Been off work for a full week. Looking to get back on Monday as I am worried the longer I leave it the harder it will be to go back.
Been the worst two weeks of my life, anxious to the point of being suicidal. I live alone and have isolated myself from people so it has been a case of watching the walls draw in. My mum has been on the phone which has been great (would have beat myself up about that a couple of days ago '35 years old and still need my mum - failure) , lucky to have her and my dad and realise that they love me.
The doctor has been great and I have seen a good counsellor.
So, trying to get back on the horse so to speak and know that the biggest thing that I need to do is learn to be kind to myself (gonna be fight but got to glove up, can't let it win).
One point and one request ( sorry for the preamble)
POINT - last week I thought I couldn't live anymore and now although hazy and scary there seems to be a flicker of hope ( I always think that looks like the fluttering wings of a butterfly), so something for everyone suffering to hold on to.
REQUEST - the idea of going back to work is still bringing the tight chest and the negative thoughts, any words of encouragement would be appreciated.
Thinking of you guys, Matt