Is it anxiety, certain deficiencies, an illness or something completely else..?

[Sweetlolly11]

Hello everyone, for the past few days I've been googling, visiting doctors and doing checkups and I am already SO fed up. Every single day I am like this - so tired I can't even sit up at times, dizzy, depersonalized, derealised, confused. I visited my doctor two days ago - she was sarcastic and nasty to me. She said I'm turning into a hypochondriac because I came informed which must've hurt her ego. She also asked why I even did a cortisol test in the first place, and then I had to tell her what the symptoms of low cortisol are (and how I have all of them). Basically, she gave me a headache with her sarcasm, unprofessionalism and general lack of knowledge. She sent me for an audio test (hearing and balance test) to see if it was my ears that were giving me the dizziness. I did the test yesterday - I got YELLED at because my STUPID doctor didn't even CHECK my ears beforehand and RINSED them, and they had to do it at the hospital instead even though that's not their job it's HERS!! They told me to tell her that and I just said OH I WILL. My ears are 100% fine, actually they're kind of perfect, so I was told. I am waiting to see an endo at the end of this month, and to have the veins on my neck checked out next month to see if they are passing enough blood through because of my bad neck x-ray results (my doctor said it's "just how I grew" - ??? before that she asked if I was in a car accident, obviously it doesn't look too good). Anyway, I'm going crazy over here - I don't even know what to do anymore. The doctors are just sending me to do checkups, they're not saying anything productive, I don't know if I should go into psychotherapy or not, I don't know if I should pay hundreds of dollars to have some tests done in a private clinic to see if I have vitamin or mineral deficiencies because NOBODY (meaning the doctors) is sending me to have that checked (which would be FOR FREE) and I'm just going insane over here. I don't do anything with my life at the moment besides flipping out and googling things. I am tired. I am guessing being positive and trying to relax and to something nice for myself would be helpful, but I just CANNOT relax and I am OBSESSED with finding out what's wrong with me! And honestly I don't think anyone can blame me - I am not myself for months now and I cannot function properly. I can no longer pretend it isn't here, because it just is!

[Agora1]

Oh Sweetlolly11, we want so much to find a reason for feeling the way we do that we end getting caught up in the tangled web we weave. Doctors get made at us, we are afraid of medications, most tests come out normal and yet we continue trying to find out what they are missing. I too was Obsessed with finding out what was wrong with me. I was tired of the doctors smiling and shaking their heads whenever I brought up my symptoms. Family and friends didn't help, weren't supportive at all. One day you find yourself alone in dealing with this invisible curse. You tend to feel that you are the only one who cares to find out what's wrong. And if it takes til your dying day, you will show them, you really were sick with something more sinister than anxiety.

The thing is Sweetlolly, anxiety is sinister enough to ruin our life unless we are able to accept what the doctors and tests are saying. It's not easy I know, but the alternative is to keep digging and digging until something finally shows up. Even if it eventually does, it will probably have nothing to do with anxiety and then you are back to square one.

No one should be yelled at or mistreated by the medical profession. I see that you have 2 choices right now because I don't think you are ready to accept what it is. The first choice is to see an Alternative Medicine Doctor who will look into chemically caused anomalies that may exacerbate your anxiety OR set up an appointment with a Psychologist who will hopefully be able to explain away your symptoms as well as teach you how to progressively move forward. Right now you are in a Limbo, you're stuck and going no where. I know you feel like everyone is turning their back on you. Take control, be your own advocate and find what works for you. We're here to support you in anyway that we can as well. I so wish you well dear. xx

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Agora1]

Oh I know, thank you so much, you are my rock right now Mrs and I am forever grateful for meeting you, even only through this page x

I will finish with my checkups - I will see the endo, I will have the rest of the tests done and once I'm done, I'm done and I'll admit it's the anxiety. Endo, neurologist, neck veins, tests. I switched up my diet and I am trying to be healthier at the moment. I will try, I will not give up. If all else fails, I promise to admit it's all in my head once and for all, I swear. x

[Agora1 in reply to Sweetlolly11]

Good plan Sweetlolly. That's the key, to have a plan so you keep moving forward. I did it as well. I would walk down the halls of the hospital and say hi as I passed each doctor that knew me. I felt, it's my life and I had every right to get better. You will get there and we will be right behind you supporting you all the way. Good Luck. xx

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you, I feel so blessed and honored x

[Icanbeathis2016]

Hi there. We haven't spoke Ina dew weeks. But all I have to say is that I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the exact things. I am determined to want to find out what is rewlly wrong. I was pretty back against the wall and ended up starting my medication and now I feel like I have even more reason to panic and be adraid. I cannot relax either. Still not getting any sleep and I've become delirious.

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

So sorry to hear that I keep waking up during my sleep!!! I wake up 4-6 hours after I've fallen asleep and I struggle to fall back asleep and keep waking up until I finally give up and get up... so tired of this mess!!! And the more I research, the more I become a firm believer that there's a root to all of this somewhere in my body, just haven't found out what it is but I'm not stopping till I've drained every possible cause! Hang in there! x and chat me up if you want to talk, I want to know how your days are going

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Sweetlolly11]

Well you're already doing better than me getting 4 to 6 hours before you even wake up. I'm only getting 2 hours and I wake up I might fall back asleep and a hour later I wake back up again. I am fed up too. I cried so much these past four days that literally last night I was going to get food the my kids and I and I felt so mentally exhausted and weak I cried out to God again and I am not lying it's like tears barely came out because I cry so much. I'm so heartbroken and miserable. Yes let's keep in touch

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

So sorry to hear you suffering that much pm me, tell me what's bothering you so much at the moment!

