Health Anxiety is a nightmare!!

hey guys,

so i am a 28 yr old female, who has had anxiety for the past 4 yrs (after suffering also when i was 10! its is taking over my life now, and making me feel like there is no escape and i will never be normal again. I just dont know what to do, i have 2 gorgeous kids, who do ease it slighty when im feeling really rubbish.

so, for me i constantly have a fuzzy head, and feel dizzy very very often, i arent the fittest of people, and i also have asthma, and a fair few times a day my heart feels as though it is going to pump out of my chest, i bring a cough on myself.. i know its habit but always thinking i have lung cancer. I have a small lump in my mouth which i have convinced myself is mouth cancer, however, i have had lots of lumps in the past which have all been small nodes been scanned and been fine, so im not running to the doctors again...

i took myself to AnE the other night as my heart was doing 138 then up to 150, after ECG and doc talking it was down to 98, everything came back normal and they were happy with me. heart and lungs all sounded normal.

i came out of hospital feeling like i had a new lease of life, and felt clearer than i ahd for a long while... not that it lasted long, a couple of days...

Constantly checking my pulse too, sometimes it pounds when i am just sat down, then that makes me worse again.

the main constant symptom is my head, feeling fuzzy and light headed and its driving me potty, how can i distract myself, when im constantly fuzzy... Starting to think i have a bit of vertigo too..

my therapist said he isnt surprised i had relapse, as ive had lots of stress, my youngest starting school, i hate my job and the mother in law moved in for a few weeks, but i dont know how to escape.. after every session i come away thinking i can do this, but after a few days im back into feeling awful again. Thinking i am going to die and leave my babies.

back at docs on Fri to discuss medication possibilites, but my therapist said under no circumstances to take citalapram as its an anti depressant.

thanks for reading my rant :-)


8 Replies

  • Hi enmemz

    Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. That's the trouble with anxiety. It is one slippery customer. Just when you think you may have got the measure of it, it re-appears, usually with a vengeance. It also grossly exaggerates any thoughts and feelings (or situations) that ordinarily wouldn't cause you any bother, leaving you confused and desperately trying to rationalise matters but this just makes things worse. You end up going round in circles, trying to find the escape hatch but instead, you sink deeper and deeper into the hell that is anxiety. However, you are not going to die. it is your anxious mind making you think that way.

    The key to recovery does not lie in trying to figure it all out trying to escape it all. Effectively, you are trying to fix your anxious mind while you are in an anxious state which is a nigh on impossible thing to do and the reason you keep going round in circles. You are continuing to fuel the anxiety by adding more worry and stress to the mix. To recover, you need to do the exact opposite and do absolutely nothing about those thoughts or feelings. When I say do nothing, I mean do not challenge, fight, question, analyse or try to figure out what is wrong with you. Just accept it all, let it all happen without resistance and be ok with it. This will give your tired mind and body the rest it needs to begin to recover and heal itself. It is more about changing your attitude towards anxiety so that you get to the stage whete you are genuinely comfortable about feeling uncomfortable. In other words your reaction to a thought or feeling changes from "what if?" to "so what!" If you follow this process, recovery will find you. This might seem impossible to you in your current state (I should know, I've been there) but you will get there.

    Recovery doesn't happen overnight as it takes time for the brain to get the message and bring peace to your mind and body. It usually happens in thin layers, like peeling back an onion. That is also why people fall back into the anxiety state because they are impatient and think nothing is happening. Recovery is different for everybody and isn't linear (e.g. 1step forward, 2 steps back, 3 steps forward, 1 step back) so some patience is required. Setbacks are also part of the recovery process but accept these also. Recovery will come to you. With a peaceful mind and body, you will also be in a much, much better position to cope with normal day to day life including your job and the mother-in-law.

    If you are able, please read some of my earlier posts. The message is the same throughout about how to recover. Cure lies within yourself and everyone possesses the ability to do it. I recovered through self help, reading a book called Essential Help For Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes and visiting a website called Anxiety No More, created by Paul David who had anxiety for many years. Both teach sufferers acceptance of all the symptoms which is the key to recovery. There is no technique or quick fix. It is the natural healing process of the body which works in exactly the same way if you broke a bone. The difference being you don't poke and prod or stress over the broken bone demanding that it gets better immediately. This would only serve to lengthen the healing process. The broken bone might hurt for a while but you leave it alone , get on with your day and the bone heals. The same healing process applies to anxiety but at the moment, all you are doing is poking and prodding it, trying to worry yourself better. I hope this is helpful.

