Why has my anxiety taken over my life?

I started with panic attacks at 12 yrs old. I got better, however at 24 yrs old it all came back but so much worse. It was horrendous as I didn't know which was worse, the panic attacks or the depression. It took a few years to feel normal, whatever that is, but the constant state of anxiety has never left me. Now at 48yrs it's back. I have never felt so low and out of control in all my life. I've got anxiety all day, I hate going to sleep, dread the mornings and although I would never kill myself, I do feel I would be free from all the anxiety. I am off work at the moment due to stress at work which I know has brought the anxiety back again. I have been to the doctor and today I saw the counsellor for my first appt. I was fine at first whilst I was talking but I then started to have a panic attack, I knew it was because I was talking about how I felt, I stood up, everything went bright, I was dizzy and then had no control as to what was going to happen next. I told the counsellor that I had to go, I tried walking down the corridor but if felt like everything was turning, I looked drunk as I was walking. I sat on down on a chair and rang my husband who was waiting for me outside in the car, he came in and as soon as he put me in the car I started breathing but was shaking, when I got in my house and sat down I was fine. I keep crying and even though I have had this for most of my life and I know I have got through this in the past, I feel that this time it's worse than ever, even walking around my house I keep walking as if I'm going to fall over because I'm tense and not breathing which makes me dizzy. I need to be in control of myself but I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Does anyone have any suggestions? Many thanks. hazydays x

6 Replies

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  • Hi. hazydays. Welcome. Can you ask yourself why you felt better when at home? Because you no longer feared the situation. So FEAR is what caused the problem is it not? You may say, 'Well, obviously I was afraid I might collapse. faint, make a fool of myself'. Exactly. That brought on fear because your brain got the message 'danger' and your body responded by releasing more adrenaline so creating more fear. You were in the fear-adrenaline-fear cycle.

    ALL the symptoms you describe have been felt by everyone on this site and that is the beauty of coming here. We ALL understand. No criticism, no 'pull your socks up' or 'snap out of it'. Those expressions are banned. There is a message on here now "Claire Weekes". Look it up and I feel you may find her books helpful. There Is no 'miracle' cure. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however faint now. It was all black for me once, but the light got brighter and brighter. It will for you too. Blessings. jonathan.

  • Hi Jonathan

    your comments are so encouraging for me, thanks. Im just so glad I found this website. I will take time and read through the blogs. Once again, thank you so much for your positive words. hazydays x

  • Hi hazydays

    I feel for you as I read your post

    For me i can keep my anxiety under control untill a stressful situation that seems on going comes up & then wham !

    Same has been happening to me , so I no exactly how you are feeling at the moment

    It does feel frightening when we have had some relief from anxiety & then it comes back with revengance !

    Yes its true it's fear , but when feeling it , our brains dont register , it feels like something we cant control & how are we ever going to get over this ?

    Well we will , a little at a time , & you are getting some help which is a good start

    Remember that is what you were there for , your anxiety , so they wont be shocked by your reaction

    Speaking to my GP today about how I felt made mine come on even more , so its not unusal how you reacted

    Been home is where you feel the most secure at the moment , with time that will change , but again , that is where I feel at my best , so dont worry again this is down to anxiety

    This is a great site , with caring people who no exactly what you are going through , i do hope you will keep posting as it really helps

    Let us now how the next session goes & keep talking & posting as much as you want :-)

    whywhy xxx

  • Hi whywhy,

    thanks for taking the time to answer my question. It does help to know that other people are going through the same as me, I don't mean it in a nasty way but when I'm feeling that bad it just helps to know I'm not on my own and I'm not going mad. As I told Jonathan, I am going to read through the blogs and I will keep you posted on my recovery. Many thanks for your kind words. hazydays x

  • hazydays

    As you will see when you look around the site , it works as we all help each other , so you are more than welcome , sometimes we dont always have the answers , but we do have a mutual bond ,that makes us understand & listen & care

    No its not a nasty way , to be relived so see you are not on your own , not at all

    Now you no you are no longer alone you no where to come & look forward to reading your posts

    whywhy xxx

  • thank you so much. I do appreciate your encouraging words. x

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