I've known I've had depression for some time now, but have tried to avoid having it confirmed by a doctor. On Thursday I had a panic attack at work, went to the doctor straight after as I was shocked by what had happened, and promptly got prescribed some anti-depressants. I spent the rest of the day trying to sleep and rest. The attack had clearly scared my boss too, and we decided I should quit for health reasons. As I am a temp either party can end the contract at any time. Effectively I had been sacked. This has hit me like a sledgehammer on the head.
Without job or money, and worried about further reactions like this, it's created greater anxiety in me since yesterday. 60% of me wants to hide under my duvet for the rest of my life, or at least contemplate doing so whilst sitting on my bed. The other 40% is telling me to get up, get out, and start helping myself.
I decided not to take another anti-depressant today, and have invested in some good running shoes so I can run to boost my mood and help me work out my issues. My head is such a mess I just don't know what to do. Have I made progress? I feel as though my life became a lot worse on losing my job. But, knowing and admitting that I suffer from depression and anxiety is the first step to helping me defeat it.