[Onlyfools84]

Sweetlolly11 I am on the same path as you. I was ill nearly 3 months ago now and collapsed (fainted) whilst out. I only had a 10 second warning and it has rocked my whole world. Since that day I have felt so unwell, dizziness, off balance, brain fog, can't focus, blurred/double vision, hot flushes, shivering, muscle weakness, feeling faint, fatigue, can't sleep continued waking in the night, palpitations and more! I have had quite a few tests from doctors, bloods, MRI, CT scan, ecg and I'm now seeing a cardiologist to rule out my heart. So far all tests have come back 'normal' and nothing has been found. I have been told it's possibly anxiety causing my over awareness of my body and any symptoms I have as I'm paying too much attention to them. I however just cannot accept this. I have always been an anxious over thinker but I have never felt like this and I'm convinced there must be a physiological reason why I fell so unwell on a daily basis. I am trying so hard to be positive and put the anxiety to bed so that I can say to the doctors that I am not anxious yet I still have my symptoms therefore there must be something wrong somewhere. I have tried to stop googling and tried to take my mind off of my worries but it is very difficult as we all know. I hope we can find the answers or guideance we are looking for and we can move on with our lives and live them and be happy. All the best x

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Onlyfools84]

That sounds horrible and honestly it's given me even more fear :S have you been tested for vitamin and mineral deficiencies? How is your iron, BP? What were you doing on the day you fainted?

[Onlyfools84]

Sorry I didn't mean to scare you just wanted to let you know I know how you feel regarding chasing for a answer. Yes I have been tested but they said all within 'normal' range. I am very slightly low on iron but it's very little and they said it did not and is not the reason for my symptoms. I have since started taking supplements with iron in to help and it has definitely helped the fatigue. I did have a virus with a temperature on the day I fainted but the doctors can't answer if this was the reason/cause of the faint they just don't know which panics me even more! My BP is normal but the doctors have said it could be dropping and that could be a possible cause for my symptoms but again they are just not sure. It's all so scary I haven't been the same since it all started and it's such a struggle. I am so freaked out every day that I'm going to pass out again it really is awful. I'm trying to just carry on and adapt to what is happening now and be positive but it so difficult. Let's hope we both find the answers we do desperately need x

[Beevee]

Hi there

If you have had medical tests that reveal nothing, I suspect it will be anxiety making you feel the way you do. I also think the reason it hasn't got any better is because you are still fighting this, continually searching for answers and still in the grip of fear. It is the constant searching, worrying and monitoring your body for symptoms which is keeping you in the fear-anxiety-fear cycle. You need to break that cycle by giving up the fight and allow the anxiety to do what it wants to do without putting up any resistance. Your nervous system has been sensitised/exhausted due to the amount of worry and fear you have created and the reason why you feel like you do. My advice is to stop searching for answers because the chances are anxiety is causing you to be anxious which is causing you to suffer from anxiety! Your minds and bodies just need the chance to rest and start to recover but you are all getting in the way of the natural healing process by constantly battling against it. Effectively you are in a battle against yourself and one that you can't possibly win so give up the fight and learn to be comfortable about feeling uncomfortable. Resistance is futile and only serves to keep you stuck in the anxiety loop. Allowing yourself to feel all the symptoms at will and without challenge is the key to breaking the cycle.

In some ways, anxiety is like riding a bike or driving a car. If you start to fall off your bike or the car starts to slide, it is instinctive to turn the handle bars or steering wheel in the opposite direction to the fall or skid to stop crashing. If you do turn in the opposite direction, you will fall or the car will carry on skidding. However, to stop yourself from crashing, you need to do the opposite and turn the handle bars or steering wheel in the direction you are falling/skidding to save yourself. It doesn't feel or sound natural to do this but it is the correct way. Recovery from anxiety is the same. Instead of fighting it, do the opposite and do nothing about the thoughts and feelings. let them all be there and and learn to let go because it is your grip on anxiety that keeps it going. Stop searching and get out there and live your lives. Take the anxiety with you. The more you do the normal stuff, the better you will begin to feel.

[Mloanddb]

Sounds like me that's all I do is Google. I go to my doctor just like you & he kinda laughs at me. I feel like crap 95% of the time chest pains shortness of breath & on & on! I get so hopeless because I've had EKG a few times blood work done a few times all in a year been to the doctor a dozen times & yet I still have all of these symptoms. I'm convinced I have cancer. I went to the doctors just a few days ago & asked him for. Referral to have a mammogram he said how old are you I said 34 he laughed at me again. I said we my right boob has been kinda bothering me lately. He said with my age the insurance would basically fight me over it. So that's great you could possibly have a disease that could kill you but you aren't old enough to get it checked. I have a family history of this that's why I'm concerned I'm about to tell them as horrible as it sounds I think I have a lump so they will take me more seriously!! I just don't feel well & I would rather be safe than sorry ya know!