So after a full on breakdown I got back to work.
Finished second day.
It is hard, my anxiety is constant, my concentration is shot and I have lost most of my confidence. It is weird suddenly doing things that I have easily done in the past are scary. I realise after the last two weeks of hell that this has been coming on gradually form months.
I am trying to remember that I have been very ill,but I am struggling with guilt that I am not performing how I would like to. I hope I can get over this and get back to managing my illness and not letting it define me.
Still early days yet.
By the way my colleagues and boss have great, I am so lucky this way as I know that some of you have not had such a good response. In the end though the person that really needs to be kind to you is you, a lesson that I will learn.
I'll let people know how I get on. Thanks for all your support.