I started with panic attacks at 12 yrs old. I got better, however at 24 yrs old it all came back but so much worse. It was horrendous as I didn't know which was worse, the panic attacks or the depression. It took a few years to feel normal, whatever that is, but the constant state of anxiety has never left me. Now at 48yrs it's back. I have never felt so low and out of control in all my life. I've got anxiety all day, I hate going to sleep, dread the mornings and although I would never kill myself, I do feel I would be free from all the anxiety. I am off work at the moment due to stress at work which I know has brought the anxiety back again. I have been to the doctor and today I saw the counsellor for my first appt. I was fine at first whilst I was talking but I then started to have a panic attack, I knew it was because I was talking about how I felt, I stood up, everything went bright, I was dizzy and then had no control as to what was going to happen next. I told the counsellor that I had to go, I tried walking down the corridor but if felt like everything was turning, I looked drunk as I was walking. I sat on down on a chair and rang my husband who was waiting for me outside in the car, he came in and as soon as he put me in the car I started breathing but was shaking, when I got in my house and sat down I was fine. I keep crying and even though I have had this for most of my life and I know I have got through this in the past, I feel that this time it's worse than ever, even walking around my house I keep walking as if I'm going to fall over because I'm tense and not breathing which makes me dizzy. I need to be in control of myself but I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Does anyone have any suggestions? Many thanks. hazydays x
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