Suppose to be enjoying this moment

[Icanbeathis2016]

Well my constant worry and racing thoughts are surely getting the best of me. I'm supposed to be trying to enjoy this cruise I am on celebrating my daughter's sweet 16. And for the most part I'm happy but it's forced. I feel even worse inside because I want to feel genuinely happy and deep down I'm still very sad. I hope I can get some more momentum as the day progress because we just got on the ship. I keep thinking the worst like, "what if I have a panic attack on this ship and something bad happens and they can't save me in time? What if I start getting short for breath? What if I can't fight off a panic attack if one comes?" Just so many thoughts. And this is supposed to be a trip of laughter and relaxing. Also my latest news has added to my worries. I've been informed after getting a routine blood work that my kidney function is below normal. 60 and above is normal mine is 52. Why I'm so worried is because just a month ago it was at 59. What could have caused this to drop 7 points so fast. I'm not diabetic no hypertension. Now I have to get an ultrasound on my kidneys. Now I have more reason to add to my already worried and scared mind. Can anyone relate? But I just hope I can put on a love and happy face and be in great spirit for my daughter on the cruise

[Beevee]

I can relate. Don't put any pressure on yourself to be something you are not, in your current state. If you feel rubbish, let yourself feel rubbish. If you panic, you panic! It is only a sudden surge of adrenalin which is completely harmless. Don't try to stop it coming. DO NOT allow yourself to get drawn in trying to answer all those "What ifs?? I posted a message yesterday about first and second fear which explains what is happening to you. You are adding fear to fear by questioning it all. You are trying to get rid of it all which is the wrong thing to do. Accept it all.

Now, focus on the cruise but let the anxiety do whatever it wants to do. Wish I was there too and wish your beautiful daughter a very happy 16th birthday. She is one very lucky young lady.

Best wishes

Beevee

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Beevee]

Thanks so much. I will keep your advice in mind. This cruise is what's happening now and I need to enjoy what's happening now

[Goldfish_]

This is really common at age 60 and in the uk, you wouldn't qualify for an ultrasound with this history, just monitoring blood and urine. There are fluctuations in levels and this change may not be a trend.

Sorry I got your age wrong. I'm a bit confused at present.

But you just have to be patient and await results and progress. It may still turn out to resolve itself.

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Goldfish_]

I'm from usa and am 34. I don't know what could have caused a rapid drop. Not diabetic no hypertension