    Best wishes Beevee

  • wow Beevee, thanks so much im going to save this post and read back on some of your others on a day when my head is slightly clearer, u talk alot of sense, and the what you have wrote to me will be read again, when i am feeling rubbish. Thank You so much xx

  • I can't stress (pardon the clumsy pun) enough how much the book and website helped with my recovery. I used to feel anxious 24/7. Every passing thought was laced with brain zapping anxiety, and can see how some sufferers develop OCD, agoraphobia and other anxiety related disorders. They all have labels but the root cause is the same. Fear. Hence, the way to recovery is also the same by facing your fears, accepting them, floating past them (be comfortable about feeling uncomfortable) and let time pass.

    Happy to help further if necessary. Time for bed and conscious I may be waffling on a bit!

    My favourite quote of the day which has some resonance...

    " It will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, it's not the end."


  • You are such a help on this forum Just looking at Anxiety No More website hadn't heard of it

    Thank you x

  • Thank you Cat33. I find it very rewarding sharing my experiences but didn't do it much until I knew I had made it! I only discovered this website a few days ago when looking at a Facebook link about the Linden method. I was curious about his methods which claims instant cure or something like that. Hmmmm 🤔💩💩 £££££$$$$$

    On the Anxietynomore website there are lots of helpful posts on the forum but found those from "Nolan" particularly helpful. He has a way of being able to explain things in writing. The creator of the website has also written a couple of books. I bought the first but didn't need the second because I truly understood what I had to do to recover. Whilst Dr Weekes' books gave me the foundations, the website put it into practical terms which I was able to understand better. For example, I just couldn't get my head round the meaning of acceptance or floating past and the website helped a lot. I didn't post very much, other than when I was going through my relationship anxiety chapter, I just read posts from those who recovered and could see the common denominator with them all. Feel the fear and do it anyway, to coin another phrase. I just kept practising acceptance but when you understand anxiety it makes it easier. Getting back to the relationship anxiety (stop me if you've heard it already), I thought I didn't love my wife and would have to escape. I feared going home, there were times I couldn't look at her, I had all sorts of negative thoughts and feelings. My fear flight response was working double shifts and weekends. Through glimpsing (seeing the reality in moments of clarity) I was able to see that the crappy thoughts etc were a complete load of 💩💩. The thoughts still hung around for a while but the fear element had been diffused and they bothered me less and less. In the latter stages of recovery, the symptoms were just a nuisance but acceptance always wins. My feelings towards her are stronger as a result. It also made me realise what a good lady she is. I wasn't exactly the life and soul of the party when I was in the thick of it but she stood by me. A very resilient woman and definitely a keeper! ❤️

  • I'm so happy for you that your marriage has survived She sounds an amazing lady

    I get very annoyed at some of these websites where they offer a miracle cure and you have to scroll pages and pages only to be told the secret will not be told unless you spend ££££ s on a course

    The one you suggest is very good I shall look for Nolan

    I think I told you about DARE by Barry McDonagh with the book comes a free app its very good with relaxation audios and being on my phone I can use it anywhere

    I'm so glad you are now recovered and its brilliant you are helping others as you could have thought you didn't want to be reminded of it all Your knowledge is so valuable

    Thank you

  • It's just further proof that when you are recovered, you can talk about anxiety all day long and it doesn't even raise a flicker of emotion. Our minds and bodies just heal themselves and doesn't need us to keep interfering with that process because that is what keeps people suffering needlessly. As for relaxation, I didn't do or try anything different. I was never into meditation or other relaxation techniques before anxiety came knocking (unless it includes snoozing in front of the tv 😂😂) and figured I didn't need to do it. Don't get me wrong, I dabbled in meditation in the early days thinking it would cure me but to no avail. There is the risk that some people might be using all sorts of techniques to try and fix themselves which is the wrong thing to do but fine if you do it because you enjoy it. I took the attitude that relaxation would come to me when it was good and ready and not try to force it which is a contradiction in terms when you think about it. Forcing relaxation? How ridiculous is that!

    During my "try and fix it" chapter, I took up cycling and swimming to get rid of the symptoms. It did provide some relief but I wasn't getting any better so I resigned myself to doing it for fitness only. Had I continued at the same feverish pace, you might have seen me at the Olympics!

  • I do find the You Tube videos are amazing but I think when I was so poorly like you say it's forced relaxation Now I'm recovered its bliss I did yoga for over 30 years and that was brilliant but I have honestly found my body did heal itself but not recognised that until you have said My recovery started by my husband buying me a bike it was amazing how it helped

    I can't do that now as I'm riddled with arthritis but I find a walk really good

    Just sitting on our patio watching the planes go into Heathrow we are sufficiently far enough away that they aren't too loud but they come right over our house and turn to land over the fields behind our house and I feel totally relaxed

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