Extremely frustrated and fed up with this anxiety

Ever since I came back from college, I have had the worst anxiety.

To make an extremely long story not quite as long: I went away to school in late September, but ended up coming home in early November due to medical issues (anxiety included) and a few financial issues. I had never had any kind of anxiety until I went away to school. At school, I was miserable; I hated it, didn't make friends, and started having my first anxiety attacks. I would call my mom crying almost every day. When I finally came home, the first few weeks back were great, as I was overjoyed to be home. Then one day I just snapped. I started getting pretty bad anxiety every night, I couldn't stand and was scared of being home alone, or doing anything alone. The weird part is that before I went to school I was extremely introverted, preferred spending time alone, and loved staying home alone. Now I hate it. I started seeing a therapist in December, and it has helped quite a bit, but I still get pretty, always getting anxious.

I have grown extremely close with my mom. I have started doing some part-time work at the same business she works at. Originally, I only went in to work with her on Tuesdays and Thursday.. but then that turned into Tues., Thurs., and Friday... now Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. (I don't go on Wednesdays because that is when my therapist appointment is..)

I don't know what to do anymore or why I'm even anxious/scared to be home. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, which is good, but I'm just at my wit's end. I just want to go back to how I used to be. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I get extremely anxious if my evening/nighttime routine is messed up or any of my routines are messed up. I just can't handle this anymore. Any tips/advice/anything? I've heard vitamin D helps with anxiety. I do not want to take medication.


4 Replies

  • Hiya Laura, seems like anxiety is putting you through the mill at the moment. My advice usually starts with trying to find the 'trigger' which starts the spiral of anxiety.For me it can be anything which acts as a stressor and then lots of other ridiculous things, attach to my already negative feelings.In short, I have PTSD, but am going down the therapy route, herbal remedies etc.I work shifts which play havoc with life, but I've found that as I as often so tired, anxiety struggles to touch me at those times...so keeping busy is important. I'm struggling a tad at the moment aswell, just general negative feelings and hopelessness.I tend to drink to boost my mood when not working of course =:0), which I know is the wrong this to do, but we mustnt be too tough on ourselves. I went dry last year and went to the sauna, swimming (slow full body movement breastroke for an hour) few times each week.That really tired all of my body and was so relaxed.I felt amazing when dry.I didn't sleep well last night and woke at 5 with terrible neck tension, headache. I have looked carefully at your post and alot of what you have written seems to be what many feel during a busy lifestyle.Certainly they are nothing unusual and many on this wonderful site will be able to relate to you.I think.you must try and learn how to mange this and your feelings.Its great you have a strong bond with mum. I am trying to practice mindfulness, tai chi.I believe that these are the best way to solve many mental disorders.I took the antidepressant route in 2008 and was a horrid experience, but for some it works.If I've missed anything please reply..but I have written alot on this site about herbal supplements such as SJW - St Johns Wort, Rhodiola Rosea. These two supplements work if a good brand is bought (in my opinion).In Germany SJW is used to treat depression and is prescription only!!So must be something in this!I'm taking the above supplements now, plus a strong dose of vitamin B which helps the brain in various ways.Also vitamin C for immune system as stress batters your immunity to common illnesses. Please message me for details of good quality supp's as you get what you pay for with these things, its a shame they're not properly researched and regulated...maybe its because they actually work...if you catch my drift.ok take care.It may take time to find the best way to reduce/eliminate these feelings, we are here for you x

  • Hiya, hope you're feeling a bit better?How are things?

  • I actually just saw this message, sorry! Well, for about a week and half I was feeling great, almost back to my old self - but these past two night have basically been like old times. I can't help but get this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't seem to shake. I can't figure out what I'm anxious or nervous about. BUt when I'm like this, even the thought of going on a vacation or being alone or doing something different just majorly scares me. I'm just at a loss. :( I start doing so much better for the longest time yet, but then I'm right back to where I started. It feels hopeless, and I"m not sure what to do anymore.

  • Hiya,thanks for the reply, I know it feels like we're running around in circles at times..I can often relate my mood/feelings to things now, so can identify what causes me grief...well if I can offer any advice I will....The physical symptoms of anxiety are horrid I know.You will surely get back to where you were...I don't know much about you Laura...Where did the anxiety come from?When did all this begin?I think I told you about me in a previous message....I dealt with a lady who had died today....felt spooky being in the same room...but she looked so peaceful....that helped me do my job.Id like to think we all seek ultimate happiness in life...I'd like to think we will both find peace and love in our hearts....unfortunately nothing comes fast in life and we must be patient..am free to chat anytime..take care..don't give up Chris xx

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