapy? He's still young enough to change his life around. Best wishes, Wendy x

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